Try Harder!

I've been flirting madly with numerous girls but I still can't get over her. Dammit! What was the purpose of all this? Why did it feel so right, and my instincts were telling me she was perfect for me, yet apparently they were so wrong? It seems every situation we had where there was an opportunity for something amazing, something else came along and interrupted it. Of course she has plowed straight ahead without looking back, yet here I am sulking each day. I'm usually fine by night, but by day I'm miserable as a result.

I have to remember to stay the course and keep fighting. I wasn't ready for a real relationship back then, as I was a total AFC. There was some chemistry between us, but she's got problems as well that need to be resolved. Maybe a few months from now after I've seduced a few more girls, I will be better and can look at it all with a fresh perspective. It's killing me getting there. I just can't believe I felt so strongly about this yet she apparently felt nothing.

Maybe the real problem here is that I don't love myself, and you can't really love someone else until you love yourself. How do I love myself though? I hate myself! I don't want to, but I am just disappointed at how I turned out.