Regression
Allow me to regress for a moment and rant.
It's so fucking unfair that we un-naturals and non-rich guys have to study so fucking hard to get the women we want. I see natural friends of mine who are dorkier than I am, yet they get girls left and right because "they're so cute." What the fuck man? I don't want to go down this path anymore. Why can't I just be me? Why can't I go out with the one girl who started it all? Why is it that no matter how many more girls I meet, I still can't find one that interests me as much as her? Why do I need to sleep with six women to forget her? Why does she have to have the most powerful eyes that continue to seduce me months after she's rejected me? Why does she have to be girlfriend to a guy I know who I personally don't like?
I know there is meaning to this all, but dammit I'm in physical pain right now and I'm cynical as a result. I know I have to go through this training to become a better man and bring out the best in me, but dammit it's not fair. I just want to be happy. I just want to be accepted. I just want to be loved and to love someone. I just want to be me! Goddammit, it's such a fucking simple principle. Guys are always supposed to date tons of women and have as much sex as possible, but it's not what I want! I just want one girl who's totally awesome and rocks my world. Unfortunately, the catalyst continues to pass all my internal tests. Why must God torture me? I know intellectually once I go through all this pain and training and become a damn good PUA, I will have the abilities to win her back if I wanted her, but right now I just want her to like me as much as she likes her new boyfriend. Why do I fixate on this girl? I think the community has only made life worse. I've never had thoughts like these before about one girl.
I don't just want someone to love me, I want her to love me.
This is so fucking pathetic. I can see how Mystery got so depressed numerous times. Those of us coming from more difficult backgrounds who just want to be accepted and happy have to try so much harder.
I am so fucking pathetic.
It's so fucking unfair that we un-naturals and non-rich guys have to study so fucking hard to get the women we want. I see natural friends of mine who are dorkier than I am, yet they get girls left and right because "they're so cute." What the fuck man? I don't want to go down this path anymore. Why can't I just be me? Why can't I go out with the one girl who started it all? Why is it that no matter how many more girls I meet, I still can't find one that interests me as much as her? Why do I need to sleep with six women to forget her? Why does she have to have the most powerful eyes that continue to seduce me months after she's rejected me? Why does she have to be girlfriend to a guy I know who I personally don't like?
I know there is meaning to this all, but dammit I'm in physical pain right now and I'm cynical as a result. I know I have to go through this training to become a better man and bring out the best in me, but dammit it's not fair. I just want to be happy. I just want to be accepted. I just want to be loved and to love someone. I just want to be me! Goddammit, it's such a fucking simple principle. Guys are always supposed to date tons of women and have as much sex as possible, but it's not what I want! I just want one girl who's totally awesome and rocks my world. Unfortunately, the catalyst continues to pass all my internal tests. Why must God torture me? I know intellectually once I go through all this pain and training and become a damn good PUA, I will have the abilities to win her back if I wanted her, but right now I just want her to like me as much as she likes her new boyfriend. Why do I fixate on this girl? I think the community has only made life worse. I've never had thoughts like these before about one girl.
I don't just want someone to love me, I want her to love me.
This is so fucking pathetic. I can see how Mystery got so depressed numerous times. Those of us coming from more difficult backgrounds who just want to be accepted and happy have to try so much harder.
I am so fucking pathetic.
posted by Van Wilder @ 12:09 PM
1 Comments:
At 2:01 AM,
Anonymous said…
I know exactly how you feel you bro. I am in the exact same predicament with a Church Girl. She doesn't have a boyfriend now, but if she gets one before I get a girlfriend, I am going to be majorly pissed off. Especially if the guy she picks is a dork. I going to want to kick his ass. Rejection really sucks when it is by someone who knows how great of a person you are and they still says no.
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