Book: How to Pick Up Girls

As I'm digging myself deeply into the list of recommended books in The Game, I am piling up a stack of paper that needs to be digested. I'm going to start taking offlines notes in a binder with appropriately tagged chapters, but I am also intending to briefly review books I am reading and then report my successes on this blog. The funny thing I've noticed so far is that there is a lot of conflicting material out there (some books say "buy her a drink!" while PUAs say "never supplicate!"; some books say "compliment her" while DeAngelo says "tease the hell out of her"). After you've become really successful at dating correctly, it doesn't really matter what you say because you have built yourself into a fun and confident person.

Anyway, I'm reading Eric Weber's classic How To Pick Up Girls, originally written in 1970 and referenced right at the end of The Game. Weber's book is considered the first true book on the subject and claims over 3 million copies in print in however many languages. Weber successfully picked up his wife by blocking her passage in a bar, saying "You're way too pretty to let get away." She said "Do you think?" and they have essentially been together ever since.

The book claims it will turn you into a truely confident and outgoing person who others are naturally drawn towards. This is noble because I don't trust any book saying only "We're going to turn you into a dating machine!" (mentioned in another book on my list)

So how does it do? It contains the necessary material to successfully open girls but I would not say it succeeds teaching you how to pick up girls. Most chapters are filled with openers and reminders about the theory of this all. The book contains clippings from the "Fabulous Fifty", a set of beautiful women who provide their insights on pickup. Where do they like getting picked up? Everywhere. When do they like getting picked up? Anytime. What type of approaches creep them out? They all disagree (some like C+F, some like flat out honesty, etc.)

The book does regularly remind you of some of the basic laws of pickup that you really need to believe and follow. Such examples:

• All girls want to get picked up, even if they have a boyfriend (this is a confirmed tenet of seduction: everyone wants to be seduced)
• As a guy, you're going to have to make opportunities for yourself. (exceptions: incredibly high social proof or perceived value, such as being Steve Jobs walking into a party in San Francisco or being a super hot or ripped guy who girls are drooling after)
• Want to meet more women? Meet more people. This one is very true and I find myself failing this in recent history. I have been spending so much time focusing on women that I forgot I should be chatting up men just as much. I do like talking to men, but men can't get my juices flowing. So I've noticed myself avoiding hanging out with only guys or talking to guys at bars because I would only want to focus on the women. I will try harder to abide by this law because I have seen it work in action as well as reported by Style in the Game. (lead the men and the women will follow you) It does reinforce the point that you want to be perceived as a cool, confident, and fun guy, and this will naturally make you more appealing to women.
• All humans like to be touched by other humans. Read: kino! Touch her softly on her cheek, or brush her shoulder after you feel her hair. This is a fundamental rule of pickup and boy does it work!
• Next time you move in on a girl, think to yourself, "I'm doing her a favor. I'm about to bring a little excitement and drama and romance into her life."
  

While the book lays out a ton of opening routines and nuggets of wisdom like above, it fails at outlining overall strategies for the pickup itself once you are engaged. PUAs train to demonstrate high value by telling stories (me) or performing tricks (Mystery), and this is essential in your pickup routine. My major problem is no longer opening up women: I can usually generate some opening line or find a way to get their attention, but I consciously find myself running out of things to say during the conversation to the point where I choke up and decide to bail out. Unless a girl is really interested in your stories or initial material, she will probably want to get back with her friends or the party. So get her number!

Unfortunately this is a big problem for most RAFCs: the confidence to ask for a number without fear of rejection. I admit that I have never asked for a girl's number during a pickup routine thus far, even when it was obvious the girl was interested (kino, IOIs, etc.). I am always worried I will say "so can I call you sometime?" and they will say "ugg I have a boyfriend" or flat out, "eh, I'd prefer not." Or perhaps the worst possible flavor: the fake number. All girls have fake numbers they use on guys, and while confidence is boosted when you get a number, it is typically destroyed when you find out she faked you.

So while this book does provide a lot of important common sense reminders for the reader to enjoy, it doesn't provide any material for the follow-through (read: close). Follow-through is most important in pickup, "just like in life, ha ha ha." (Kate Hepburn, The Aviator) Without any follow-through material most guys who severely lack self-confidence (me) are going to freeze up after the conversation runs stale.

The book is good overall, but if you want some seriously insightful material, remember the basics (even the ones I have listed above) and save yourself the $15.