Initial Reflections on AMP and Situation with LTR

I'm back from SF after haven taken the AMP, and it's really hard for me to describe what happened and how I feel now. I suppose the biggest takeaways for myself were that I need to be more real with myself and consequently others. I have lots of great friends, a good family, and a rockstar girlfriend who all think I'm amazing, but I don't tend to believe that myself. This has a reflection in serious self-doubt, which forces me to always check if everything I'm doing is good or OK or sufficient. This will control me the rest of my life so I need to face it now and here. I have some exercises for self-talk and I'm going to attempt some serious meditation, but I'm hopeful that I will achieve a solid point in my life. Ultimately I want to have the form of presence where I walk into a room and everyone's heads turn on me. Some day I intend to lead a company to do great things, and I want to have that form of charisma that really glows.

Over the weekend my girlfriend and I were on the brink of destruction: she felt I wanted to be a PUA too much and not be with her, and on Sunday a misunderstanding led to almost entire annihilation. I got back into Seattle and discussed everything with her, and now we feel closer than ever before. I don't have a "script" or a routine that I used on her, but I really was authentic with my feelings and promised to continue to improve. It also helped that she stumbled upon my blog and read it from back in summer 2005 to today. She saw in my own words that all I was searching for all this time was her. Now we are looking forward to our relationship together, and the connection, the romance, and the love is in the air. She's coming with me to DC this Christmas to meet my family too! And we are getting a puppy. :)

I'll continue to work on my own self-improvement, on my presence, and on my ability to be real with others. Fortunately for our relationship, that doesn't require sarging. It's a long road ahead but I'm excited to walk it.

Bottom line: be real with yourself and with others.

Back into San Francisco

I'm down in San Francisco right now with my boys Mango, Positive, and Rally. We're doing the Authentic Man Program (AMP) to work on our inner game, and it should be a great experience. I've heard great things about AMP so I am curious to see how I will change after this weekend. I'll keep you posted, O Blog.