Chivalry is Dead
Hello world. My name is Van Wilder, and I have started this blog after having successfully started down the path of a player. My real name is not Van Wilder, and in case you aren't familiar with the wonderful selection of films available from National Lampoon's, "Van Wilder" is the name of the main character in the 2002 cult classic film Van Wilder. I find his character an inspiration for my new behavior, although I must admit that most credit must be given to the great people at ASF who compiled years' worth of research on the subject of playing.
So why this blog? What am I trying to accomplish? Simply, I'm trying to make my life a lot better, using women as the measure of success. I'm a white male, working in a medium sized metropolitan city, making a far-above-average salary in a very respectable company. I graduated from yet another highly respected university last year in a highly respected major, earning a highly respectable GPA. As you can tell, I'm proud of my accomplishments, but let me comment on this right now.
In general, I dislike talking to people who praise themselves nonstop. People who are always saying about how many people they've hooked up with, or how great their car is, or how fantastic they are at something. These people all have an insecurity with something, which is why they feel the need to boost their self-confidence to everyone in sight. I've done this a lot in the past when I was suffering from pretty hard-core depression, and it not only doesn't work, it also comes off badly to those who are listening.
But for the purpose of this blog, I am going to be bragging a lot. I will be praising my accomplishments regularly not because I am insecure about something (actually that's the entire point of this journey: to destroy this insecurity), but because I want people who are reading this to know that they, too, can accomplish what I've accomplished. So get ready to hear about each of my "conquests," as a female friend of mine put.
So again, why does this blog exist? First we must understand why I intend to go down the path of a player. As you can see from above, I'm pretty well set for a 24 year-old male: great job, good car, great education, etc. But one thing I've lacked over the years is assertiveness, confidence, and seduction skills. For most of my life I've been passive to everything, always willing to concede to other peoples' wills rather than standing up for myself. Actually, most of the time I never knew exactly what it was I wanted, so how could I stand up for myself? This connects to deep psychological issues triggered by events in my youth over which I had little control.
But over the past few months I've started to get better and focus on who I am and what I want. And part of this involves women. For all of my years dating women (since I was 18, I guess, so six years now), I've always been of the passive, cute puppy mentality: if I'm just a nice guy, I'll get girls. I felt I was at the mercy of women, completely under their control, and if I was really lucky, I would get lucky. (funny how those two are connected) Rather than targeting a woman like a predator pouncing on his prey, I would stroll around aloof to the game of life, awaiting for just the right opportunity for a woman who interests me, and then hoping to somehow charm her.
This doesn't sound that bad, does it? I saw movies like Back to the Future where the geeky guy gets the great girl, and he doesn't really think about it much. It just happens (with the help of his future son, of course). People always say "it will just happen" or "some day it will all come together." They say, "Just be yourself and you will find the right one."
Well I'm hear to say that's all bullshit.
All of it.
Oh, you do need to be yourself, but you need to be the best at what you have to offer. You need to figure out what it is about you that makes you great and flaunt it. Women with great breasts have no issues with showing cleavage out at the bars, do they? Women with amazing bodies have no qualms with wearing a tight outfit and loads of makeup to attract males. So you need to do the same.
But back to the bullshit: you can't be passive about this shit. You need to be pro-active, gunning for exactly what it is you want in your life. You figure out what's important to you and you drive towards it, and you'll turn into what women are attracted to: the alpha males. That's right, everything boils down to our basic survival instincts, including reproduction. No female is willingly going to seek a passive-beta male that has no control over his life. Not only does this make for a boring relationship, it also creates an inherently weak defender of the offspring.
I could go on all day about the strategies listed on ASF--easily the best resource for someone who wants to become a player. Rather than enumerating them again here, I'm going to detail exactly what I've done and how the results have been.
It's a bit of a shame, though, that I've had to resort to the study of the "player." Players have negative connotations among most men because guys who actually care for women don't like seeing men using them like toys. However, there is also a bit of jealousy in each of these men because those men are so impressed by the players' ability to manipulate their prey.
I didn't want it to come to this, but I'm afraid it has, and it is consuming me. I no longer view each woman as a possible wife, or someone with whom I could have a great relationship. Rather, I see each one as a new challenge; a new target; a new conquest. This, essentially, downgrades women back to their original state as "objects" rather than simply other "humans." But hey, I tried being a nice guy, treating a woman like a queen, putting her up on a pedestal, worshipping her as that pathetic nice guy I once was. You know where it got me? A few relationships with women that were ultimately unfulfilling and highly depressing, only hurting my self-esteem more.
Even with what little work I've done moving towards a real player, I already feel several times more attractive, confident, and happy with life. The best part, of course, is that this mentality affects all other parts of your life. If you're a take-charge kind of guy, you'll always get what you want, including lots of women.
Again, I didn't want to have to do this, but I'm afraid it had to happen. Each girl I met that I really liked would inevitably not like me, or even if she had a slight interest, I would always screw things up by acting so insecure around her. This happened to me numerous times over the years, and in some of the cases I scored relationships, often by being a good friend turned into a boyfriend (BAD idea! Do NOT do this). One old girlfriend even once said that I finally won her over simply by being so persistent. That relationship was ultimately unfulfilling as well. God, I feel depressed even thinking about those relationships.
But no more--the time has come to change things. I realized this a few months ago when I was set up on a very casual group "blind date" sort of event with a friend's cousin. I instantly felt something powerful with this girl, and even she was the one to initiate a first date. I was somewhat nervous and definitely not being myself, although somehow I did manage to score a kiss at the end. A week later, of course, she came to her senses and started treating me like garbage, realizing how depressing I was. Then I had a second date with her a few weeks later, and that pretty much ended it all there. Because she rejected me, I was even more attracted to her (as usual). I thought about her all the time, and even getting an e-mail from her would make me smile, even though I knew she had no interest and was probably hooking up with other guys. Then a good friend of mine on my team introduced me to the ASF world, and I started into my study program. I realized what an AFC I was, and how I am now an RAFC who is happily spending time studying the art form behind this. While I was suffering from "one-itis" with this new girl, I was recovering by understanding that it truly is she who is missing out on me. I've got the potential for greatness, I've got the great life, and I've got the great package below my belt. :-) Perhaps I'll win her over again some day, but for now I'm going to target every hot girl I see on the street.
So that's how this all got started. Sorry for writing this so long and without much structure. This is meant as an online diary from me to you, O readers. Don't look for the best constructed sentences in this blog, and don't look for Pulitzer material either. I'm writing this stuff as it comes, so if you're interested and want to become a player, keep reading.
Why "Chivalry Lost"? Because that code of chivalry under which I was programmed: treat women like queens, be a nice guy, do the right thing, be considerate--in short, chivalry--was complete bullshit from the beginning but no one ever told me. I don't know how I was programmed into that mentality, but it has brought me nothing but unhappiness. So, as a result of losing my old self and heading down the path of PUA, my chivalry is lost (or will be!).
I hope you enjoy my stories. This is Van Wilder, signing off.
So why this blog? What am I trying to accomplish? Simply, I'm trying to make my life a lot better, using women as the measure of success. I'm a white male, working in a medium sized metropolitan city, making a far-above-average salary in a very respectable company. I graduated from yet another highly respected university last year in a highly respected major, earning a highly respectable GPA. As you can tell, I'm proud of my accomplishments, but let me comment on this right now.
In general, I dislike talking to people who praise themselves nonstop. People who are always saying about how many people they've hooked up with, or how great their car is, or how fantastic they are at something. These people all have an insecurity with something, which is why they feel the need to boost their self-confidence to everyone in sight. I've done this a lot in the past when I was suffering from pretty hard-core depression, and it not only doesn't work, it also comes off badly to those who are listening.
But for the purpose of this blog, I am going to be bragging a lot. I will be praising my accomplishments regularly not because I am insecure about something (actually that's the entire point of this journey: to destroy this insecurity), but because I want people who are reading this to know that they, too, can accomplish what I've accomplished. So get ready to hear about each of my "conquests," as a female friend of mine put.
So again, why does this blog exist? First we must understand why I intend to go down the path of a player. As you can see from above, I'm pretty well set for a 24 year-old male: great job, good car, great education, etc. But one thing I've lacked over the years is assertiveness, confidence, and seduction skills. For most of my life I've been passive to everything, always willing to concede to other peoples' wills rather than standing up for myself. Actually, most of the time I never knew exactly what it was I wanted, so how could I stand up for myself? This connects to deep psychological issues triggered by events in my youth over which I had little control.
But over the past few months I've started to get better and focus on who I am and what I want. And part of this involves women. For all of my years dating women (since I was 18, I guess, so six years now), I've always been of the passive, cute puppy mentality: if I'm just a nice guy, I'll get girls. I felt I was at the mercy of women, completely under their control, and if I was really lucky, I would get lucky. (funny how those two are connected) Rather than targeting a woman like a predator pouncing on his prey, I would stroll around aloof to the game of life, awaiting for just the right opportunity for a woman who interests me, and then hoping to somehow charm her.
This doesn't sound that bad, does it? I saw movies like Back to the Future where the geeky guy gets the great girl, and he doesn't really think about it much. It just happens (with the help of his future son, of course). People always say "it will just happen" or "some day it will all come together." They say, "Just be yourself and you will find the right one."
Well I'm hear to say that's all bullshit.
All of it.
Oh, you do need to be yourself, but you need to be the best at what you have to offer. You need to figure out what it is about you that makes you great and flaunt it. Women with great breasts have no issues with showing cleavage out at the bars, do they? Women with amazing bodies have no qualms with wearing a tight outfit and loads of makeup to attract males. So you need to do the same.
But back to the bullshit: you can't be passive about this shit. You need to be pro-active, gunning for exactly what it is you want in your life. You figure out what's important to you and you drive towards it, and you'll turn into what women are attracted to: the alpha males. That's right, everything boils down to our basic survival instincts, including reproduction. No female is willingly going to seek a passive-beta male that has no control over his life. Not only does this make for a boring relationship, it also creates an inherently weak defender of the offspring.
I could go on all day about the strategies listed on ASF--easily the best resource for someone who wants to become a player. Rather than enumerating them again here, I'm going to detail exactly what I've done and how the results have been.
It's a bit of a shame, though, that I've had to resort to the study of the "player." Players have negative connotations among most men because guys who actually care for women don't like seeing men using them like toys. However, there is also a bit of jealousy in each of these men because those men are so impressed by the players' ability to manipulate their prey.
I didn't want it to come to this, but I'm afraid it has, and it is consuming me. I no longer view each woman as a possible wife, or someone with whom I could have a great relationship. Rather, I see each one as a new challenge; a new target; a new conquest. This, essentially, downgrades women back to their original state as "objects" rather than simply other "humans." But hey, I tried being a nice guy, treating a woman like a queen, putting her up on a pedestal, worshipping her as that pathetic nice guy I once was. You know where it got me? A few relationships with women that were ultimately unfulfilling and highly depressing, only hurting my self-esteem more.
Even with what little work I've done moving towards a real player, I already feel several times more attractive, confident, and happy with life. The best part, of course, is that this mentality affects all other parts of your life. If you're a take-charge kind of guy, you'll always get what you want, including lots of women.
Again, I didn't want to have to do this, but I'm afraid it had to happen. Each girl I met that I really liked would inevitably not like me, or even if she had a slight interest, I would always screw things up by acting so insecure around her. This happened to me numerous times over the years, and in some of the cases I scored relationships, often by being a good friend turned into a boyfriend (BAD idea! Do NOT do this). One old girlfriend even once said that I finally won her over simply by being so persistent. That relationship was ultimately unfulfilling as well. God, I feel depressed even thinking about those relationships.
But no more--the time has come to change things. I realized this a few months ago when I was set up on a very casual group "blind date" sort of event with a friend's cousin. I instantly felt something powerful with this girl, and even she was the one to initiate a first date. I was somewhat nervous and definitely not being myself, although somehow I did manage to score a kiss at the end. A week later, of course, she came to her senses and started treating me like garbage, realizing how depressing I was. Then I had a second date with her a few weeks later, and that pretty much ended it all there. Because she rejected me, I was even more attracted to her (as usual). I thought about her all the time, and even getting an e-mail from her would make me smile, even though I knew she had no interest and was probably hooking up with other guys. Then a good friend of mine on my team introduced me to the ASF world, and I started into my study program. I realized what an AFC I was, and how I am now an RAFC who is happily spending time studying the art form behind this. While I was suffering from "one-itis" with this new girl, I was recovering by understanding that it truly is she who is missing out on me. I've got the potential for greatness, I've got the great life, and I've got the great package below my belt. :-) Perhaps I'll win her over again some day, but for now I'm going to target every hot girl I see on the street.
So that's how this all got started. Sorry for writing this so long and without much structure. This is meant as an online diary from me to you, O readers. Don't look for the best constructed sentences in this blog, and don't look for Pulitzer material either. I'm writing this stuff as it comes, so if you're interested and want to become a player, keep reading.
Why "Chivalry Lost"? Because that code of chivalry under which I was programmed: treat women like queens, be a nice guy, do the right thing, be considerate--in short, chivalry--was complete bullshit from the beginning but no one ever told me. I don't know how I was programmed into that mentality, but it has brought me nothing but unhappiness. So, as a result of losing my old self and heading down the path of PUA, my chivalry is lost (or will be!).
I hope you enjoy my stories. This is Van Wilder, signing off.
posted by Van Wilder @ 11:23 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home