FR: Senior Week, Night 1

So I'm back at my alma mater for its senior week and my friends are asking me to open sets to show off my PUA skills. The first two venues are packed past the point of fire safety codes and the volumes are so loud I have to scream to my friends. I freeze up since I can't think of any opener to use. So we move on to the next place, a casino night, and I start opening a few sets.

I'm decked out in my peacocking gear consisting of a cool Gap jacket ($30), a really cool cowboy hat ($25), and a cheap pair of aviator sunglasses that look great on me ($20). Some asshole starts busting on my hat, trying to piss me off but he has no funny routines to run. I, the PUA, am prepared to AMOG this prick and fire off to his friend, "hey this guy reminds me of my substitute teacher. You know the guy who comes in when the hot girl is sick and he doesn't know what he's doing". The friend laughs his ass off and I do some friendly kino to him (guy kino, you know, bonding shit). The asshole asks where my hat was made, did I buy it in a store, and I say yes, where do you think I bought it? Great question on his end, so I fire back another AMOG to his friend: "hey is this guy always like this? How do you roll with him?" The friend laughs again and says I dunno. So I prepare to fire off my final AMOG when I say "hey nice sweater." Then his friend comes in and completes my AMOG, "yeah his grandma made it for him." The asshole says "Dude you're helping him out!" I laugh and walk away, having won the set.

I head into the main room and pass by a 3-set of drunken college chicks when HB7 (face), HB6 (body) walks up to me and says she loves my hat. We jump to immediate kino and she's all over me, feeling me up and I return the kino. My wing starts busting on her and her friend, I run a few banter lines ("you guys are trouble, I should get a note from my mommy before I hang out with you"). I run the best friends test, they pass, and I try to C&F them but they are so drunk that it doesn't really matter at this point. I'm not entirely sure how to handle drunk chicks, so I feel powerless when my routines fail. I get really close to her, we're stroking each other's bodies, and we're about 1 inch from kissing. I'm a little shocked since this set went so well without any effort, so I can't remember the best way to kiss her. Of course all I need to do is run the Mystery Kiss Close, but I forget to do this and the second I remember it, her roommate comes in and says they need to go. I was successfully cockblocked and I didn't know how to handle her, so I lost the set.

Then on the way home, I run into a 2-set (also entirely drunk) of HB7 and HB8. The HB8 has those light sticks from the casino night, so I grab one and say "on guard!" We start doing a jedi light saber fight and are whipping each other when her friend HB7 interrupts and tells me to stop harassing her friend. I return that we're just having fun and calm down. She continues to harass and I turn to HB8, "hey is this girl always like this? How do you roll with her?" HB7 is pissed and continues to wax angry, saying she's going to call the police. I laugh and say whatever, you've got nothing on me. I run a few negs on her but she's so angry and drunk that she doesn't pay attention. After a few minutes, HB8 starts crying because HB7 keeps on the phone calling the police.

I walk away when a cop car shows up. The cop gets out and asks me to stop and talk, and we start into a conversation. He runs a power trip on me but I calmly return I'm perfectly sober and that this girl is annoying me. I tell him what happened and he talks to HB7 who called; HB8 is totally in tears at this point. The cop comes back and I say that these girls are drunk and need to go home, and that I was not harassing anyone but I'm not going to stand for this immature behavior. He says yeah, "fuck 'em" and they're drunk, so he says have a good night.

We get to the pizza place on the way home when the asshole from earlier and his friend show up. I try to be cool and say "hey what's up Webster?" (he looked like a tall, Indian version of Webster) My friend gets super pissed that this guy was talking shit and the pizza guy asks us to leave so we don't get into a fight. We get outside and wait for a few minutes when they come out, and the friend throws down his pizza and says he wants to fight my friend. An independent friend rolls in and says we should all calm down and not get into a fight. My friend is HUGE and would have ripped this guy's head off, but he's applying to med schools next year so I don't want his record hurt. We eject and I warn the Indian jerk to shut the hell up and keep it down unless he wants his ass kicked.

Now I'm back at home typing up this FR. What I learned tonight:

• I have 0 game in super loud environments.
• You must befriend her friends, even if she is all over you. I failed to do this because I was so caught up in kino with the girl.
  
• My routines don't work on drunk girls.
• Drunk girls don't understand banter.
• It is possible that some girls don't understand banter at all and rely entirely on their looks.
• Use the Mystery Kiss Close whenever you're in a drunk set.

Have a good night. Tomorrow is day game.