Mental Note (p 342)

From the book:

If you lower a woman's self-esteem, she will seek validation from you. If you make a woman jealous, she will become more attracted to you.

I should remember this in the future. This is necessary for success.

What Women Really Want

I had problems grasping why women would always throw themselves at wealthy men. What makes a wealthy man any better than an average man, or a poor man? No matter how much money you have, it should all boil down to one's personality.

Then I kept reading The Game.

Of course, it makes sense now. The two primary objectives of humans are survival and reproduction, and women have this burned into their brains as biological imperatives. Women do want love and romance, but unfortunately love is not a biological mandate for survival or reproduction. It is important for happiness, but happiness is not a need for life. So when women whore themselves out to rich men, it isn't because they are vain: it's because those men are biologically superior to the rest of us!

So what should my goal be? Well, having awesome game is always a goal, and having a great lifestyle to back it up is just as important. However, for the long run, it will be important to be rich. Then I will be able to get any woman I want.

I want to watch Just Friends since the character (played by the guy who plays Van Wilder in Van Wilder) goes from AFC to PUA. The interesting thing to note is that when he is a PUA, he's also incredibly well off and successful. No wonder the girl who gave him the LJBF routine earlier in life falls in love with him later in life!

Feeling Even Happier

I have to admit that I still am lonely and looking for some love, but I am glad to keep reading the game and understanding the theories behind everything. I am stuck out of the country right now, missing my connecting flight by only a few minutes, but at least I now have the chance to read more of The Game. What I continue to learn is that all of this gaming is not the silver bullet I am missing in my life, but it will help me find that silver bullet. Style eventually reaches a point where he doesn't even try gaming anymore with his Project Hollywood, and he finds that simply living this great lifestyle is what brings the women to him. That is what I want: to live a better life, and let the enthusiasm of this great life bring the women to me.

I think another more serious internal problem is that somehow I programmed myself to think I don't deserve this great life, and I don't deserve all the great things that I should. I am hoping to charge Steve P. with a hypnosis session to remove this misprogramming.

What if therapy is worthless and we're all just trying to be accepted, and the GAME is the key to happiness? I will find out soon!

Feeling Better

I've had some time to think about the whole mess that I'm in right now mentally and physically, but I'm totally confident that this has all happened for the best. I apologize for my previous pathetic rants about my own AFC patheticness, and I shouldn't blame my catalyst for these problems: she was just the last straw for me, and this game will make my life many times better. You readers will know first!

Onward!

Corollary

As a corollary to my last post about perceived value, I think the real goal for me is simply increasing my perceived value! I am attempting to do this physically: nosejob in January, continued and frequent bodybuilding to sculpt my shape, and hopefully teeth realignment with Invisalign (I would prefer to NOT use braces again but we'll see).

So that's the physical angle, but we're dealing with women here, and the real way to get a woman wet is not through physical appearance but words. What does one say to a girl to enchant her? I want the ability to charm any girl I want (and even those I don't want). I want the ability to make guys jealous of my charisma. I want girls to be sarging me at some point.

I know this is doable. My recruiting trip back to my college showed that once you're in the zone, it gets a whole lot easier. I want to cure myself of this depression and find a way to always put myself into the zone. Style alluded to this: he said that the best way to be attractive to girls is to be an overall happier guy, and he found ways to do this through inner gaming. Indy and I are trying to get a session going with Steve P., but I need to read up on inner gaming in the meanwhile.

It's truly amazing how simple it is, and all I really need to do is de-program my brain in the areas where I learned to fear women, fear rejection, and fear loss. I've tasted the reality of this a couple of times and I want to pursue it 100%. The greatest part is that it's already internal within me, and I just need to find a method to bring it out. Like the wizard says to Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, "you've always had the power:"

Glinda steps out of the ball of light and kindly tells Dorothy that she has always had the power to go home with the magical power of her ruby slippers, but she had to discover it for herself.

Dorothy: Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?

Glinda: You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas.

Dorothy: I have?

Scarecrow: Then why didn't you tell her before?

Glinda: Because she wouldn't have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.

Dorothy insightfully explains what she has learned from her experience - during her dream of being in Oz. In a self-revelation, she realizes that everything she could ever have wanted was right in her own backyard - if she had wanted it hard enough. She relinquishes the miracle-working power of the Wizard - he has floated away - and relies upon her own power and personality to find her independent identity and way home. By returning to the Gale home after fantasizing about the enchanting world beyond and experiencing it along the Yellow Brick Road, she has confronted her childhood fears and grown up emotionally with strength enough to meet her adult future. In some ways, the journey was as rewarding as the accomplishment of her goal.

I've always had the ability in me to be a more attractive person and be more confident in myself, but I never really wanted it hard enough or believed I could be all I wanted. I'm still working this, but I'm thinking this is going to be key to my success.

Yes, as you can tell, the game has already started to consume me--and I've barely scratched the surface. God help me.

Perceived Value

Basic attraction seems to all come down to perceived value. A hot guy has higher perceived value than a normal looking guy. A rich guy has very high perceived value. A famous guy has the highest perceived value. There are loopholes to increase perceived value, such as making oneself more attractive through exercise, dress, and socializing. The game focuses on these loopholes.

Essentially, though, women view men as stock symbols. Increase your stock symbol's value and you will be more attractive and get more women. How fucking lame. Guys just want cool girls with whom they can have great sex and enjoy their time. In that view, I feel nothing bad about playing the game since they are just playing us.

Apologies

I would like to submit an apology for my former post. I won't delete it, but it's a reminder of how much work is needed before I can ascend to the rank of PUA. It's not necessarily the catalyst that I want; it's the idea of getting a girl I really want that I crave. The catalyst herself is merely a constant reminder of what I need to do to get to where I want. This will all ultimately result in a better me, but I really just want instant gratification. I'm still angry that I can't be a natural, but that's the way the cards unfolded.

There's only one solution, then:

Study. Practice. Study. Practice.

Forget all other personal endeavors except for the game. Play the game like your life depends on it. Let the game consume you. Study other players and be the best player you can.

Regression

Allow me to regress for a moment and rant.

It's so fucking unfair that we un-naturals and non-rich guys have to study so fucking hard to get the women we want. I see natural friends of mine who are dorkier than I am, yet they get girls left and right because "they're so cute." What the fuck man? I don't want to go down this path anymore. Why can't I just be me? Why can't I go out with the one girl who started it all? Why is it that no matter how many more girls I meet, I still can't find one that interests me as much as her? Why do I need to sleep with six women to forget her? Why does she have to have the most powerful eyes that continue to seduce me months after she's rejected me? Why does she have to be girlfriend to a guy I know who I personally don't like?

I know there is meaning to this all, but dammit I'm in physical pain right now and I'm cynical as a result. I know I have to go through this training to become a better man and bring out the best in me, but dammit it's not fair. I just want to be happy. I just want to be accepted. I just want to be loved and to love someone. I just want to be me! Goddammit, it's such a fucking simple principle. Guys are always supposed to date tons of women and have as much sex as possible, but it's not what I want! I just want one girl who's totally awesome and rocks my world. Unfortunately, the catalyst continues to pass all my internal tests. Why must God torture me? I know intellectually once I go through all this pain and training and become a damn good PUA, I will have the abilities to win her back if I wanted her, but right now I just want her to like me as much as she likes her new boyfriend. Why do I fixate on this girl? I think the community has only made life worse. I've never had thoughts like these before about one girl.

I don't just want someone to love me, I want her to love me.

This is so fucking pathetic. I can see how Mystery got so depressed numerous times. Those of us coming from more difficult backgrounds who just want to be accepted and happy have to try so much harder.

I am so fucking pathetic.

Another Bump in the Road

I'm still very much an AFC. I'm about 60% through The Game (I'm a slow reader), so I haven't spent much time studying up the actual material like routines on the ASF site. I was sarging with some guys in the lair recently and realized that while I have enough confidence to open up a set, I don't have what it takes (yet) to close it. I need to study a routine from point A to point B and nail it down. Eventually I can add more to my routine, but I need to have a solid algorithm that takes me from hello to building rapport to demonstrating value and then closure. Truth be told, I have yet to ask a girl for her phone number during a cold call. It's so simple for some of my wingmen but I don't think I'm ready yet. More studying, idiot!

Fortunately, I have some strong motivation: my catalyst has a new boyfriend, and I know him. He's a douchebag. But he has been studying the patterns of the community for well over a year now, and he is a bit of a natural, so he's got a huge advantage on me. I still don't think their personalities are compatible, so my AFC component is hoping they run their natural course of relationship and terminate.

Let me talk more about my catalyst again. We went out only on one real date--the second date was a complete disaster. It was OK at this point because I saw some flaws in her and didn't really think there was any connection between us. Then we met up a few times "as friends" and started to develop a reason to hang out together, which was cool. She didn't talk about who she was dating, and I didn't ask. Me being the AFC I am didn't mention the lack of girls I was banging. Anyway, we started having a really good time together as friends, which sparked the typical AFC desire to hook up with her. Men and women really cannot be friends unless they are married to others or they've already had sex.

I didn't try to advance our relationship anymore at this stage because in many ways I'm still very much an AFC, and I don't want to escalate any possible LTR material until I'm fully prepared. If she has potential, and we are hanging out as friends, and my alpha maleness combined with an obvious ability to choose my woman shines through (as it happens when you're in the zone), then perhaps there is an option for escalating our relationship down the line. In the meanwhile, I'm going to continue to play the game and improve my position. As I've learned repeatedly out here in Seattle, every woman is single until she is married. Van Wilder quote:

Taj: Doesn's she have a boyfriend?
Van Wilder: Details.

This does lead me to my next set of comments about the game. I continue to evaluate Style and understand that he really was coming from a similar place I was, and this is most strong when he meets up with the uber seductionists Steve P. and Rasputin. These two actually have the ability to have the girl pay the guy to give him oral sex. That's right: they will pay him so they can work on their skills. They take Style under their wing and work with his brain through very deep NLP, literally removing his fears of women and sexual rejection from his brain. I want to do this myself, and I want to do it for the common good, as it is very true that it can be used for pure evil.

This whole concept of "inner game" is really what is hitting me the most though. Why do men have problems with women? Because those men have problems with themselves. Most men and women have problems with themselves, but some men (serious AFCs) are so consumed with their problems on a subconscious level that they can't accept the fact that they deserve the best that the world has to offer. Intellectually, they can, but they are programmed internally to deny that notion. They think they ought to be doomed to mediocrity, no matter how well they do financially. I realize that I do want the best the world has to offer me, in terms of lifestyle, happiness, money, and women--and ultimately, my wife. But there's a part of me that just won't accept the fact that I deserve it. This is why I must study the inner game more.

So what's my plan of action? I'm going to continue The Game, get back to reading as much seduction material as I can on ASF and any books, read up more on NLP, and then practice hardcore and routinely. I'm hoping to go sarging on order of 3-4 nights per week, and I ultimately want to be sarging all the time without even thinking about it. I want to learn how to give a girl multiple orgasms through coitus. I want to learn how to get a girl to be attracted to me. I want to know exactly when a girl is attracted to me, and I want to get the best girlfriend possible for me. I also like the idea of convincing a girl that her giving me head is such a privilege that she has to ask my permission and beg me to let her. This is the ultimate aphrodisiac: power. I wouldn't use it for evil, for I am still a good man, but I do feel in the past I always wanted head, and girls gave it to me, but it wasn't a burning passion on their end. Nothing I did with them was.

I also have a physical problem in my right jaw known as temporomandibular joint disorder (TMD). Whenever I am under stress at work, it causes me to clench my teeth a lot even at rest, resulting in a constant band of pain around my forehead that makes me feel completely depressed. I need to get this fixed.

I will continue to work out regularly and get physically more appealing to women. I will get a nosejob and look better. I will buy more clothes to look better. Most importantly, I will study the game and practice it routinely. I want it to consume my life so much that I can't stop thinking about gaming. Ultimately, 6-12 months from now, I want it to be so internalized within me and so streamlined that I don't even think about it as gaming anymore, but really just having fun and adventures. I want my next LTR to be with a true sweetheart, and a hottie at that: 8 or above. She swallows, loves my alpha-ness, and needs sex regularly.

I really just want to be an attractive guy overall: girls want me, and guys want to be me. As Style says, the community members aren't in it just to get laid: they are doing it to be accepted. Lots of us AFCs never feel fully accepted by our peers for whatever reason (upbringing primarily), and this is only magnified by women and their innate ability to lose attraction to a man with depression or insecurities around women.

Will I succeed in my quest? I strongly suspect I will, as my instinct is telling me so.

Will I "win" the catalyst back, ultimately closing the loop of my life, perhaps even leading to a very fruitful LTR? Right now I hope this is exactly what happens 8 months or so from now. I think if I continue to practice and actually get laid (hence curing my one-itis), this will lead to a natural calming around her and will also increase my stock value to her (perceived value, that is). When she sees me picking up women as if picking up the newspaper, she will be so incredibly attracted to me that I have a strong suspicion that if she is not dating anyone at the time (or even if she is), she will ask me point-blank "why aren't you seducing me?" And, as my instincts are telling me right now, the choice will come back to me: will I want her then? Once I have the ability to get as many women as I'd like, will I still want this one girl? She's smart, fun, and hot, but can that alone sustain my interest? We shall see.

Right now I just need to continue to get over her, especially now that I know she has a boyfriend. At least I don't have to worry about sexual tension between us (I don't know if she ever felt any anyway). I will continue to be her friend as a possible LTR investment because she does indeed have some value, although I strongly believe she has some personal issues she should flesh out before she's ready for me.

Perhaps this is meant to happen? I must admit I feel completely happy around her, even though I've only kissed her once before feeling the wrath of her rejection. I think if I work out my personal problems through inner gaming and lots of practice in the field followed by waves of success, and if she works out her own issues, perhaps we'll realize that we're both ready for each other and this is what is meant to happen.

Although I've had problems sleeping this week because of work-stress and this recent news about her, I still am happy that this has all transpired, because it's giving me a very strong motivation to continue my work in this area and improve my game. Had I dated her way back when for a few months, ultimately resulting in her losing interest in my AFC-ness, I might never have learned about the community and how it could really improve my life.

I know that this is what is meant to happen, and I will trust in God's judgment and decision, however it may hurt me. So far it's been a great learning experience, and there is a LOT more to go. Good hunting.

Paternal Motivation

My life is getting so much better, and it's all happening over the past few months. My mom died many years ago, which was a reason I went down the rabbit hole and became an AFC, but now I have a new mother! One of my coworkers' moms "adopted" me into her family, so now I have someone I can call anytime, ask questions, ask advice, and help validate myself. It's so amazing! I feel great knowing she's out there, even though I've never met her. We've talked on the phone a lot and I totally love her. Is that possible? If only her daughter--my new sister--wasn't an HB 9.5! Grrrr.

I've got even cooler news: my father figure at work knows about the community! He has even met Ross Jeffries. Can you believe it? Life is so fucking great right now. I'm going to go out and tap a HB-9, Polish au pair, aged 19 years.

Power

I'm worried that this power will become more than I can manage.

Attraction is Not a Choice

I'm so glad for my catalyst. If she hadn't rejected me claiming there was no chemistry, I never would have entered the community. After years of repeated bad experience with women and complete terror in my part approaching them, I needed something to get me off my ass to figure out what's wrong with me. (like Style, I have something inside me that's missing, and I'm hoping to fill that void with women and inner gaming)

One important thing I learned after my catalyst's rejection was from my main wingman here. I said "She said there was no chemistry? You know what, that's bullshit. That means I failed to make the chemistry." He agreed with me. After repeated study of Ross Jeffries, Mystery, and others, it's clear that I am correct. This explains how so many hot women can be going out with these disgusting buckets of lard: because, somehow, the buckets of lard make the chemistry.

No more. I'm on the PUA challenge and I want to be one of the best PUAs out here. Like Style, I'm going to read up on numerous methods, including Mystery, Badboy, Juggler, and the father of it all, Ross Jeffries. I want to finish the book first, though, because Style seems so much like me that I want to see what happens to him first. If only the book weren't so great! I find myself savoring its flavor, reading it only a few chapters each night to enjoy it.

Where did AFCs come from?

After meeting a lot of RAFCs, RPUAs, and PUAs, I'm still wondering where AFCs come from. I was an AFC--still am sometimes--but how is it that so many American men (if not hundreds of millions globally) are completely powerless to women? What happened in our society?

Personally I blame feminism. I think equality under the law is fine, but when feminists started saying we need to treat them like humans and not objects, things started going down the tubes. It wasn't their immediate impact--oh no, it took years and lots of sexual harassment lawsuits to bring down the wall of masculinity. The thing is, as much as women intellectually want to be treated like equals of men, they don't biologically want to be equals. This is why the more of a PUA I become and the more I objectify women, the better I do with them. Who'da thunk?

It does suck, though, because I am a good man at heart. Unfortunately, years of my own internal problems combined with complete apathy by the majority of the female gender has forced me to go down a new path: the path of a pick-up artist.

Great quote from Style in his book:

And then I thought, if I was smart enough to quote James Joyce in the bathtub, why did I feel so stupid in front of these girls?

I like Style a lot, as he reminds me of me. He's a super smart guy that just happens to be horrible with women for some reason. I, too, am pretty damn smart if I don't mind my saying so, yet I have this almost innate fear of women. It's probably just fear of rejection, though, so I know if I sarge enough, it will eventually go away.

One thing's for sure: I'm going to teach my sons to be PUAs. My father never taught me a damn thing, and I'm not going to let it happen to my own sons.

Street Sarging

I met up with the fine gentlemen in the Seattle Lair tonight. Kjell introduced me to the direct approach, including immediate kino and qualification of the female. I've tried the direct approach before, field-tested in the university area in a party with an immediate "hello, you wanna talk or you wanna dance?" approach. Kjell's approach entails walking up to the girl, turning her towards you if necessary, scanning her up and down, and saying "hi, my name is X, I'd like to get to know you better."

Kjell was clearly the top PUA in the group, although Jesse has some talent but has been out of the game for a while. Lou did a great job as well, and hell he's been on TV with Style! Kjell noticed I've got some skills, but he thinks I've got something holding me back from closing my deals.

This is what I love about the game: people in the lair are entirely focused on supporting their fellow members. They don't focus on any particular girl unless they get into a serious relationship, so when they're out there playing, they're trying to help each other out and give each other tips. More than strategy, they're interested in the players themselves--what their stories are, what their experience is, etc.

I feel like I'm in a fraternity! Sarging with these guys should be a blast.

Local Sarging

My flight to NYC was canceled, so I won't be sarging in the Big Apple this weekend. It's OK though, as I'm tired from work and could use a break (i.e. no weekend travels). The good news is that the local lair is having a meeting this Saturday, so I'm hoping to meet the local RAFCs and RPUAs. Style says the best way to learn to sarge better is to watch other wingmen in action.

I'm worried that I may become obsessed with this game. I find myself thinking about it all the time, and I fear that once I start playing the game -- I mean, really playing the game -- that it might consume my life. We'll have to see...

Fundamental Theorem of Seduction

Again, Style has recognized something that I've long considered but avoided contemplating. I find it to be a fundamental theorem of seduction:

In order to sexually seduce a girl, you must be willing to lose her.

A typical AFC characteristic is not pursuing a girl because "I don't want to ruin our friendship" or something along those lines. These are good points in many situations, but often it just means he's scared of rejection. I have a good friend here that I'm keeping as a non-target (my catalyst for becoming a PUA and making my life better, actually), so I'm hoping I never have to come across the choice of seducing her or staying friends. My fear is--and I've already backed this up countless times with other female friends--that the better I get at seduction, the higher the chance that she will be attracted to me. Nothing increases your perceived value more than attraction from other women. We'll have to see.

Off to NYC tonight. I'll have a post mortem in a few days.

My Location Revealed

I had kept my location secret for a while because I wanted to remain anonymous, but I've decided to join the local lair. (A lair, for you readers, is a group of RAFCs and PUAs who sarge together and regularly) Anyone who really wanted to find out where I lived could figure it out, so I might as well reveal it now.

I live in Seattle.

I hope to become one of the top three PUAs in Seattle by May 1, 2006.

The countdown is on, as the header of this page shows.

NYC Goal

Van Wilder is off to NYC this weekend where he will be sarging like a motherfucker. I want to try the slick Style maneuver he mentions at the end of the chapter on Demonstrating Value.

1. Move in and say she smells nice. What perfume is she wearing? Do you know that animals are evolutionarily wired to be aroused when someone smells them?
   
2. When mating, the male lion bites the female lion's mane, which is another evolutionary trigger for sexual activity. Stroke her hair and pull it down from the roots.
   
3. The sensitive parts of the human body are where little air hits, like at the elbow joint. Hold her arm and move towards the crease opposite of the elbow; bend the arm a little bit, and bite it.
   
4. But you know what is the best area for this trigger? It's when a potential mate bites the other's neck. (point to neck) Say "bite my neck." If she refuses, look away for a few seconds to punish her. When you look back say, "bite my neck." She should do it now, but if she doesn't it's time to pull out. If she does bite your neck, ask how that felt and then kiss her.

Brilliance! Anyway, so the goals for NYC include: talking to at least a dozen girls each night, getting at least 3 phone numbers, but most importantly, employing the Mystery kiss-close method or the Style kiss-close mentioned above.

I still have a ton of research to do, but I'm really enjoying it all. I'm learning a lot about men, women, and myself!

Varium et Mutabile

I'm pissed off. My pivot cancels on me due to time constraints, and then my wingman is late at a meeting, forcing me to stay in. I was quite excited to sarge tonight, but at least I get the chance to enjoy some more of the book. Ominous quote from Style:

But the truth was that, despite all my rationalizations, I still felt embarassed by what I was doing and the degree to which I was letting [the game] consume my life.

Does it really get that bad? We shall see.

Game On

Indy and I are going sarging tonight, and we're bringing along a really hot pivot (redhead, 9--body 10, personality 10, face 9). Post mortem coming later tonight. I haven't studied the game that much recently, as I've been actually reading The Game, but I'm bound to have a good time. The last time Indy and I went out, we had a blast, even though I lacked skills.

Game on!

Jiminy Cricket

I've posted recently about how I'm still worried about entering the community. How will this change me? How will it affect my existing network of friends? How will it affect my work? There are many members of the community who are quite sketchy and downright nasty; these men often use their powers for evil (i.e. as much sex as possible with as many women as possible).

After careful consideration and listening to my conscience, I can safely proclaim that this is success-decisive for my life. I've been following my Jiminy Cricket religiously for the past six months or so, and never has he led me astray yet. Right now he's telling me to enter the community and practice regularly. I don't know if we'll build a Project house out here in my city like they have in Los Angeles, but I would be very interested in meeting other PUAs in this area.

But why is this so damn important? Numerous reasons come to mind. I've tried to get better at talking with women just by being happier and more myself, but it seems small rejections or bad conversations return me to my normal AFC state. In general, I have never really known how to hold a good conversation with a girl with whom I have sexual interest. It's like I talk to them and my mind just goes away, forcing me to ask boring interview questions.

But I think the most important reason I want to do this comes back to something Style said in the book (again, I truly identify with Style so far). He says that every man's life is divided into two areas: success with his career/ambition/goals and success with pleasure/enjoyment/women. Men are constantly plagued by our desires to push ahead and succeed in this rat race we call America, and we're also permanently plagued by our need for sex (and even love) -- and this latter problem affects us no matter where we are. While I know I've been very successful with my career/ambition/etc. component of my life so far, and I know I will be even more successful in the future in that respect, I still feel I am a total failure with women in general. I'm not the kind of guy who always has a girlfriend or has two or three girls always pining over him. It's just not me, unfortunately, and I think the problem has only been made worse by years of this apathy by the female gender. There have been times where I have noticed interest by other women, but for various psychological reasons having to do with my upbringing, I ignore them.

Oh, I've had sex, but you can count the number of unique women on one hand. Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily--I don't really feel I need to be in the hundreds by the time I die to be proud of this, but I would like to be in the dozens. I'd like to have the experience of enjoying so many beautiful women as a reward for my hard work outside of women (i.e. on the job). I know that one day when I'm rich, this won't be a problem and women will flock towards me, but I don't want to sit around waiting that many years with only my hand to keep me happy. It's pathetic! I mean why shouldn't women be flocking all over me? I'm not a bad looking guy, I make great money, and I'm fun to be around, dammit! But as my cousin's girlfriend pointed out, I really just have very little confidence around women. It's not that I'm scared of them, but I just have had so many bad experiences that it's destroyed that area of my life, and entering the community may be my only cure.

I look at a role model of mine at work and know that I want to live his life. He's now over 40, married to a beautiful woman, and he has two fantastic children. His wife is an awesome mom and a wonderful cook, and he has sculpted himself a very cozy existence where we work. He socializes with high-level players in the company and golfs with his boss. In short, his life is great with no problems. That's what I want, but I fear this insecurity that has been plaguing me for six years now (I judge my starting point at age 18 when my first girlfriend dumped me), and I don't see it going away any time soon. Rather than sitting back and taking this abuse, I'm going to be proactive (i.e. alpha) and make a difference in my life. If that means becoming a PUA, then so be it.

My only real worry is disease. If you hook up with enough women, even kissing, you are bound to get something that might stick with you for the rest of your life (herpes would be the least of your worries). Just imagine being 25 and having HIV--your whole life is ruined because you had to have too much fun with too many women. How are you going to ever have a family when you've got AIDS? Fortunately, I figure I can avoid these problems by being very careful with protection and selection, too. As Van Wilder says in his movie:

You should always check the quality of the field before you step out onto the turf. Don't be a fool; wrap your tool.

Amen, brother.

Background Debate

I'm still asking myself if I will ever be able to become a PUA: will I be able to build my own routines that are a natural extension of myself, or will I even be able to clone the masters? Personally I don't care much for Mystery's magic tricks: it's just not my thing, and I wouldn't feel comfortable toting along a bag full of props with me into a club. Simple tricks like the ESP 1-to-10 guess and making lit cigarettes disappear are cool, but bringing along runes and tarot cards to a bar? Please. It works, yes, but it's not me.

I've been also thinking about what my goals are. I've posted this recently but it's an important debate. Do I want to sleep with a dozen girls per month? Or do I just want to find a solid girlfriend and have the confidence, social value, and sexual abilities to keep her? I'm traveling a lot for the next two months, so perhaps I want to have my first one-night stand sometime soon? Sure! But this also leads me to think that I don't want a serious relationship until I've finished my travels. Then, once I am settled in my new city here, I can start to really play the game.

Back to my goals (once I'm done traveling). Indy and I both agreed that we want to be the guys who walk into any social setting from a coffee shop to a Presidential dining ball and have complete localized attention of our immediate crowds. We want others to be drawn in to our lives simply because we're so enjoyable to talk with and we have so much interesting stuff to say. We want girls to be begging for us to talk to them without even acknowledging them!

The great thing is that this is all possible. The minds of women have been the most difficult enigma of my life, but I'm learning that I don't have to understand how they work, I just have to understand how I can exploit them. Maybe that sounds bad to you, but hell they do the same things to us with their made-up faces, larges breasts, and seductive clothing. From what I've learned in The Art of Seduction, they all want to be seduced and taken away.

Funny quote from The Game: (pg 87)

[after Sasha gets his first e-mail address:]
As anyone who regularly reads newspapers or true-crime books knows, a significant percentage of violent crime, from kidnappings to shooting sprees, is the result of the frustrated sexual impulses and desires of males. By socializing guys like Sasha, Mystery and I were making the world a safer place.

But what's even more disturbing is the quote that comes two paragraphs later. It's something I've been thinking about a lot and I feel I must present his quotation verbatum.

It was then that I realized the downside to this whole venture. A gulf was opening between men and women in my mind. I was beginning to see women solely as measuring instruments to give me feedback on how I was progressing as a pickup artist. They were my crash-test dummies, identifiable only by hair colors and numbers--a blonde 7, a brunette 10. Even when I was having a deep conversation, learning about a woman's dreams and point of view, in my mind I was just ticking off a box in my routine marked rapport. In bonding with men, I was developing an unhealthy attitude toward the opposite sex. And the most troubling thing about this new mindset was that it seemed to be making me more successful with women.

So essentially, by turning women into objects rather than humans, men are more successful with them? Yup! It boils down to my thesis: feminism was a bad idea. Oh, legality under the law is fantastic (including suffrage), but somewhere along the way, culture started teaching us that women were to be treated like queens. Biology, however, disagrees, and the dogs don't like the dogfood. So treat women like objects and you will prevail; treat them like queens and you will be miserable.

An old girlfriend of mine always commented on one of her previous boyfriends (and a good friend of mine): "He's good with women because he doesn't give a fuck." That doesn't mean much by itself--if he didn't give a fuck he would never talk to a woman nor would he get laid. But I suppose that being overly sensitive when first meeting a woman is a huge turnoff. No matter how much feminism denies it, women truly want a strong man (not a baby) who can protect them and their offspring. Being sensitive at the right times is good, but don't be a whining baby.

Mental notes left and right here...

REALness

Indy talked to me today and pointed out a concern of his that I am in agreement with: becoming a PUA is a nasty business, and we don't want to become slores. Many natural womanizers I know are very attractive and smooth with women, and many of these use this to their advantage to sleep with as many women as possible. This is not my goal, nor is it Indy's. We have more respectable goals: we simply want the confidence, charisma, and raw skills to satisfy any woman we want. We want solid girlfriends who make us happy and keep us entertained. We some day want solid wives who will bear our children. And we're already great men, but we think PUA training will help us bring out the best things about us. We want to exude confidence in who we are and what is special about us; we don't want to follow someone else's routines verbatum. In short, we want to be REAL.

That's what it's all about: being real. We want to be able to walk into a room and capture peoples' attention, not through gimmicks or patterns, but through an amplification of ourselves.

I still think, however, that PUA training is necessary to get there. We are aware of how rough it might get once we practice enough (and if we choose to go down that path). Just finish The Game and you'll see how things turn out for Style. Ultimately, however, he finds his match and is satisfied. That's really what I want to do: to find my match. I don't want to settle for anything less than optimal compatibility. And I always want to be having fun. However, what I don't want to do is sit around waiting passively for another awesome girl to come my way. I'd rather take the initiative and find her. Capture her. Seduce her. And make her desire me even more. There's no greater satisfaction than something you fought hard for. If we just sat back and got everything without any work, why get off the couch?

Starting into "The Game"

I started reading The Game this weekend on my flights. I'm only about 100 pages into it, but damn I love it! The book it chock full of information on the major players of the game like Mystery, and it contains a lot of their strategies summed up in the stories (e.g. the Mystery kiss-close). The book itself is beautifully designed, with gold-colored edges and a built-in bookmark. I'm loving it!

So far I identify myself mostly with Style: a good guy, not unattractive, who never was taught to be an alpha male or to approach women. He asks Mystery "how do you start kissing a girl" because he simply was never told how to do this. It sounds stupid, I know, but I really do agree with him. In my early college days when my floormates were making out with women left and right, I never understood how they went from "hello" to making out on their beds. Of course a lot of this had to do with their physical attractiveness, social value, intrinsic value, and self-confidence. I remember asking a friend of mine just how he would hook up with a girl, and he of course gave the lame response, "You know, you start watching a movie, then you start fooling around, etc." Totally uninformative!

The great thing is that Style, in under a month after his first workshop, is befriended by Mystery and Sin, and he gets the phone number of a Playmate of the Year. How fucking amazing is that? And it really is easy once you start to get a feeling for it. Mystery performs the same routines again and again, but to the targets it looks original of course. That's fine with me!

I've also realized something in talks with Indy: we will soon have a major advantage over literally millions of other men. Even naturals don't understand how we can get with HBs! When I was back at my college on a recruiting trip, some of my "natural" friends were even impressed by my sargings--and these guys can lay almost any girl they want due to their physical attraction. Imagine how much power a true PUA has, and not just with women--all parts of life. This excites me about the game: it will make my life incredibly better in all ways.

But you need to be careful. I've said it before, but the game is like the force: you can use it for good (which many do), but it can consume you as well. It truly is like handing dynamite to children, as Ross Jeffries says in the book.

Some goals I've set for myself:

• Going to a party out-of-town with a super hot recruiter for another company (competitor of mine) -- my goal is to hook up with her that night so she can report back to my company's recruiter how she hopes to see me again at my school, and my college recruiter (who was roommates with the other girl) will ask for my return on the next recruiting trip
• Going to Turkey for Thanksgiving -- seduce a beautiful Turkish girl (well, they are all beautiful, so seducing simply a Turkish girl will suffice)
• Going to Vegas in December -- get some numbers, maybe get a one-night stand? (unlikely--time is running low to perfect my speed seduction skills)
  
• Going to Jamaica for Christmas with my family: find myself a hunny for the week I'm down there and seduce her, then use her to escape my family each night

Modest goals, I feel, but I'm going to need to drown myself in ASF material. Onward!

The PUA Challenge

I'm a goal-oriented guy, and I'm declaring here and now that I want to become a PUA by May 1st. I've dropped all of my other self-improvement programs other than bodybuilding (and eating well), so I'm going to focus only on my game. I can learn to swim and play the guitar anytime. Becoming a PUA, however, is a skill that will continue to reward me again and again.

So the challenge is on! I'm setting up a countdown on my page to make it even more legitimate. I must become a PUA by May 1 2006. May Day will be a very good day for me this year.

Missing One-itis?

As I'm growing as a PUA, I'm actually starting to miss having One-itis with my catalyst. It was fun having a central goal, but now I'm just focusing on myself. I suppose that's better in the long run, but I feel that idealistic/romantic part of me is slowly dying away.

Rhinoplasty

I'm considering getting a nosejob. My nose is OK as it is, but it's not nearly as natural looking as I would like. I've been fishing around for input as to whether I should go ahead with it, and I'm receiving conflicting feedback. Some people I know well (guys) say that my nose is fine and that I shouldn't spend $8,000 to get it fixed. They say my nose is good as-is and I won't get any more women by getting surgery. Then there are others who are more removed (i.e. don't know me) who do, indeed, think there is a significant difference.

I can take apart the cost argument easily: amortize the cost over the rest of your life (how long your nose will last you) and the expense isn't that ridiculous. I plan to live at least another 100 years (go gene therapy!) so even $10,000 / 100 = $100 per year. Hell I spend more than that per month in fuel.

Regarding the guys' second point about women, this is true, but my goal is not to "get more women" by having a better nose. Rather, the goal is to make me feel better about myself. Make me feel more natural looking, which will as a result exude in my own self-confidence. I am not ashamed of my nose as it is, but if you could see the new nose projections, I really would look a lot nicer with a modified nose.

I'm really only posting this because it's a personal consideration for a rising PUA. How important are props? Nice cars, nice clothes, nice hair--symmetrical face? Not nearly as important as the game! The game is all that really matters, and serious players are damn good at it. I will get women by practicing the game more, but I think I could really boost my self-confidence by playing the game with a better nose.

Relevant Van Wilder quote:

Jew 1: How do you put a price on dignity?
Jew 2: How do you put a price on poo-nany?
Jew 1: Yes! Ahhh!

I'm going ahead with the surgery (I'm just trying to figure out how to pay for it now), but I'm totally open to hear your input. Not that anyone knows of this blog... but some day this will be a chapter in my book.