Remember the lesson of Sweater
I've been out of actively sarging for a while now, since I'm still adjusting to my new job and working crazy hours. But slowly the matrix is starting to return in those few moments when I do get a chance to sarge, and I wanted to spread some relationship advice I've picked up in the last year or so. Read David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man for more great advice on relationships.
All relationships, either with your girlfriend or an old male friend, are governed by power struggles. But male-female relationships are especially grounded by power struggles. When you first meet your next girlfriend, you are putting yourself into a frame of how she views you. DQ'ing yourself can help her reframe you in her mind, but if you meet her as an alpha PUA and you decide, much like "Sweater" in The Game, that you should revert to your ways and "be yourself" as an AFC, you will ultimately lose attraction in her eyes since you are not what she first met. She met this great guy who exudes confidence and attracts women easily and can take care of her.
The reason I tell this story is because a great friend of mine in Seattle had this happen to him. Back in February he met this wonderful girl who was literally begging him to sleep with her that night. She qualified herself to him daily; she begged him to make her his girlfriend. She would do anything to be with him. Like Sweater, he abandoned his PUA ways and decided to be the normal AFC kind of guy, caring for her, being emotional, etc. Essentially, all the crap that feminism has done to Western males that completely destroys masculinity. She lost attraction to him, and not physical attraction -- she still shagged him to the last day. But she was no longer emotionally attracted to him, yet she couldn't explain why. Their last day, they screwed, then he cried for an hour while she was getting ready to leave. She didn't shed a tear. Over the course of their relationship, which lasted I think four months, he allowed himself to become what she thought was most attractive -- a really nice guy.
Now he's doing much better, he's out in the field all the time, and he tells me that women are starting to throw themselves at him again. And as he told me sternly on the phone last night, never again will he allow himself to become that sensitive nice guy. He's going to be nice, but alpha nice, from here on out.
Fortunately, he's a good looking guy with a great job, and since he is a man, he will actually become more attractive as he ages. Her loss.
Anyway, the lesson is to internalize the game so that you don't have to think about this struggle issue anymore. Once you become that confident PUA, it should be who you are -- not someone you are trying to be. So many PUAs have fallen victim to this, so I hope you can take this lesson and understand it as well.
By the way, VW is back. :-)
All relationships, either with your girlfriend or an old male friend, are governed by power struggles. But male-female relationships are especially grounded by power struggles. When you first meet your next girlfriend, you are putting yourself into a frame of how she views you. DQ'ing yourself can help her reframe you in her mind, but if you meet her as an alpha PUA and you decide, much like "Sweater" in The Game, that you should revert to your ways and "be yourself" as an AFC, you will ultimately lose attraction in her eyes since you are not what she first met. She met this great guy who exudes confidence and attracts women easily and can take care of her.
The reason I tell this story is because a great friend of mine in Seattle had this happen to him. Back in February he met this wonderful girl who was literally begging him to sleep with her that night. She qualified herself to him daily; she begged him to make her his girlfriend. She would do anything to be with him. Like Sweater, he abandoned his PUA ways and decided to be the normal AFC kind of guy, caring for her, being emotional, etc. Essentially, all the crap that feminism has done to Western males that completely destroys masculinity. She lost attraction to him, and not physical attraction -- she still shagged him to the last day. But she was no longer emotionally attracted to him, yet she couldn't explain why. Their last day, they screwed, then he cried for an hour while she was getting ready to leave. She didn't shed a tear. Over the course of their relationship, which lasted I think four months, he allowed himself to become what she thought was most attractive -- a really nice guy.
Now he's doing much better, he's out in the field all the time, and he tells me that women are starting to throw themselves at him again. And as he told me sternly on the phone last night, never again will he allow himself to become that sensitive nice guy. He's going to be nice, but alpha nice, from here on out.
Fortunately, he's a good looking guy with a great job, and since he is a man, he will actually become more attractive as he ages. Her loss.
Anyway, the lesson is to internalize the game so that you don't have to think about this struggle issue anymore. Once you become that confident PUA, it should be who you are -- not someone you are trying to be. So many PUAs have fallen victim to this, so I hope you can take this lesson and understand it as well.
By the way, VW is back. :-)
posted by Van Wilder @ 10:21 PM
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