Another Bump in the Road
I'm still very much an AFC. I'm about 60% through The Game (I'm a slow reader), so I haven't spent much time studying up the actual material like routines on the ASF site. I was sarging with some guys in the lair recently and realized that while I have enough confidence to open up a set, I don't have what it takes (yet) to close it. I need to study a routine from point A to point B and nail it down. Eventually I can add more to my routine, but I need to have a solid algorithm that takes me from hello to building rapport to demonstrating value and then closure. Truth be told, I have yet to ask a girl for her phone number during a cold call. It's so simple for some of my wingmen but I don't think I'm ready yet. More studying, idiot!
Fortunately, I have some strong motivation: my catalyst has a new boyfriend, and I know him. He's a douchebag. But he has been studying the patterns of the community for well over a year now, and he is a bit of a natural, so he's got a huge advantage on me. I still don't think their personalities are compatible, so my AFC component is hoping they run their natural course of relationship and terminate.
Let me talk more about my catalyst again. We went out only on one real date--the second date was a complete disaster. It was OK at this point because I saw some flaws in her and didn't really think there was any connection between us. Then we met up a few times "as friends" and started to develop a reason to hang out together, which was cool. She didn't talk about who she was dating, and I didn't ask. Me being the AFC I am didn't mention the lack of girls I was banging. Anyway, we started having a really good time together as friends, which sparked the typical AFC desire to hook up with her. Men and women really cannot be friends unless they are married to others or they've already had sex.
I didn't try to advance our relationship anymore at this stage because in many ways I'm still very much an AFC, and I don't want to escalate any possible LTR material until I'm fully prepared. If she has potential, and we are hanging out as friends, and my alpha maleness combined with an obvious ability to choose my woman shines through (as it happens when you're in the zone), then perhaps there is an option for escalating our relationship down the line. In the meanwhile, I'm going to continue to play the game and improve my position. As I've learned repeatedly out here in Seattle, every woman is single until she is married. Van Wilder quote:
This whole concept of "inner game" is really what is hitting me the most though. Why do men have problems with women? Because those men have problems with themselves. Most men and women have problems with themselves, but some men (serious AFCs) are so consumed with their problems on a subconscious level that they can't accept the fact that they deserve the best that the world has to offer. Intellectually, they can, but they are programmed internally to deny that notion. They think they ought to be doomed to mediocrity, no matter how well they do financially. I realize that I do want the best the world has to offer me, in terms of lifestyle, happiness, money, and women--and ultimately, my wife. But there's a part of me that just won't accept the fact that I deserve it. This is why I must study the inner game more.
So what's my plan of action? I'm going to continue The Game, get back to reading as much seduction material as I can on ASF and any books, read up more on NLP, and then practice hardcore and routinely. I'm hoping to go sarging on order of 3-4 nights per week, and I ultimately want to be sarging all the time without even thinking about it. I want to learn how to give a girl multiple orgasms through coitus. I want to learn how to get a girl to be attracted to me. I want to know exactly when a girl is attracted to me, and I want to get the best girlfriend possible for me. I also like the idea of convincing a girl that her giving me head is such a privilege that she has to ask my permission and beg me to let her. This is the ultimate aphrodisiac: power. I wouldn't use it for evil, for I am still a good man, but I do feel in the past I always wanted head, and girls gave it to me, but it wasn't a burning passion on their end. Nothing I did with them was.
I also have a physical problem in my right jaw known as temporomandibular joint disorder (TMD). Whenever I am under stress at work, it causes me to clench my teeth a lot even at rest, resulting in a constant band of pain around my forehead that makes me feel completely depressed. I need to get this fixed.
I will continue to work out regularly and get physically more appealing to women. I will get a nosejob and look better. I will buy more clothes to look better. Most importantly, I will study the game and practice it routinely. I want it to consume my life so much that I can't stop thinking about gaming. Ultimately, 6-12 months from now, I want it to be so internalized within me and so streamlined that I don't even think about it as gaming anymore, but really just having fun and adventures. I want my next LTR to be with a true sweetheart, and a hottie at that: 8 or above. She swallows, loves my alpha-ness, and needs sex regularly.
I really just want to be an attractive guy overall: girls want me, and guys want to be me. As Style says, the community members aren't in it just to get laid: they are doing it to be accepted. Lots of us AFCs never feel fully accepted by our peers for whatever reason (upbringing primarily), and this is only magnified by women and their innate ability to lose attraction to a man with depression or insecurities around women.
Will I succeed in my quest? I strongly suspect I will, as my instinct is telling me so.
Will I "win" the catalyst back, ultimately closing the loop of my life, perhaps even leading to a very fruitful LTR? Right now I hope this is exactly what happens 8 months or so from now. I think if I continue to practice and actually get laid (hence curing my one-itis), this will lead to a natural calming around her and will also increase my stock value to her (perceived value, that is). When she sees me picking up women as if picking up the newspaper, she will be so incredibly attracted to me that I have a strong suspicion that if she is not dating anyone at the time (or even if she is), she will ask me point-blank "why aren't you seducing me?" And, as my instincts are telling me right now, the choice will come back to me: will I want her then? Once I have the ability to get as many women as I'd like, will I still want this one girl? She's smart, fun, and hot, but can that alone sustain my interest? We shall see.
Right now I just need to continue to get over her, especially now that I know she has a boyfriend. At least I don't have to worry about sexual tension between us (I don't know if she ever felt any anyway). I will continue to be her friend as a possible LTR investment because she does indeed have some value, although I strongly believe she has some personal issues she should flesh out before she's ready for me.
Perhaps this is meant to happen? I must admit I feel completely happy around her, even though I've only kissed her once before feeling the wrath of her rejection. I think if I work out my personal problems through inner gaming and lots of practice in the field followed by waves of success, and if she works out her own issues, perhaps we'll realize that we're both ready for each other and this is what is meant to happen.
Although I've had problems sleeping this week because of work-stress and this recent news about her, I still am happy that this has all transpired, because it's giving me a very strong motivation to continue my work in this area and improve my game. Had I dated her way back when for a few months, ultimately resulting in her losing interest in my AFC-ness, I might never have learned about the community and how it could really improve my life.
I know that this is what is meant to happen, and I will trust in God's judgment and decision, however it may hurt me. So far it's been a great learning experience, and there is a LOT more to go. Good hunting.
Fortunately, I have some strong motivation: my catalyst has a new boyfriend, and I know him. He's a douchebag. But he has been studying the patterns of the community for well over a year now, and he is a bit of a natural, so he's got a huge advantage on me. I still don't think their personalities are compatible, so my AFC component is hoping they run their natural course of relationship and terminate.
Let me talk more about my catalyst again. We went out only on one real date--the second date was a complete disaster. It was OK at this point because I saw some flaws in her and didn't really think there was any connection between us. Then we met up a few times "as friends" and started to develop a reason to hang out together, which was cool. She didn't talk about who she was dating, and I didn't ask. Me being the AFC I am didn't mention the lack of girls I was banging. Anyway, we started having a really good time together as friends, which sparked the typical AFC desire to hook up with her. Men and women really cannot be friends unless they are married to others or they've already had sex.
I didn't try to advance our relationship anymore at this stage because in many ways I'm still very much an AFC, and I don't want to escalate any possible LTR material until I'm fully prepared. If she has potential, and we are hanging out as friends, and my alpha maleness combined with an obvious ability to choose my woman shines through (as it happens when you're in the zone), then perhaps there is an option for escalating our relationship down the line. In the meanwhile, I'm going to continue to play the game and improve my position. As I've learned repeatedly out here in Seattle, every woman is single until she is married. Van Wilder quote:
Taj: Doesn's she have a boyfriend?This does lead me to my next set of comments about the game. I continue to evaluate Style and understand that he really was coming from a similar place I was, and this is most strong when he meets up with the uber seductionists Steve P. and Rasputin. These two actually have the ability to have the girl pay the guy to give him oral sex. That's right: they will pay him so they can work on their skills. They take Style under their wing and work with his brain through very deep NLP, literally removing his fears of women and sexual rejection from his brain. I want to do this myself, and I want to do it for the common good, as it is very true that it can be used for pure evil.
Van Wilder: Details.
This whole concept of "inner game" is really what is hitting me the most though. Why do men have problems with women? Because those men have problems with themselves. Most men and women have problems with themselves, but some men (serious AFCs) are so consumed with their problems on a subconscious level that they can't accept the fact that they deserve the best that the world has to offer. Intellectually, they can, but they are programmed internally to deny that notion. They think they ought to be doomed to mediocrity, no matter how well they do financially. I realize that I do want the best the world has to offer me, in terms of lifestyle, happiness, money, and women--and ultimately, my wife. But there's a part of me that just won't accept the fact that I deserve it. This is why I must study the inner game more.
So what's my plan of action? I'm going to continue The Game, get back to reading as much seduction material as I can on ASF and any books, read up more on NLP, and then practice hardcore and routinely. I'm hoping to go sarging on order of 3-4 nights per week, and I ultimately want to be sarging all the time without even thinking about it. I want to learn how to give a girl multiple orgasms through coitus. I want to learn how to get a girl to be attracted to me. I want to know exactly when a girl is attracted to me, and I want to get the best girlfriend possible for me. I also like the idea of convincing a girl that her giving me head is such a privilege that she has to ask my permission and beg me to let her. This is the ultimate aphrodisiac: power. I wouldn't use it for evil, for I am still a good man, but I do feel in the past I always wanted head, and girls gave it to me, but it wasn't a burning passion on their end. Nothing I did with them was.
I also have a physical problem in my right jaw known as temporomandibular joint disorder (TMD). Whenever I am under stress at work, it causes me to clench my teeth a lot even at rest, resulting in a constant band of pain around my forehead that makes me feel completely depressed. I need to get this fixed.
I will continue to work out regularly and get physically more appealing to women. I will get a nosejob and look better. I will buy more clothes to look better. Most importantly, I will study the game and practice it routinely. I want it to consume my life so much that I can't stop thinking about gaming. Ultimately, 6-12 months from now, I want it to be so internalized within me and so streamlined that I don't even think about it as gaming anymore, but really just having fun and adventures. I want my next LTR to be with a true sweetheart, and a hottie at that: 8 or above. She swallows, loves my alpha-ness, and needs sex regularly.
I really just want to be an attractive guy overall: girls want me, and guys want to be me. As Style says, the community members aren't in it just to get laid: they are doing it to be accepted. Lots of us AFCs never feel fully accepted by our peers for whatever reason (upbringing primarily), and this is only magnified by women and their innate ability to lose attraction to a man with depression or insecurities around women.
Will I succeed in my quest? I strongly suspect I will, as my instinct is telling me so.
Will I "win" the catalyst back, ultimately closing the loop of my life, perhaps even leading to a very fruitful LTR? Right now I hope this is exactly what happens 8 months or so from now. I think if I continue to practice and actually get laid (hence curing my one-itis), this will lead to a natural calming around her and will also increase my stock value to her (perceived value, that is). When she sees me picking up women as if picking up the newspaper, she will be so incredibly attracted to me that I have a strong suspicion that if she is not dating anyone at the time (or even if she is), she will ask me point-blank "why aren't you seducing me?" And, as my instincts are telling me right now, the choice will come back to me: will I want her then? Once I have the ability to get as many women as I'd like, will I still want this one girl? She's smart, fun, and hot, but can that alone sustain my interest? We shall see.
Right now I just need to continue to get over her, especially now that I know she has a boyfriend. At least I don't have to worry about sexual tension between us (I don't know if she ever felt any anyway). I will continue to be her friend as a possible LTR investment because she does indeed have some value, although I strongly believe she has some personal issues she should flesh out before she's ready for me.
Perhaps this is meant to happen? I must admit I feel completely happy around her, even though I've only kissed her once before feeling the wrath of her rejection. I think if I work out my personal problems through inner gaming and lots of practice in the field followed by waves of success, and if she works out her own issues, perhaps we'll realize that we're both ready for each other and this is what is meant to happen.
Although I've had problems sleeping this week because of work-stress and this recent news about her, I still am happy that this has all transpired, because it's giving me a very strong motivation to continue my work in this area and improve my game. Had I dated her way back when for a few months, ultimately resulting in her losing interest in my AFC-ness, I might never have learned about the community and how it could really improve my life.
I know that this is what is meant to happen, and I will trust in God's judgment and decision, however it may hurt me. So far it's been a great learning experience, and there is a LOT more to go. Good hunting.
posted by Van Wilder @ 1:27 PM
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