First Times

Remember that first times are difficult and you will invariably screw up when you do have a first time. By "first time" I don't necessarily mean getting laid, although that is an important first. Rather, I am refering to the first times situation X presents itself. I've noticed myself handling these "first time" situations with ladies accurately about 40% of the time. So during the majority of cases, I end up fucking up, making a small mental note that "next time" this occurs, I'll know what to do.

For example: I was out at the bar the other night with friends. It was packed. I saw a table of women, one of which had a bride's cap on (whatever those are called--what a bride wears at a marriage). I chatted them up, asking (dumbly) if this was a bachelorette party. The bachelorette, with her nice D's, promptly shows me her T-shirt with the word BACHELORETTE written on it. She's got a great smile and I offer to buy her a drink in congratulations. (note: this was not supplication; this was me just being nice on the spot--there was no goal a priori of getting with her) When I return the drink, she has me sit down and I start chatting with them. Apparently she's getting married next week but she wants to have one last lay before she goes to Hawaii to get the big ring. She asks me if I can find her a condom, so I naively get up and ask one of my buddies for one. I find one and present it to her, say a few more congratulations, and say farewell to the group. Afterward, in debriefing with my boys, they said "you idiot! She asked you to get a condom because she wanted you to sleep with her!" Idiot!

So what do you think, readers? I'm not entirely sure she was pitching the idea of sex with her to me, but if I ever encounter that situation again, I know what I will say: "so who is the lucky guy? Not your fiance--the guy who gets you tonight. :-)" Hopefully she would respond "I'm not sure yet" to which I could reply, "Well let me know if you need a strapping young man to fill the position (wink)"

This may be a bad example because it will occur so rarely, but it's still an area where I should have reacted faster. I broke one of the laws: don't drink much when you go out. This is a rule for numerous reasons:

1. drinking in bars in America is expensive as hell nowadays
2. drinking, while reducing your inhibitions, also reduces your ability to think fast
3. drinking makes it very difficult to take a girl back to her place (remember that) in your car and bang the shit out of her (you should take her back to her place so you can easily leave)
   
4. you need to have the girl buy you a drink -- that's hot! The best PUAs usually get 3-4 drinks per night on the girls' tab. This is the 21st century: if possible, make the girl pay for everything.

Back to studying... you can see I have problems focusing on the site because I want to keep postulating right here.