Chivalry Lost

When it Rains, It Pours...

2007-11-30T00:22:00.000-08:00

And I just started to feel some drizzle. :)

After months of being completely out of the game, focused only on work, 100-hour weeks and all, I'm finally back in the field and making some pretty huge progress. It's been two weeks since my Charm School and I already had an f-close in London last weekend, "Hi, I'm VW" opener on lots of sets including a seated 6-set of salty British blondes, a date lined up for the weekend with a sexy CEO of a nearby startup (I was in SOA city!), and a girl who texted me back... two weeks after I met her, and told her I was gone for two weeks. This last one I am most excited about: in the community I had always been programmed to think if you don't pursue and game her within a few days, she's going to forget you. But they were wrong: if you can build a strong enough connection with a girl, she will remember you. Dan was teasing me in my workshop about how I was so shocked that being myself, being genuine, and being a good guy could be very attractive, and literally in under two weeks I'm already seeing results. Wow, where will I be in a few months after more practice?

Yeah, Juggler's Method definitely is starting to rock my reality, and I've only hit the tip of the iceberg.

A New Reality

2007-11-19T10:26:00.000-08:00

New job, new city, new goal: find something interesting about everyone and appreciate them for it.

I am now a crack dealer of charisma.

As Dimitri says:

It absolutely doesn't matter how interesting I am to a woman. What matters is how interesting she is to me. She has to be interesting enough to deserve my attention, and yet I am a gentleman enough to help her show herself to me in the best possible way.

The rules of the game have just changed...

Remember the lesson of Sweater

2007-10-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

I've been out of actively sarging for a while now, since I'm still adjusting to my new job and working crazy hours. But slowly the matrix is starting to return in those few moments when I do get a chance to sarge, and I wanted to spread some relationship advice I've picked up in the last year or so. Read David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man for more great advice on relationships.

All relationships, either with your girlfriend or an old male friend, are governed by power struggles. But male-female relationships are especially grounded by power struggles. When you first meet your next girlfriend, you are putting yourself into a frame of how she views you. DQ'ing yourself can help her reframe you in her mind, but if you meet her as an alpha PUA and you decide, much like "Sweater" in The Game, that you should revert to your ways and "be yourself" as an AFC, you will ultimately lose attraction in her eyes since you are not what she first met. She met this great guy who exudes confidence and attracts women easily and can take care of her.

The reason I tell this story is because a great friend of mine in Seattle had this happen to him. Back in February he met this wonderful girl who was literally begging him to sleep with her that night. She qualified herself to him daily; she begged him to make her his girlfriend. She would do anything to be with him. Like Sweater, he abandoned his PUA ways and decided to be the normal AFC kind of guy, caring for her, being emotional, etc. Essentially, all the crap that feminism has done to Western males that completely destroys masculinity. She lost attraction to him, and not physical attraction -- she still shagged him to the last day. But she was no longer emotionally attracted to him, yet she couldn't explain why. Their last day, they screwed, then he cried for an hour while she was getting ready to leave. She didn't shed a tear. Over the course of their relationship, which lasted I think four months, he allowed himself to become what she thought was most attractive -- a really nice guy.

Now he's doing much better, he's out in the field all the time, and he tells me that women are starting to throw themselves at him again. And as he told me sternly on the phone last night, never again will he allow himself to become that sensitive nice guy. He's going to be nice, but alpha nice, from here on out.

Fortunately, he's a good looking guy with a great job, and since he is a man, he will actually become more attractive as he ages. Her loss.

Anyway, the lesson is to internalize the game so that you don't have to think about this struggle issue anymore. Once you become that confident PUA, it should be who you are -- not someone you are trying to be. So many PUAs have fallen victim to this, so I hope you can take this lesson and understand it as well.

By the way, VW is back. :-)

Aside: Don't See Van Wilder 2 (Rise of Taj)

2007-04-07T23:09:00.000-07:00

I chose the handle Van Wilder because the character, portrayed by Ryan Reynolds, was a charming, sociable, lady-loving guy that every coed wanted with and every guy wanted to be. Tonight I saw Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj. It sucks. Not nearly as funny as VW #1, which I still hurt laughing each viewing. So if you are given the chance to see it or pretty much anything else, go for anything else.

On Being a Bald PUA

2007-03-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

I'm bald. Or balding. However you want to call it, I've been losing my hair since I was 21 and eventually I'll have a very shiny dome over my head (unless they perfect hair cloning within a few years). When I first moved to Seattle in 2004, I decided to shave my hair down completely to a nice smooth touch. It turned out this was a bad idea as I'm a big tall white guy with a very large head, so the sheer amount of surface area made me look like a glowing beacon at night. Easy to spot, but not as stylish as I would have liked.

There are two proper ways to treat this if you are like me: pale white skin but losing your hair and concerned about it. You can either shave it completely down and tan your skin regularly (I prefer using spray tan if possible over tanning beds as us pale freckled blue-eyed folk are highly susceptible to skin cancer). This is what Neil Strauss did in The Game, and it does look pretty hot if your personality and confidence can support it. Throw in a solid body (lean and strong) and you're a very attractive man physically.

The problem with this style for me is maintenance. You will need to shave your head with a razor at best every other day, and you will need to regularly spray tan your head or re-tan in a booth if you lose your tan quickly. With the spray tan, you will also have to worry about timing since the spray tan takes several hours to fully stick to your skin, and if you apply it at 8 PM on a Friday night, you will most likely drip in the field and soil your nice pillow on your bed.

Whatever you do, don't just shave your hair down completely with a razor and leave it at that. If you have darker skin, you can pull it off, but I went months with a shaved head and no woman told me how out of style that particular look is.

The better solution is to use an electric razor with around a 1.5mm height setting/clip. You can shave every other day normally and still have a Bruce Willis short-hair-but-hot look. This is much easier to maintain with cutting times under a couple of minutes, it's much more stylish and popular with the ladies, and it provides much more definition to your head. I was out the other night with my LTR, who took a picture of me and a buddy at a bar in Belltown. We were chilling on a couch and I was sporting my delightful purple velvet jacket, looking out to the crowd, and quite frankly we looked like we were in a liquor advertisement. The short hair gave so much more character to my head, whereas cleanly shaven hair would have taken away that definition and looked more like a blank spot on the picture where the camera flash washed out any features.

This solution is best for me because I like having a simple life. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Or both.

But why does this matter, you ask? Strong enough confidence should be all that matters, right? Holding your frame and being the better man is more important than how you look, yes? Well, yes and no. Perception is everything in the field and in life. Your first impressions with girls are so important for your later interactions with them. In those first few seconds and minutes they are going to be attracted to you or not, and while confidence is ultimately the most important tool in your arsenal, your looks are important as well during the first meeting and the later interactions. Imagine you are a stylish girl and are looking for a boyfriend: you want someone who is going to look good all the time for when you are him around to your friends and family.

(begin tangent)
This extends to all areas of your life. If you work in a corporate environment, dressing very well always looks better to others (this includes those of you who work at technical/IT places -- even though everyone else is walking around wearing t-shirts and sweatpants doesn't mean you should).
(end tangent)

But what about that confidence? We all know that confidence is the most attractive characteristic possible in a man, yet it seems to be the most difficult trait for a nervous and insecure aspiring PUA to obtain. All I can say is that you can get confidence by doing courage. (credit: Dr. Paul) Opening more and more sets, extending the length and quality of your interactions with men and women, and being more comfortable with who you are -- these are how you can become confident. It may take a lot of time, but if you stick with it, it will come. If you are bald, embrace it! Use any disadvantage you think you have as an advantage. You may one day realize it was never a disadvantage anyway.

When I first started into the community, I was really concerned and insecure about my baldness. After all, I previously had a beautiful head of vibrant natural red, similar to Conan O'Brien's, and when girls (or guys) would call me baldie, Mr. Clean, or worst of all, "skinhead," I would take a beating inside and often lose my frame entirely. Through lots of practice and eventual successes, I stopped really worrying about it. When I meet someone new and they call me baldie in a quasi-joking quasi-insulting way, I know they are insecure about themselves. The most confident people I've ever met have never insulted me about my baldness (they may tease about it afterward -- last month Juggler was in town and joked that Britney Spears had stolen my idea). The people who insult you or call you "baldie" in an obviously non-teasing way or behind your back have lower self-esteem than you, and they are trying to raise themselves up to others or themselves. (trust me: I used to do this a lot)

Just last night I was out in the field and was having great interactions with people in the bars. I opened up this two set of Asian girls while I was waiting for a friend and started having a really great conversation with one of them. The other one was obviously drunk but also dangerously low in the self esteem department. She grew anxious and called me baldie while I was talking to her friend. I didn't flinch at all: I kept engaging the girl with whom I was conversing. I could see this girl was very attracted to me and would be willing to continue talking if her friend were not so wasted. I have a very loving LTR with whom I am very happy, so escalation is not of interest to me, so I said goodbye and implored her to take good care of her friend.

This, for me, was a great reminder of how far I've come. My "inner game"/confidence/charisma has increased so much since I first headed down this path. The fact that I didn't so much as feel even slightly bad about myself when her friend joked "baldie" helped me appreciate my progress in personal growth.

Most quality PUAs will say focus on your inner game. This is a very vague suggestion in an enormous problem space without any deterministic or linear solution paths (this is why we have entire industries based around psychiatrists and anti-depressants: so many people have inner game issues!). To a newbie this can seem very difficult since we want instant results or a simple script we can follow to obtain a rockstar lifestyle full of orgies with HB10s -- or even just an awesome girlfriend. But I truly believe how powerful the inner game is, and I would implore all those who have read my blog to focus your efforts on it. Don't waste your money on hot sports cars like I did (now I am rectifying the myopia of my early days). Don't watch every pickup-related movie or read every eBook out there. Figure out who you are and what you want, and the rest will all come to you naturally.

Initial Reflections on AMP and Situation with LTR

2006-12-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

I'm back from SF after haven taken the AMP, and it's really hard for me to describe what happened and how I feel now. I suppose the biggest takeaways for myself were that I need to be more real with myself and consequently others. I have lots of great friends, a good family, and a rockstar girlfriend who all think I'm amazing, but I don't tend to believe that myself. This has a reflection in serious self-doubt, which forces me to always check if everything I'm doing is good or OK or sufficient. This will control me the rest of my life so I need to face it now and here. I have some exercises for self-talk and I'm going to attempt some serious meditation, but I'm hopeful that I will achieve a solid point in my life. Ultimately I want to have the form of presence where I walk into a room and everyone's heads turn on me. Some day I intend to lead a company to do great things, and I want to have that form of charisma that really glows.

Over the weekend my girlfriend and I were on the brink of destruction: she felt I wanted to be a PUA too much and not be with her, and on Sunday a misunderstanding led to almost entire annihilation. I got back into Seattle and discussed everything with her, and now we feel closer than ever before. I don't have a "script" or a routine that I used on her, but I really was authentic with my feelings and promised to continue to improve. It also helped that she stumbled upon my blog and read it from back in summer 2005 to today. She saw in my own words that all I was searching for all this time was her. Now we are looking forward to our relationship together, and the connection, the romance, and the love is in the air. She's coming with me to DC this Christmas to meet my family too! And we are getting a puppy. :)

I'll continue to work on my own self-improvement, on my presence, and on my ability to be real with others. Fortunately for our relationship, that doesn't require sarging. It's a long road ahead but I'm excited to walk it.

Bottom line: be real with yourself and with others.

Back into San Francisco

2006-12-01T12:02:00.000-08:00

I'm down in San Francisco right now with my boys Mango, Positive, and Rally. We're doing the Authentic Man Program (AMP) to work on our inner game, and it should be a great experience. I've heard great things about AMP so I am curious to see how I will change after this weekend. I'll keep you posted, O Blog.

LTR

2006-09-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, sorry for no posts. I'm settling into LTR mode and killing off non-LTR threads. This girl is awesome, and that's what it's all about.

FR: Two Argentinians in One Day

2006-08-27T02:56:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving my parked car on my way to Pickup Triangle after the Lair meeting. Rally just gave an awesome talk on body language and the whole group is fired up for day game at PT. The sun is shining, it's warm outside, and I've got an awesome day ahead of me.

I'm set to meet up with some AFC friends for dinner at 7 PM, so I call ahead to make reservations. HBArgentinian answers, we're talking about the restaurant, whatever.

HBArgentinian: what's your last name?
VW: Wilder
HBArgentinian: first name?
VW: Van
HBArgentinian: what's your phone number?
VW: Oh my God I just met you a minute ago and you barely know me, but you're already asking for my phone number? Oh God you're not a stalker are you? OK you can stalk me if you want, but only on Tuesday; I already have stalkers on Monday and the rest of the week. Deal?
::HBArgentinian giggles her ass off::
VW: Be sure to bring binoculars for the best view and park outside on the street.
::HBArgentinian gigigles more::
HBArgentinian: you are so funny!
VW: yeah, I'm a part-time comedian. But if we keep talking I'm going to have to charge--this shit ain't free.
::HBArgentinian laughs more::
VW: so what do you do?
HBArgentinian: well I work here during the day and bust my butt.
VW: cool, are you cute?
HBArgentinian: well I am a model actually.
VW: like a hand model?
:: HBArgentinian laughs like hell::
VW: do you always flirt with customers? I'm going to have to talk to your manager, honey.
HBArgentinian: blah blah blah about her manager blah blah blah
HBArgentinian: Ok so what is your phone number, dear? (I'm trying to set the stage for our relationship: honey, dear, sweetie)
VW: 123-456-789
HBArgentinian: wow what area code is 123?
VW: the moon. I'm in town visiting for a few weeks. You earthlings seem nice.
:: HBArgentinian laughs :: (in hindsight I need a better response to that since people always ask where 301 is from)
HBArgentinian: what's the moon like?
VW: it's cold this time of the year, so that's why I come to earth around now.
HBArgentinian: can you take me back to the moon, sweetie?
VW: I dunno, you seem like you're trouble. We'll see what you're like in person, and maybe I'll bring you on my rocket ship.
::HBArgentinian giggles::
VW: how tall are you?
HBArgentinian: 5'2"
VW: uh oh, I'm 6'2"... I'm a foot taller than you. Our first kiss is going to be really awkward, but after that it'll always be amazing.
:: HBArgentinian continues to eat it up ::
HBArgentinian: I'm actually kind of buzzed right now
VW: damn you're drinking at work? you ARE trouble!
:: HBArgentinian somehow mentions she drinks 40s, specifically Mickeys ::
VW: oh god you're a Mickeys girl? I'm an Olde English guy... I don't know if we can hang out.
HBArgentinian: oh we definitely can!

I use the alpha male paradigm and tell her what's going on next:

VW: OK, you're off work at 3 so I'll give you a call at 9.
HBArgentinian: I'll be sitting around waiting for your call.

Later I run into Strollnus on the street and he has an incredibly cute girl with him. She's ALSO Argentinian. I'm thinking damn Strollnus, good set! I walk into Starbucks with them. I fluff with HBArgentinian2 and find out she actually knows HBArgentinian, but I keep going and ask Strollnus "is this your target?" She's free game (they are coworkers) and Strollnus invites me to sit with them. He asks what good accomplishments I have to social proof me to HBArgentinian2. I tell him I've traveled around the world and I love Capoeira. (well done Strollnus--thanks for asking)

We're in set chatting and I find out she's helping Strollnus shop, so I ask her to critique my style. She likes it but dammit I'm going on a shopping date with this girl, so we vibe about that, capoeira, travel, etc. We set up a date for the three of us to go dancing and I also find out she likes digital photography. I'm getting a digital SLR soon myself so I say "awesome, when I get my camera we're going to take pictures together... blah blah blah" She agrees. Doing the whole playful "awesome you're my new <<>>" works great almost every time. I've used all sorts of roles: girlfriend, best friend, personal fashion consultant, raining putt putt buddy, etc.

Lessons learned:

Always be playful! I haven't even met this girl and we already are planning our day2.
Always be alpha. Not necessarily controlling, but leading---this is sooooo key. You can see with both sets I'm leading the girls where I want them to go.
Banter banter banter, but also follow up with push-pull.
Hold the frame that you're already going to be in a relationship. MarinaHunter taught me this and I'm finding it works really well. Notice with HBArgentinian that she assumed the role of my girlfriend and was using endearing terms on me after I first set the stage for it.
I was definitely running a lot of attraction (banter) on her and should have done more rapport, but if she's a model I figure I need to increase BT as much as possible. Remember guys: as soon as she's attracted, go to rapport. You don't need to stay in attraction.
You're always on! I had no idea I'd get a day2 by making dinner reservations.

UPDATE: I was set to call HBArgentinian at 9 PM when she was to start drinking a 40. At 8 PM I text her and say "don't drink too much honey, you know what happens when you're drunk :-)". No response. I call her at 9 PM and she doesn't pick up... I'm thinking fuck, I got Seattle Frozen again. Then at 10 PM I get a text from her:

HBArgentinian: Hey!

I don't respond. 5 minutes later:

HBArgentinian: Van?

I don't respond. 5 minutes later my phone rings and it's her. I ignore her. This is her punishment for not picking up the phone when I called. I debated whether to respond but I'd rather give her the gift of my absence (credit: DavidD). Tomorrow I'll call/text her and tell her I was out already, but I'm trying to establish the frame that:

I demand respect (punctuality -- I told her I'd call her then so no excuses after she agreed),
I'm a busy man and I don't have time for flakes, and
I'm not needy/going to chase her at her convenience.

Breakthroughs in One Month

2006-08-10T23:44:00.000-07:00

OK, so I am pretty hard on myself usually. I've been in this community outside the realm of a KJ for about five months (total community time is around ten months). When I first started, I was a WBAFC, i.e. would never even have the courage to ask a girl for her phone number. I've made some huge jumps in the past few months (especially after rolling with Mango and Positive in SF), but I'd like to remind myself the accomplishments I've made over the past month:

This week: Had a solid Day2 with a cute target -- hadn't had a Day2 all summer... just didn't seem to care for a while after some personal problems.
Last Week: had a female friend's roommate say to her, "man, that guy makes me wish I was single!"
Yesterday: #closed an HBTall without even asking -- she just wrote her # down on a card and gave it to me. She was cute but actually taller than I am... eh, not really attracted to that. Still, it felt great.
Today: hired gun at Kell's Irish pub flat out hitting on me during service. Like HBTall, I wasn't even trying to hit on her, I was just being totally chill with a semi-flirtatious smile and a light touch of rapport. No kino. Still, I think it was just my attitude of this fun, cool, and flirtatious guy that really got her going.

After Mango and Positive were just up here, Seattle feels like a different town. We've found ourselves the best equivalent of Pickup Square from SF (we call ours Pickup Triangle) and we now have a solid army of PUAs ready for battle. Where will this all lead? I've got a feeling we're in for a hell of a ride, and the momentum is really building.

In summary, I am trying to be less harsh on myself, and I should focus more on what I have achieved versus what I have not. I'm still light years ahead of my game from last year, and I think once I get past a few more sticking points, I'm going to be phenomenal. That perfect set is coming along very soon; you know, that set where everything just clicks.

Tomorrow, 4-5 PUAs are meeting at Pickup Triangle for day game. Let's see what happens...

FR: Friday Aug 4, Belltown

2006-08-06T23:13:00.000-07:00

I met up with some great wings on Friday night in Belltown, including Mellow Yellow, Switch, Wuhoo, Voodoo, Tarzan, Valentino, and Mango and Positive who were in town for the weekend. We hit up The Apartment around 7 to get some drinks.

We're chillaxing and Mango wants me to practice some night game. Tarzan goes into a seated 2-set at the bar and opens. Mango asks me to wing him in about 60 seconds and I go in, using the great target-finding signal to Tarzan:

Me: Hey, which of these girls is trouble?
Tarzan: This one is totally trouble.

I sit down next to my target and so Tarzan can isolate. I banter for a bit with her, play some people watching with her, but ultimately get bored with the conversation. I want to tell Tarzan I need to get out, but a good wing will hold the set as long as necessary. Eventually we eject and I post mortem with Tarzan. We talk with Mellow Yellow and discuss our signal for asking the other wing if the set is failing and we want to eject, or if he needs us to hold the obstacle(s) for him. In the future, you ask your wing mid-set, "Hey is your girl too nice? 'cause this one's way too nice for me." If he says yes, it means stay in your set. If he says no, then start your 60 second countdown and prepare to close out the set.

Venue change to Black Label.

I'm seated at the bar next to Mango enjoying my hallmark drink, the Apple Martini. Mango spots a 2-set across the bar and sends me in. I wait for a few seconds for the right moment and as soon as they are taking out their camera, I jump in.

Me: Oh you're taking pictures, I love pictures, smile big!

They both give me the first impression scan down to see if I'm being playful or trying too hard, but they see the smile on my face and say OK!

I enter the set and start bantering. Mellow Yellow walks in, I identify my target, and the set is rolling. I'm actually quite taken by my target but her food has arrived and her friend asks if we would come back later. I politefully eject and tell my target I really enjoyed talking with her and would like to continue the conversation later. She agrees.

I continue to open some sets in the bar to continue having fun, and I end up bantering with all sorts of sets and just having fun. Eventually we have to bounce so I run up to my target and go for the #close in case I don't see her again, but I ask her to show up to Amber later that night.

She does. I open her in Amber and end up being in set with her for at least an hour. Her friend refuses to leave us so I can't run much rapport, and in fact her friend is calling out how I am flirting with her and she's not going to leave unless some cute guy picks her up. Throughout the next two hours I'm running every story I have, my identity stories, my attraction stories, the Amber-exhausted Indiana Jones vs. James Bond routine... everything in my stack to keep the conversation going. My target is liking me and kino'ing back, but I've never held a night set this long without going to rapport so I'm throwing out everything in the arsenal. Wings are entering left and right to help me with isolation, including Valentino, Tarzan, Mango, Positive, and Mellow Yellow. It's a long set and I only got to rapport with my target for about 3 minutes before her friend returned, but I established my day2 with her and the set was a success in my eyes. One of those sets...

I eject and the PUAs venue change to Twist. I tell the bouncer that these are my friends and he lets them all in without checking their IDs. (credit: Mango for social proof tips) We are inside talking with lots of PUAs and having a good time overall, and as we're about to close out, I see a seated 6 set of mostly blondes. I've got a drink in my hand and I walk right up to them:

Me: (drink up) Hey guys, cheers! (credit: Positive)
HBs: Our friend is getting married, blah blah blah

I walk over to the bride and her very cute blonde friend. I banter a bit, congratulations, etc. Awesome comes into the set and reminds me to kino my target, which I do. I'm having a great time and they are loving me. No routines really, just a really warm vibe I'm sending out to them.

I banter a bit more with their friends and we're all heading out. As I'm outside with the PUAs, I see the bachellorette party girls coming out and re-open the bride and her other friend, another cute blonde. Banter, kino, etc. as always, until I spot a super cute blonde (drunk) coming out. I walk right up to her and grab her hand, saying how nice it was to talk to them (big smile on my face). I squeeze her hand to test for attraction (positive) and give her a hug goodbye. In hindsight, I could have kissed her.

Lessons learned:

Wing dynamics are important. I learned how to signal to my wings that I'm not interested in my girl, and I need to know if he is still interested in his target and how we can communicate that.
I'd prefer not to stay in set with my main set of the night that long, but honestly I think her friend really did a great job of cockblocking. At the end of the night though, I was getting hugs and she said that she totally approves of me seeing her friend. Not that I needed approval, but it's more social proof.
Bachellorette parties full of blondes are great! They're all tipsy and having fun. If you grab a girl's hand and she passes the attraction test, go ahead and order her to kiss you (repeat: order her, don't ask for permission; you really can simply say "I've gotta go, kiss me").

Overall, it was a great night and it was so much fun rolling with the Seattle PUAs. You guys are great and I have strong feeling the new Lair is really going to blossom over the next few months. Keep up the good work!

Slight Pat on the Back

2006-07-31T14:14:00.000-07:00

This isn't really an FR, but I stopped by a friend's house (female friend) to catch up. I met her roommate (HB8, body HB10) and her upstairs neighbor. Both were really cool and I liked them a lot, but afterward I got an email from her saying how much they both liked me and how awesome I was. To quote the HB8, "Meeting guys like that makes me wish I was single." Hot damn!

Yeah, there's nothing to report, but that felt great to hear. This girl's body was phenomenal: around 5'11", C cups, tight body, cute face with those hot librarian glasses. I think she was around 21 years old. Mmmmm, I'll have to work some more rapport on her so when her LDR breaks up, she'll have someone to fall back to.

Routine Change

2006-07-26T15:32:00.000-07:00

Alright, I've tweaked my daily routine a bit to provide myself some more energy (thanks to Style and Mystery), and I've also worked with Tarzan to provide an incentive to get our momentum going again (this game is all about momentum). The bet? You lose $10 for every set you don't open when you should open. Now if the girl is clearly unattractive to you or there is some legitimate reason for not opening, it's OK. But if you simply chicken out, you've just lost $10. We're actually going to collect our money each Monday morning and donate it to charity.

I came back from Capoeira on Monday night, dripping in sweat and disgusting, and stopped by the local QFC at U. Village. There were sets everywhere! Then I switched to the Barnes & Noble and found lots of cuties there too -- and at 10:45 PM! I'm hoping to run direct game on some girls as I'm still stinky and sweaty from Capoeira.

I'm not going to give up--I'm going to fight the inertia and push myself into orbit again.

Weekend Sarging Day 1 Results

2006-07-22T19:31:00.000-07:00

Major failure to launch today. Tarzan and I meet up around 10:30, head to the local coffee shop, and prepare for the day's activities. We run through our rapport games and head out to QFC to run game at U. Village. I spot a cute 2-set and get an AI from the target, but for some reason I feel I am too tired to open so I skip her. I see another cute lone wolf (would be an amazing lay) but again AFC out. I'm feeling super tired so I grab a second cup of coffee. I banter with a few people and am chatty, but this sleepiness is killing me.

Tarzan opens a cute SHB9 with banter and seems to be having a good talk with her, and I pass by to watch her BL. She smacks him on the arm (always a good sign). Eventually we see her in the checkout lane and he re-opens. I stand behind him where HBCougar shows up with beautiful blue eyes. I ask her what she's carrying in her hand (some sort of salad) and she responds positively. We vibe on her times in Ireland and I am trying to decide whether to go direct on her (you know you have incredibly beautiful eyes!). She goes ahead in line when her chance comes up, while I'm still stuck with Tarzan. As she walks away she turns back and waves. Amazing body on this one, and I'd love to have myself a cougar. I guess next time I should just go direct and see where it takes me. Lesson learned.

We venue change to Sephora and I have a hired gun put just a tad of make up on me to bring out my blue eyes. I like her a lot but have personal problems with gaming a hired gun. She's laughing and all but I feel bad going to major rapport. Oh well, I'm chatty after her and feeling in state. We venue change around U. Village but it's overall empty. Where is everybody?

We leave to the Seattle Center for Bite of Seattle. I'm doing the PU101 alpha male walk and get major AIs from girls, including a girl who doubletakes me while holding her boyfriend's hand. It's amazing how powerful that walk is. I go to a hired gun and start chatting her up, ask her what her story is, try to get to know her better. I'm enjoying my conversation and she's hot, but again I'm not feeling confident enough to #close her or anything. She has a BF but would make a cool friend ("you're cool, you can help me pick up chicks"), but again I'm just not feeling it. Something's wrong.

I see a super cute blonde with her mom and some AFC guy and approach, for she's wearing a pirate's hat. I ask where she got it and she offers it, then her mom pulls it back and makes me sing the "ABC's". I comply and get myself a new pirate hat. She is SUPER cute but I don't know how to close her. I mean I can't just shift to direct, can I? It's alright, my confidence is restored because I'm having fun (although crazy tired).

It's insanely hot and the Seattle Center is packed with people, so we leave to Queen Anne. We try to take a short nap in a park but the heat stifles us. Shit! We call it a day and hope for more success tomorrow.

As with all experiences in the game, there are some lessons to learn:

Get enough sleep! Being a sleepy PUA isn't going to help you.
Go direct on a girl as soon as possible. We AFC'd out and the day blew.
Walk the alpha male walk and stance. It feels cool and you get AIs all the time.
I love talking to blondes (especially with blue eyes). I guess I have a thing for them.
Don't give up!

I find I'm at the stage Lance Mason mentions in the "Everything You Know about Women is Wrong" video (in case you can't tell, the theory behind this stuff amazes me almost as much as the actual game). Mason mentions two characters: Andre, the alpha male, and Bob, the beta male. 90% of men are betas by social programming. According to Sperm Wars, women are programmed to sleep with the alpha males but settle with a beta male who would then help raise the children (I refer to a great article called "The Truth about Women" by an unknown poster on Bristol Lair that essentially embodies this principle). The alpha is the sex object while the beta is the provider.

In the game, when you pretend to be Andre, women will assume you're Andre until proven otherwise. For me, I can walk like Andre, I can stand like Andre, and I can open like Andre, but I can't hold the conversation long enough like Andre just yet, and I certainly can't alpha male the hell out of her like Andre yet either. So when girls are giving me AIs and I don't approach, they almost look disappointed. Or when I enter a set and do poorly, the girl again looks disappointed that I'm not Andre. But I'm so glad that I've found the path to becoming Andre, although I still would like to simply be more charismatic too rather than pure alpha. Hell, I'll be both.

The point is that this game is a series of plateaus. You start off with wherever you are, and you start inching your way forward. Once you get to a certain wall, you have to practice something else (kino escalation, deeper rapport, vibing, etc.). I'm still light-years ahead of where I was a year ago, miserably living the life of the AFC without knowing what an AFC was.

It's hot as balls in my apartment right now, which is why I'm here typing at 4:30 AM, but enough KJ for me tonight. I saw a great quote in the Barnes & Noble as I was searching for targets:

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined."
--Thoreau

Tomorrow, we game again.

Weekend of Sarging

2006-07-21T22:38:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning, 10 AM. Tarzan and I meet at Zoka to prepare for the day's games. I'll be sending field reports as they come. For the first time, two Mango-trained PUAs are running day game for two days straight.

This is the weekend that changes everything.

Ah, Kirkland Summerfest

2006-07-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was playing some day game with a few guys from the lair. I was trying to get some new guys to enter sets running direct game, but none of them seemed to want to do it. Eventually I gave up and started hunting myself. I amped up my alpha male walk and told Awesome to stay 15 feet behind me in my wake. After one lap around the waterfront, I had AIs from all sorts of girls, including a seated 3-set of Kirkland girls who literally locked onto my body as I strolled by. Fingers joined Awesome behind me as I passed a super cute blonde with blue eyes (my preferred target), who immediately gave me an AI. I turned around to open her direct when Fingers starts talking to her! I amped up her BT and Fingers rides in on my wake! Grrrr. I heard from him half an hour later and he said she had a boyfriend, and he didn't use any boyfriend destroyer pattern (or my favorite: ignore the boyfriend entirely).

I dropped the atomic bomb of direct game on a girl on the way home, who lit up like a Christmas tree. This restored my confidence since I hadn't had success with direct recently in Seattle, but all of a sudden my memories of HB-Elizabeth Hurley, HB-Spanish, and HB-Twins from San Francisco returned to me. It was on! We chatted for a few minutes, I instadated her to a nearby coffee shop, and I ran the "I Like" game to actively probe for her interests. I mentioned how I like fried chicken and she said "OMG I love fried chicken!" I launched some improvised story about how when I was younger my dad would always take us to this great fried chicken place on the long road trip from DC to Richmond to visit his mother and his childhood home. I said how the aromas of fresh fried chicken and country gravy always reminded me of those youthful roadtrips and fond memories with my late grandmother, and how each time I have really good fried chicken I feel I am on my way home again (on the east coast).

I was actually making this up on the spot because I hadn't studied my Day2 routines yet, but she seemed to enjoy it. So I'm meeting up with her at Ezzels, the best fried chicken in Seattle.

Bottom line: confidence is restored in the power of day game. As an additional bonus, I happened upon a chiropractor who informed me that my headaches are most likely being caused by years of bad posture on a computer. I told him how recently it was slightly better (thanks to consciously using the alpha male walk and stance as much as possible), but my neck was still super sore and my head permanently hurts. I signed up for chiropractic care (thankfully my company's health insurance plan is awesome and covers it all), and I'm going to receive massage therapy twice a week for two or three weeks to relieve the pressure.

Who would have thought day game would have led to so much goodness?

I hadn't run any real game in a few weeks due to various collisions of interests, but my wing Tarzan is back and my weekend is completely clear, so stay tuned for FRs from the field. Tarzan was down in San Francisco rolling with Mango and Positive two weekends ago and he closed 9 girls in one day alone. Clearly, the bar has been raised. The game is on!

Cold vs. Warm Approaches

2006-07-14T18:57:00.000-07:00

I'm watching Pickup 101's excellent "Everything You Know about Women is Wrong" video and Lance makes a great point that I've been thinking about recently:

Don't let anyone introduce you.

If you're in a social scene, don't wait around for people to introduce you to their friends. Rather, make the approach yourself, for then you are controlling the interaction.

I don't know about you guys, but I hate warm approaches. When someone says "hey ****, I'd like you to meet ****", I freeze up. I'm not ready for running attraction material (or even going direct) because I'm not feeling in control. I'm glad Lance mentions this because I've been noticing it a lot.

It's weird... I actually prefer cold approaches now to warm approaches. Fascinating!

Alright, I'll be out running a few hours of day game this Sunday. It's been over a week since I've done an approach and I'm itching for that rush of direct game!

Pangs for Daygame

2006-07-07T22:49:00.000-07:00

Ugg, daygame is starting to eat away at me. I'm unable to run day game this weekend because of motorcycle safety (new identity for VW: rider, to add to the stack of photographer, capoeirista, and traveler). Tarzan is down in SF this weekend rolling with Mango and Positive, which leaves me without a strong wing anyway. But Tarzan's reports streaming back of major success in only a few hours (7 closes today alone -- before the night games begin!) gives me renewed confidence in myself and my loyal wing.

I amended my goals for the next six months:

2 MLTRs (preferably one HB-Blonde, one HB-Brazilian)
1 18-21 yo FB, 1 cougar FB
Be one of the top three PUAs in Seattle.

I love this game. Alright, enough KJ for the night, I'm off to watch Narnia.

Tarzan's First Direct Set

2006-06-27T01:56:00.000-07:00

We hit the Kirkland water front around 5 today with one goal in mind: my wing Tarzan is going to run his first direct set. We walk around for a bit looking for a worthy target, warming up on all sorts of Kirkland girls (i.e. hot trust-fund jailbait). Tarzan asks me to go direct on a girl to demonstrate how it works, but I remind him that it's his day to shine. We finally spot an HB7 in our usual coffee shop and we prep outside. I'm going to go in first to observe the BL, and he will follow a few seconds after I head in.

He goes in, delivers his line, and gets about 50% Christmas tree lights -- he asks to sit down, they talk for about 20 minutes. He is kino'ing her at first and she responds, her BL is spot-on, she's digging him. He likes her but determines he's not as attracted to her as he thought he was, so he gives her his number and ejects. He's on fire--he's in state, he's ready to rock.

I just proved to him the value of direct game. Cut through attraction and straight to rapport. That's my boy! Tarzan, it's going to be a great summer.

Stay tuned for this weekend, when I'll be running around four days of direct day game as it's the Fourth of July weekend. I have a feeling my next breakthrough is coming in the month of July, and most likely by the end of next weekend. Stay tuned.

Massive State

2006-06-21T23:43:00.000-07:00

Today was my first time in what Mango refers to as "massive state." Tarzan and I leave the gym around 7 and hit the Kirkland waterfront. It's not as target-rich as, say, Pickup Square in San Francisco, but it'll have to do.

I start warming up on the street, instructing Tarzan how to warm up on the street asking for ATMs. Our first set is a 2-set of Paris Hilton clones, so I run on about needing the ATM, then they say it's a mile up the road, I say I'm from Australia and I don't know what a mile is, they confront me on my lack of accent, I say I went "to university" here and lost my accent, they bite, I bust on them (you guys are such dorks!). These are "Kirkland girls," i.e. trust-fund babies who have nothing better to do than tan all day and dress up. Not the type for my harem, but they serve their purpose of demonstrating warm-up sets on the street.

We hit the coffee shop and I instantly notice an AI from a 3-set sitting at the coffee bar. I tell Tarzan I just got AI'd and he laughs, joking how I perceive everything to be an AI nowadays. I'm not kidding: the target wants me to open her up. We're in line and she comes over to me, stands right besides me, looks around the menu as if she's interested, then walks away. Tarzan says dude that was such an AI! In hindsight I should have tried a new line I came up with about three seconds after she walked away: "step away mam, I'm this guy's bodyguard and you look dangerous" (with a smile). Takeaway: use this next time I'm out with Tarzan and a girl walks right next to me and wants me to open her. (for the record, HB7)

We stroll down to the waterfront and are confronted primarily with older couples. I open a few sets for more warmup and spot a direct game-worthy target, but Tarzan freezes and refuses to open her. He gets a phone call when I spot an HB9 at the water fountain that I've seen in my abs class at my gym. I see two kids around her playing with her so I'm praying she's a nanny, but I open anyway: "excuse me, are those two bothering you?" I remind her who I am and banter with her a bit, we run a few interview questions, she's from Ukraine and has amazing blue eyes and probably a 36D cup, she IOIs that I have pretty eyes too, asks where I'm from, blah blah blah. I talk about Capoeira and how I'm starting into it soon and she wants to join. I ask for her e-mail and she gives me her phone number as well.

OK, so I've never #closed an HB9 in Seattle, but at the same time this is a single mother. Tom Leykis warns of single moms, but I'm still majorly attracted to her and her accent is to die for, so I'll just see where this goes. I've wanted this girl for months in the abs class but before I was a PUA, I was too afraid to talk to her. Now I've talked with her, she has responded to banter well, she likes my sense of humor and my eyes, and she definitely wants to fuck. (affirmation: all girls want to have sex; almost all girls want to have sex with me!)

The major point of this thread boils back to the AIs, though. I was walking back to Tarzan's place and a running lone wolf smiled at me and said hello; usually I had to be the one to say hello. The girl in the coffee shop AI'd me as I walked in. HB-Ukrainian on the beach was IOI'ing me... at work I'm getting AIs. In day game at the mall I'm getting AIs... for a while I thought this was all imagined, but I never saw these before ever. I firmly believe these are indeed AIs and I open up any time I get them now... or I should. That will be my rule.

What is causing this? I asked Positive and Mango since it's starting to freak me out a bit, to be honest. They claim that my newfound confidence is causing a disturbance in the force and all the HBs want to talk to me. They want to sit in that shade of my alpha male-ness. They want to have sex with me. :P This isn't perceived: women can sense confidence and want to be around it. I almost feel I don't have to do any work anymore!

This is all amazing. I've never felt so confident as I have in the past two weeks, and it's only going to get better. I would highly advise my readers to do daily affirmations to remind themselves who they are and what they are capable of. As corny as they sound, they work for me, and they are also related to the foundation of cognitive behavior therapy, which is proven to be effective in around 70% of cases. My affirmations are, for now:

1) I'm going to have an awesome day!
2) I am a pickup artist!
3) Almost all women want to have sex with me!
4) I am comfortable in my own skin.

These are all positive, present affirmations. Whether NLP or CBT or whatever is correct, it does indeed change my own beliefs. When I see a girl AI me, I now think "of course she's giving me AIs---she wants to have sex with me!" The only reason I say "almost" all women want to have sex with me, by the way, is because I don't want to hurt my logical unit in my brain by giving it a statement and then finding a counterexample. If "almost" all women want to have sex with me, I'm set.

FRs: Back to the Game

2006-06-14T22:41:00.000-07:00

I'm taking my revived wing out to show him the value of day game, but before we can really start engaging we should try to get chatty with strangers.

We head from work to the Kirkland waterfront and spot a 2-set taking photos. He opens and asks if they are posting on match.com. I banter with my target (HB6, 34D) about how I saw her on match.com already and how she had a thing for long walks on the beach. Tarzan banters with his girl about photos and we take a shot with them. Warm up set -- we're now in state, being chatty. I open the next set, an old married couple and we banter about the view of the waterfront, then chat about the ducks and this one main duck with what appears to be a duck mullet. "He's the rebellious 18 year-old duck, I bet". We're all laughing and in general having fun.

We then see a seated 2-set by the waterfront. Tarzan bets me to sit right next to them, I say "oh my God you guys soooo took my seat!" HB7 laughs, AFC boyfriend gets terrified. I start bantering with them about ... hell I can't even remember ... and Tarzan engages. We find she's going to UT-Austin next year and he's staying local at UW. If only she were staying here and he were leaving, I'd be more interested in chatting. AFC boyfriend's BL is terrified: two PUAs are engaging him and he doesn't have a chance, plus he's terrified that this long distance relationship isn't going to work and he's an AFC. You can read it in his face. Trust me, I've been there. We move on.

It's cold outside so we head to a coffee shop with a few targets. I feel I'm getting AIs across the board because, well, I am. Confidence is key, PUAs. We banter with a set who tries to steal our seats, we banter a 4-set (1 HB6, 3 AFCs) about their study habits, and we engage a really awesome 2-set (married) for a solid half hour about all sorts of varied topics. I get a chance to run my "what do you do?" story about how I'm into Capoeira now and it relates to my first trip to Brazil, then I describe why I fell in love with Brazil and Capoeira, and how I want to do it five days a week and become a "black belt" (not sure the rankings just yet).

It's cold and dark, and there are consequently few sets on the street. So we call it a night, but I've "picked up" some solid takeaways:

Tarzan is going to make an awesome wing.
Kirkland waterfront is full of HBs, or at least the best that the east side has to offer.
Being chatty in general will give you the AIs you need.
Confidence is key (duh). Walk confident, talk confident (slow, controlled, focused). It will change your game entirely. Opening sets isn't as hard anymore because I'm cooler about it.
There are plenty of hot girls out there in the world who want you. Tell yourself that every morning. Have the abundance mentality, not the scarcity mentality.
I'm sticking by my claim that direct game is the most powerful game; we've just had two bad days so far with Valentino and Tarzan doing it. But because of HB-Sisters, HB-Elizabeth-Hurley, and HB-Spanish, I'm never going to forget the power of direct.

This should, indeed, become a good summer.

FR: The Power of Direct Game

2006-06-05T22:24:00.000-07:00

In San Francisco I went direct on numerous targets with about a 40% "Christmas tree light" effect (credit Mango). I was hanging out with Mango and Positive for Memorial Day weekend when they asked me to enter a set using direct game. I had never done this before, but after enough encouragement I went ahead and did it. For some of the sets, I was entirely blown out (i.e. the girl would just say "thanks" or "I know" when I said she was incredibly cute). But for a surprisingly high number of sets, she would say "Thank you!" and light up like I flipped a switch.

Three examples come to mind:

Ex 1: Mango spots a seated 5-set and a target. He tempts me to enter but I refuse, probably thinking internally that the women are going to laugh at me and I'll never have sex again (illogical belief). Eventually I muster up the courage and enter, I walk up to the target, I say excuse me, I saw you as I was walking outside, and I just had to say...you're incredibly cute! Her response: "thanks." I walk away with my confidence in myself high. Sure, I was blown out, but I did it! Mango enters the place and talks with the girls, then I re-enter and talk to them as well. We say what we were trying to do, and they are surprisingly nice about it! I say thanks to them all for helping me get over this problem and we move on our way.

Then, we're walking by another coffee shop when Mango spots a cute seated 2-set inside. He says "go direct NOW" and I go in without even a hesitation (after running on the 5-set before, I can do anything now, right?). I enter and say to my target, "I saw you walking by and I just had to say... you are incredibly cute!" The target lights up and says "Thank you!" Her friend says "would you like to have some food?" so I say "sure" and sit down and join them. It turns out they are sisters visiting from San Jose, we fluff for a while, and I get their emails and a picture with them. Wow! It works! Her sister was actually trying to HELP me. What the hell? There is no obstacle (thanks Positive).

Ex 2: We are in a cab headed to Union Square (a.k.a. Pickup Square) when Mango spots an incredibly hot HB9 with a blond HB7 next to her. I literally jump out of the cab and race towards the HB9. I freeze for a moment, Mango helps me gather my thoughts, and he throws me into the set. I approach from behind, tap her on the shoulder, turn her around, and say "I saw you walking by and I just had to say... you are ... incredibly cute!" She also lights up like a Christmas tree! I run back to Mango who orders me to re-open the set. I run back to HB9 and say "I'm sorry, I'll just be miserable unless I get your name." She lights up again and it turns out to be Samantha. She will always be Elizabeth Hurley to me. Thanks Mango--I have now opened my first "amnesia hot" woman.

Ex 3: We're chilling in a bar having some dinner when Mango and Positive are watching a seated 2-set behind me (1 AFC guy and an HB8 blonde). She's begging for kino from him but he just doesn't get it. We start to pack our stuff to leave and the AFC guy goes to the bathroom. Again, Mango says "Her BT is high--go direct!" I walk up to her and run my direct line: "I was about to leave when I saw you... you are incredibly cute!" She grabs my hand and pulls me in for a conversation! We chat briefly about where she's from, what's she's doing, etc. I could have instadated her right there but I was still so amazed at the power of the direct game.

Direct game is where it's at. Why? You can skip attraction material and just go to rapport.

This Weekend: Rapport

2006-06-05T17:28:00.000-07:00

This weekend I'm going back into the game. I have the right foundation now and the right toolset, so now I need to build on it. When I'm in state, I'm pretty good with banter, so I am going to practice working on rapport.

I've got the cube figured out, so this weekend I will be working on my deep rapport story along with other rapport stories. I'm going to practice delivering them to myself in the mirror, so I have the perfect delivery (tonality, tempo, pauses). I'm going to practice fun rapport games (fascination game, roleplaying game, etc. credit Mango), and then I'm going into the field to test them out.

Second task of the week: find a good day2 location and start setting up day2s. Game on!

Timeout

2006-06-04T18:07:00.000-07:00

So I just came back from San Francisco last weekend and had a rush as I was opening more sets than ever before and trying more things than ever. I still have to work on my night game, but what I am really focused on now is day game. As such I'm going to be practicing it exclusively for the next few weeks. Rapport is everything!

But, I took a timeout this week (I know I shouldn't after the rush of hanging out with Mango and Positive), but my best friend from college committed suicide two days after I returned from San Francisco, and I've been mourning his loss ever since then. Why do I post this? I wanted to remind myself and the world of PUAs to not forget that women may come and go, but really good friends--the kind you can trust with your life and inner most secrets--are few and far between. Take a few days off from pickup and hang out with your buddies (even if they are AFCs). Don't glance around the venues looking for "targets." Hang out with your female friends and not your "pivots." Go watch a baseball game! Enjoy a bottle of wine with an old friend and share stories of yesteryear.

Ultimately, this game is supposed to become second nature, but I know for a long time while we're in the game, it becomes our life. That's OK because that's how you get better, and I know now I have the potential to become one of the best PUAs in Seattle. That is my commitment to myself: I will not leave Seattle (i.e. move) until I am a full-fledged, high-ranking PUA who can handle Amber (in Seattle) or the Matrix (in San Francisco) like a playground.

FR: Intercepting Buying Temperature

2006-05-29T18:12:00.000-07:00

Mango, Positive, and I had finished our daygaming for the day and headed off to a pub near Union Square. In the bar, we're each analyzing body language to see who's got game and who doesn't. An HB8 behind me is talking with some asian guy, and she's totally digging him. She's mirroring his body language, she's opened to him, she's even waiting for him to kino her, but he's not. We want to cry because all this AFC needs to do is grab her hands and he's in her bed tonight.

He goes off to the bathroom and we start leaving. As we're leaving, Mango tempts me: open the set, direct open, and see where it goes. He claims her buying temperature is through the roof and all I need to do is ride in on the wave. I go up to her and say, "Excuse me, I saw you across the bar and I just had to say, you are incredibly beautiful." She lights up like a Christmas tree and grabs my hands (instant kino!). She's from Barcelona, she is in town for a few weeks on business, and she's absolutely beautiful. I eject after a minute and return to Mango, who wonders why I didn't escalate. It's OK--I was so surprised it worked that I didn't know what to do (this happened to me a LOT over the weekend). But now I know how to read buying temperature and how to take advantage of it. The next time, I'll see if she wants to get a cup of coffee elsewhere.

Take-aways:
1) When a girl's BT is high, it's a lot easier to sweep her off her feet
2) Direct approach is AWESOME.
3) If a girl is mirroring your body language and talking to you with a smile on your face, she wants you. Kino her!
4) If I ever see that beautiful San Francisco Spaniard again, I will instadate her.
5) San Francisco has LOTS of beautiful women running around.

FR: Day Game Revelation in San Francisco

2006-05-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

It's Monday, May 29 and I'm in Union Square with Mango and Positive. We enter the square and spot a few Art of Rapport instructors who are already targeting the unsuspecting ladies. The competition is fierce, but there's plenty to go around. The world is your oyster!

Mango spots a cute brunette sitting by herself and sends me in.

Mango: 3...2....1..... GO!
VW: No no I can't... OK I can. What's my opener?
Mango: Go indirect. Ask where the ATM is and sit down.
VW: OK

I head into the set and approach from an angle, slide my hand out and say, "Excuse me, do you know where the nearest ATM is?" I sit down next to her (not close enough, but close)

HB7: blah blah blah
VW: Awesome, you're so hired as my personal tour guide. I'm going to buy you a GPS, get you some maps, and you're going to show me around the city. Then tonight you'll take me out to the Marina District in a nice stretched black limo--one of those traditional limos, not one of those fancy Humvee limos.
HB7 laughs her ass off.
VW kinos, banters a bit.
VW: So what brings you out here?
HB7: blah blah blah
.... wide rapport .....
HB7: oh you know everything about me.
VW: I bet I can learn more about you than most of your friends.
HB7: OK tell me how. I'm a therapist so I'm really intrigued.
VW: Do you have a good imagination?
HB7: Yes
VW: Do you think you are a creative person?
HB7: Yes!
VW: Can you visualize imagery in your head well?
HB7: Yes! (thanks to Mango for the yes-ladder)
VW cubes HB7 for the next 30 minutes.

After deep rapport, we go back up to superficial and wide rapport, and then back deep a bit. I e-mail-close (didn't think enough to get her phone) and eject a few minutes later.

I'm super excited about this set because it was a turning point for me. I knew intellectually that day game is where it's at, but I had never gone far enough into any set to prove it to myself. After an hour in set with this girl, I finally assured myself internally (and not just intellectually) that day game is where you will meet your MLTRs. Night game is fun for sharpening your skill set, but if you are trying to build your harem, it's best to do so during the day.

Furthermore, it's easier to day game as the bitch shield is down and the hottest girls come out during the day.

Now to find the best day game spots in Seattle...

FR: San Francisco, Marina District, Friday Night

2006-05-26T23:16:00.000-07:00

So I'm in San Francisco this weekend rolling with Mango and Positive. We head out to the Marina District around 9:30 and warm up on the street with three "hello, where is Bar None?" openers for warm up. We head into Bar None with smiles on our faces. We are charmed and dangerous.

I'm the visitor this weekend so the first set is mine. We spot a cute 2-set at the bar and I run my opener:

Me: Hey guys, does this necklace make me look gay?
Girls: blah blah blah
Me: kino, banter, story, more kino, more banter

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this set but it's going incredibly well -- they are laughing and smiling and having fun, and my target is having a great time. After a few minutes I eject and open more sets with the same routine. I'm definitely in state at this point and want to continue rolling. After ejecting from another 2-set and watching Mango working a 5-set of blondes all by himself (Positive went in to wing), I re-engage my starting set with more kino and banter. (note: kino+banter = money) I get a solid reception still and continue to play around, but I'm unable to isolate my target so I just keep going back to them as my home base set. I steal a picture of my new 3-set and enjoy the victory of my first successful set of the night. As I eject from the set again, Mango spots a 2-set of AFCs walk into my set, riding my wake of BT I created with the girls. Dammit! Lesson learned.

Later that night after working a few more sets, I return to my target (HB8) when she isolated. We instantly kino and I bring her close, telling her I have to get going but she should join us at the Matrix later that night. I run the basic hand test (squeeze her hand) and she responds positively by squeezing back. I'm about 2 inches away from her and I should have said "kiss me" or just gone in for the kiss myself, but it's too late now. I had 0 rapport with her but since she was slightly boozed, it didn't matter.

We head to the Matrix and meet up with probably ten PUAs running game at this tough stomping grounds. To top it off, RSD is running a boot camp tonight with jlaix at the helm. The competition is fierce, but unfortunately I can't remember what sets I opened this night if any. It's OK -- I'm fighting off a cold today and I'm a bit terrified by the environment. I am still happy from the 2-set earlier in the night.

Take-aways from the night:
1) Enter the venue with a smile ALWAYS.
2) Isolate your target!
3) If you leave a set with high BT, you have left yourself wide open for others to swoop in.
4) Run the hand test to guarantee attraction.

Always be playful and have fun -- that's what makes for a great time.

jetBlue Terminal, JFK

2006-05-25T04:23:00.000-07:00

I'm in the jetBlue terminal with a two-hour layover before my return flight to the west coast, and I'm seeing a higher concentration of HB8's & 9's than I see over an average month in Seattle. Is there something about Seattle that keeps the hot girls away?

Too bad I'm exhausted from last night to run any day game here. It's packed!

Bantering

2006-05-22T16:53:00.000-07:00

I admit that I'm a slow learner. I've read a lot of material from many of the gurus out there (David D, Mystery, Swinggcat, Juggler, etc.), but I haven't really been good at applying it because I've read too much information and haven't opened enough sets. So I'm back at my college this week, and I'm trying some basic stuff I've read from the guys at Pickup101. What I've been doing today has been some basic banter lines on some unsuspecting targets during my day game, and I've started to see how it really does work in sets.

For instance, at the coffee place today my friend and I started busting on the barrista for not knowing about the caloric levels in the chocolate cappucino muffins.

(We're at a coffee shop called Stella's)
Me: You're so fired as my personal barrista. I'm going to call Stella and she's going to take you in the back room and teach you a lesson. You're a bad girl.
Her: Oh no I can't be fired! I like this job so much.
Me: Sorry, you're in trouble now.

My friend and I went back and forth to get more coffee and food for the next hour, and each time we played her and she played us. It was a fun interaction each time and we were all smiling. No #close or anything, but I can see how she really was playing into our little game. I had had little success with banter on previous girls the night before because they were all drunk, but during the day when they are drawn into my reality, it becomes a fun game.

Anyway, these are baby steps, but I can start to see how if you know what you're doing, this can be just an ongoing adventure. I can't wait to live it!

FR: Senior Week, Night 1

2006-05-22T00:15:00.000-07:00

So I'm back at my alma mater for its senior week and my friends are asking me to open sets to show off my PUA skills. The first two venues are packed past the point of fire safety codes and the volumes are so loud I have to scream to my friends. I freeze up since I can't think of any opener to use. So we move on to the next place, a casino night, and I start opening a few sets.

I'm decked out in my peacocking gear consisting of a cool Gap jacket ($30), a really cool cowboy hat ($25), and a cheap pair of aviator sunglasses that look great on me ($20). Some asshole starts busting on my hat, trying to piss me off but he has no funny routines to run. I, the PUA, am prepared to AMOG this prick and fire off to his friend, "hey this guy reminds me of my substitute teacher. You know the guy who comes in when the hot girl is sick and he doesn't know what he's doing". The friend laughs his ass off and I do some friendly kino to him (guy kino, you know, bonding shit). The asshole asks where my hat was made, did I buy it in a store, and I say yes, where do you think I bought it? Great question on his end, so I fire back another AMOG to his friend: "hey is this guy always like this? How do you roll with him?" The friend laughs again and says I dunno. So I prepare to fire off my final AMOG when I say "hey nice sweater." Then his friend comes in and completes my AMOG, "yeah his grandma made it for him." The asshole says "Dude you're helping him out!" I laugh and walk away, having won the set.

I head into the main room and pass by a 3-set of drunken college chicks when HB7 (face), HB6 (body) walks up to me and says she loves my hat. We jump to immediate kino and she's all over me, feeling me up and I return the kino. My wing starts busting on her and her friend, I run a few banter lines ("you guys are trouble, I should get a note from my mommy before I hang out with you"). I run the best friends test, they pass, and I try to C&F them but they are so drunk that it doesn't really matter at this point. I'm not entirely sure how to handle drunk chicks, so I feel powerless when my routines fail. I get really close to her, we're stroking each other's bodies, and we're about 1 inch from kissing. I'm a little shocked since this set went so well without any effort, so I can't remember the best way to kiss her. Of course all I need to do is run the Mystery Kiss Close, but I forget to do this and the second I remember it, her roommate comes in and says they need to go. I was successfully cockblocked and I didn't know how to handle her, so I lost the set.

Then on the way home, I run into a 2-set (also entirely drunk) of HB7 and HB8. The HB8 has those light sticks from the casino night, so I grab one and say "on guard!" We start doing a jedi light saber fight and are whipping each other when her friend HB7 interrupts and tells me to stop harassing her friend. I return that we're just having fun and calm down. She continues to harass and I turn to HB8, "hey is this girl always like this? How do you roll with her?" HB7 is pissed and continues to wax angry, saying she's going to call the police. I laugh and say whatever, you've got nothing on me. I run a few negs on her but she's so angry and drunk that she doesn't pay attention. After a few minutes, HB8 starts crying because HB7 keeps on the phone calling the police.

I walk away when a cop car shows up. The cop gets out and asks me to stop and talk, and we start into a conversation. He runs a power trip on me but I calmly return I'm perfectly sober and that this girl is annoying me. I tell him what happened and he talks to HB7 who called; HB8 is totally in tears at this point. The cop comes back and I say that these girls are drunk and need to go home, and that I was not harassing anyone but I'm not going to stand for this immature behavior. He says yeah, "fuck 'em" and they're drunk, so he says have a good night.

We get to the pizza place on the way home when the asshole from earlier and his friend show up. I try to be cool and say "hey what's up Webster?" (he looked like a tall, Indian version of Webster) My friend gets super pissed that this guy was talking shit and the pizza guy asks us to leave so we don't get into a fight. We get outside and wait for a few minutes when they come out, and the friend throws down his pizza and says he wants to fight my friend. An independent friend rolls in and says we should all calm down and not get into a fight. My friend is HUGE and would have ripped this guy's head off, but he's applying to med schools next year so I don't want his record hurt. We eject and I warn the Indian jerk to shut the hell up and keep it down unless he wants his ass kicked.

Now I'm back at home typing up this FR. What I learned tonight:

I have 0 game in super loud environments.
You must befriend her friends, even if she is all over you. I failed to do this because I was so caught up in kino with the girl.
My routines don't work on drunk girls.
Drunk girls don't understand banter.
It is possible that some girls don't understand banter at all and rely entirely on their looks.
Use the Mystery Kiss Close whenever you're in a drunk set.

Have a good night. Tomorrow is day game.

Prizing

2006-05-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

I have only one thing to post this week: prize yourself.

I've been listening to Swinggcat's audio course and the underlying theme that Swinggcat reinforces again and again is that the man must be the prize that women want to chase. This is simple in theory but takes a lot of deprogramming to understand. Over the past 30-40 years, all of our media has portrayed the beautiful woman as the prize that guys must fight to get. As it turns out, women don't typically care for these men (there is no challenge), and consequently there is little to no attraction for a guy who prizes the girl. So in order to really get good at your inner game, start by seeing yourself as a prize.

Imagine you were the hottest and richest guy on the planet, and you could have any girl you chose. Imagine your interactions with any woman you met -- whatever she said, whatever she did, you would chuckle and be amused at her attempts to sleep with you. This sort of maneuver drives women crazy and is the opposite of what 99% of guys out there do. So if she blows you out of the water, laugh and say "that's so cute!" The key is, of course, to believe it, but fortunately you can fake it until you make it.

Looking back, this is a mistake I made with all my previous girlfriends who lost attraction for me. I felt they were the hot prize that I had "won" by being nice or whatever. From now on, I'm the hottie that every girl wants, and I'll be nice and let her have a chance to talk to me.

This is the foundation for all seduction schools, although Swinggcat is really the one who formalizes it.

Alright, enough theory for now, I'm heading back to my alma mater this Friday so I'm hoping to post some FRs or LRs.

How to Get Good at Pickup

2006-05-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

In order to get really good at pickup, you need to dedicate your life to it. Here's a snippet of an interview with Herbal, one of the original members of Project Hollywood. Read the full interview!

What advice would you give to newbies starting out, in order to greatly accelerate their learning curve?

I could write a book here. Take a workshop, first of all. I was always too proud to take a workshop. I didn't need to spend money to get good. It's true - I didn't, but I would have gotten much better much faster if I had.

Now I'm fortunate enough to be friends with most of the seminar and workshop people, so I can sit in, but it's not the same. If I could go back and pay to have a real workshop, I'd do it. I had no idea how high quality these programs were (specifically Mystery, RSD, Pickup 101, and The Approach).

After you take your workshop, go out religiously. I taught with Mystery for a while, and the people who got good were the people who applied what they learned.

Also - dedicate your life to it. EVERYONE who has gotten very good has done this. It's equally important to take a step back later and see what's stuck with you. But in the beginning - dedicate your life to it.

I MOVED ACROSS THE COUNTRY to get involved. I had a house in Austin that I kept paying the mortgage on while I was in LA. I literally spent all of my savings on the deposit for my chunk of Project Hollywood and had no idea how I was going to pay the rent when I got
there.

You're not going to get good starting out two nights a week on your own. It just won't happen. Surround yourself with people who are GREAT (not your fellow AFC friends who are also learning). Go out a lot.

Pickup is both the hardest skill you'll ever learn and the most important. Everyone I know who is any good will say it's the most important thing they've learned, because it applies to EVERYTHING, not just women. I have better relationships with friends, family, and business associates because of it. Do what it takes to get this.

This is an inspirational interview. Please read it.

Again on Feminism

2006-05-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

It's funny that everything I was taught about women (by my mother, sisters, media) is wrong. Feminists were always so angry that men would objectify women and treat them like sex objects, and I was brought up believing that. I never even thought of commenting on a girl's beauty in front of another girl, and certainly I would never want her to imagine I wanted her for sex! I remember the first time I felt up my first girlfriend down below, she stopped me and said, "Are you just trying to get sex out of me?" I being the AFC said, "No, I love you and I can't believe you thought I wanted sex!"

Of course I was lying to her AND myself because I intellectually believed I didn't just want sex, but emotionally and biologically I did! Juggler makes a similar reference to this:

You think you are being respectful [to women] but you are only protecting yourself by playing it safe. Women find safe guys boring. Take some chances and up the ante. It's ironic. Once you start creating more sexual vibes you will see that it's not even a risky thing to do but rather something women welcome.

It's amazing! Feminism was completely wrong, and what do we have as a result of years of anti-male propaganda? A nation full of AFCs ("a generation raised by women", says Tyler Durden in Fight Club). I guess that means it will be easier for me to score with women, but it's pretty rough rewiring my brain and deprogramming years and years of conditioning.

Breaks

2006-05-10T16:20:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a break from posting my daily thoughts on the PU community, the game, etc. because I'm not getting anywhere right now. I am, however, excited to begin my training and identify with a guy who posted a review of the Charisma Arts bootcamp. Read his review here.

I'm going to stick to inner game over the next few weeks, and then I am going to unleash myself into the field again after having recharged my batteries. Night game in Seattle is so disappointing when it's cold out that I really just don't want to play.

Pickup 101 Gaining Momentum

2006-05-05T14:22:00.000-07:00

Check out this most recent article in the San Francisco State University newspaper about Pickup 101. I particularly like how the author thinks Lance Mason et al. are so much better than Mystery or Style because they are real teachers (and Lance is a natural, anyway). There's a great line from Style in the article:

Strauss and other original pick-up artists had no idea The Game and the business subculture would become such a phenomenon. “We never had any idea that it would be so huge with hundreds of thousands of guys,” he says. He thinks it’s the beginning of a men’s self-help movement that’s years in the making compared to similar women’s factions. “Just pick up a Cosmo,” says Strauss. “There has been a culture of advice for women years in the making.”

This is another reason I think the community is great: it's a global fraternity with no dues. This truly may be the beginning of a solid men's movement to de-pussify our male populace. I was watching Fight Club last night and noticed some of the banter between Tyler and, well, himself:

"We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need."

Then of course there is his kick-ass quote during a fight club gathering:

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

I never felt so strongly connected with this movie until I entered the community. Wow! This game really is going to change my entire reality this summer.

The Road to Van Wilder

2006-05-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

I picked the alias Van Wilder because his character in the movie is similar to what I would like to be: the guy who everyone wants to be, the guy who every girl wants to be with; charismatic, good looking, funny, and fun. When I chose the alias after having learned about the community, I was curious how I would ever become more of that role. Given what I've been reading about over the past few weeks, I am confident that yes, I will be able to become that person (or at least as close as possible). It's an exciting feeling because I never knew how I would do it, but now I am pretty confident I will. And it's all thanks to the basic idea of vibing. Game on!

Training with Mango

2006-05-02T16:23:00.000-07:00

I've been watching Mango's blog (You're My New Girlfriend) for some time now and have really enjoyed his posts. I've rolled with guys in Seattle who use MM or pure C&F, but I haven't really felt the natural aspect of their game yet. Mango's game seems simple, learnable, and, most importantly, fun. So I've been in talks with him and I've decided to train with him for four days on his home turf in San Francisco later in May. In the meantime, I've got to practice as much as I can up here with lots of day game.

So what's on the radar right now? More inner game. I want to finish my inner game books as well as the Deep Inner Game series by DavidD. That should be the task for this week, as well as some Saturday day game and some Sunday Church Game. After I complete my inner game readings, I'm going to read the books How to Talk to Anyone and How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, both by Leil Lowndes. These books are both highly recommend by the PU community for improving your interactions with women.

By the time I finish all this inner game and a touch of outer game, I should be ready for a solid weekend with Mango. When I return to Seattle, it's going to be an awesome summer. Perhaps I'll even get to post my first LR. My goal is to merge my real-world personality with that presented in the movie Van Wilder. At that point I will have self-actualized.

Running into Gamers

2006-05-01T00:12:00.000-07:00

My wing Valentino and I headed to Diwan to chill and enjoy some hookah. A "natural" guy I had met at Zaina (who had AMOG'd me by the way and stole my HB7) walks up to me and sits down to enjoy some hookah. Two of his friends show up and we start talking game. Apparently these three guys are some of the best PUAs in the city and gave us all sorts of tips and tricks about the game. They know the places to sarge, the way to talk to girls, how to avoid bitchy girls, etc. I'm really excited to roll with these guys and learn whatever I can.

They confirmed a suspicion we had about Seattle: this city is really hard if you want to run night game. While Seattle apparently has a ridiculously high female:male ratio, the girls never go out at night so the bars and clubs are always butcher shops. They reinforced our theory that day game is absolutely critical in Seattle, so my wing Valentino and I are going to sarge Bel. Square tomorrow.

I'm super excited to roll with these real PUAs who walk the walk. This should be an awesome summer.

This Week: Inner Game

2006-04-30T00:53:00.000-07:00

Shhhhhhh... I have a secret: I think I still have depression. I've been avoiding it at all costs, but this week I am returning to inner game issues. I was hoping I could escape them by sarging, but they never seem to escape me. To conquer these issues, tomorrow morning I'm heading over to Noah's Bagels to grab a cup of coffee, and then I will proceed to the nearby UW library to read a few books on self-improvement. Both are related to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which is proven to be at least as effective as anti-depressants. The two titles I am reading tomorrow:

Robert Anthony's The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence
David Burns' Feeling Good

I'm hoping these books will give me the tools required to weed out insecurities and help escalate my inner game, which is the most important game. I hope that once my inner game issues are addressed appropriately, I can train with real PUAs and work on the outer game.

Reports forthcoming!

The Matrix

2006-04-30T00:22:00.000-07:00

When describing to friends what it's like to enter the PUA community, I frequently refer back to the Matrix. Neo is shown how the real world is, and he physically can't stomach how this real world is compared to what he's been taught his whole life. He throws up and passes out after having seen reality. I find my own experience similar to this. The idea that probably 15% of men sleep with 75% of women, that women are biologically motivated to cheat on their partners, that any relationship which is 50/50 is doomed to failure, that you need to unlearn what you've learn -- and pretty much do the opposite of what your mother told you to do regarding women. There is an entire secret society of men out there who sleep with the majority of women! (Tyler Durden claims that 2% of men sleep with all of the women)

It's a lot to handle, but it's the real world. You can either accept it or take the blue pill and go back to believing "whatever you want to believe" as Morpheus said to Neo.

I guess my question is how can I go back to the old world? How can I re-insert myself into the matrix? I can't at this point. I can only go on to see the matrix and conquer it. I've got to admit that seeing the matrix is really powerful. I've seen it probably three or four times, but it was mind blowing.

Welcome to the real world.

Rainy Day, Gaming?

2006-04-29T17:43:00.000-07:00

It's raining outside in Seattle today but I'm not gaming at Barnes & Noble, although I did find it target rich when I was going to pick up my new journal. (I tried to find a cool seductive journal but failed, then I was going for a nice leather-bound journal, but I refuse to spend $40 for a notebook, so I went for a $7 journal with a funny picture of Shakespeare on the front)

This is a good day to spend inside studying because gaming is hard when it's raining. It's not just that there are fewer people outside, but because people aren't as happy when it's raining. I slept in today, read a little bit, and now am watching the Lance Mason video on kino. It's really good stuff, but only a smaller part of a bigger puzzle for me.

I was out gaming with friends last night but again realized how much I need to work on vibing and overcoming anxiety. It's not just approach anxiety; it's talking to new people anxiety. I can feel my pulse rise right when I start a new conversation with a girl, and I'm already worried about what's going to happen before I say hello. So I'm going to take care of that in May when I do my first real training.

In the meanwhile, I'm going to spend this weekend in study. I need to finish the Lance Mason video and then read the book Total Self-Confidence. I'm trying to improve my inner confidence, which is absolutely important for inner gaming. Given my own problems of inner game from the past, one of the biggest steps is actually rewiring my inner thoughts and repairing damage from the past. Tomorrow I may watch the whole David DeAngelo Cocky Comedy series, or I'll just read the book Feeling Good (on the subject of cognitive behavioral therapy).

This game is crazy difficult though to get started! I know once you really pass this first hurdle and start opening sets left and right, you'll be able to move onto the next level, but I really think those first few hurdles are the most difficult. Never give up, never surrender! I do think this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

Mystery was right about PUAs: you're either a PUA or an AFC. There is no middle ground (let us call it RAFC), and it's like you're swimming between two islands. Fortunately, I have wings.

Juggler and Charisma Arts

2006-04-26T22:11:00.000-07:00

The two schools of thought I like the most thus far in the community are Pickup 101 and Charisma Arts. Both emphasize vibing with people and generally being a more charismatic person--the type of person that women (and men) are naturally drawn towards. Have you ever known a guy who just seems to have an aura to him? You can't see it (well maybe you can), but you can feel his energy and you're just glad to be around him? I believe this does exist, although I don't know what the physical reasoning behind it is. Those are the types of guys I want to become. My cousin in Texas is very much like this, and he can naturally vibe with anyone and get almost any girl he wants. In fact, he has offered to let me crash at his mansion in Houston once it is completed if, and only if, I can maintain three girls in my guest house at any given time. So my goal in Seattle is to learn how to build a harem. Thankfully, I will train with those who know how to do just that.

I started into Juggler's eBook, How to Be a Pick Up Artist, and I'm really liking it so far. I'm generally a sociable guy, especially with friends, but I'm shy around people I don't know well, or even if I do open them up, I'm not as good at keeping conversations flowing as I would like. But this will all change. There's a great quotation early on in his eBook that really excites me:

Asked to describe his type of woman, a PUA is hard pressed to come up with an answer. He can spend time with a wide range of women because he knows he is not stuck with anyone. His freedom of choice makes him a more loving and accepting person. His life truly becomes an adventure. He influences others to live happier lives and the world becomes a better place. If there were more pick-up artists, there would be an end to war, dogs would make peace with cats, and Ben Affleck would stop making movies. Every man, woman and Canadian should become a pick-up artist.

That's what I want: I want my life to be a neverending adventure. Most of my life thus far, while enjoyable, seems to have long periods of dry spouts, and if becoming a PUA truly makes my life an adventure and morphs me into the charismatic guy I know I am supposed to be, then I will do whatever it takes to get there!

High Five

2006-04-26T15:48:00.000-07:00

I love the idea that PUAs are bringing back the high-five. Every school I've seen teaches using high-fives religiously to initiate kino. A year ago before I heard about the community, I can't imagine having given someone I just met (especially a girl) a high-five!

No kisses so far in 2006

2006-04-25T17:14:00.000-07:00

I was re-reading Fabz's post on inner game issues and realized he and I are in the same boat. While I may post more on this soon, one thing he mentioned in particular that got me was his mentioning that any girl who is remotely interested in him becomes his one-itis. I will admit that as much theory as I know and as much typing I can do into this blog and into the Seattle Lair, I have not had one kiss since my one-itis last year. (summer 2005) This is hard for me to swallow, of course, and I've actually avoided numerous potentials I've had since then. But perhaps my one-itis is just because I haven't kissed a girl since then? Let's see what happens when I get my first *close, or hell even date, with a girl and feel that feeling again.

It's hard to imagine how bad I am at this stuff, despite my high intelligence, but once I get "out of my head" as they say, perhaps I'll be singing another tune. My goal is to make the summer of 2006 the best summer ever!

Status Report nearing May Day

2006-04-25T11:56:00.000-07:00

I reset my countdown script to September 1st because that is about one year after I first discovered the community. Why did I cast the net from May 1? Well, my goal for May 1 was to triple my score, but along this path I found that I had a lot deeper inner issues than I had previously thought. I'm finding when I'm in a set, I freeze up a lot because I'm still not comfortable with the girls with whom I'm interacting. Perhaps I'm not comfortable with myself? I was in a cougar-infested bar a week ago and a girl pretty much whispered to me, I'm 34 and trying to find a young guy to fuck me. To most guys, when an attractive older woman would say this, they would reply "Sounds good, let's go." But me, I froze up and didn't know what to do. I find this fucked up because I have, in fact, had girlfriends in the past and have had sex, but I'm still uncomfortable with girls I don't know well.

Anyway, so I'm still tackling inner game issues and I'm also looking to really escalate my game this summer by paying for it. How so? I've been talking with Mango down in San Francisco, an instructor with Pickup 101. We've had a lot of great talks so far and I'm looking to roll with him in a few weeks so he can teach me everything he knows over four solid days of gaming. I really enjoyed my conversations with him because he has proven to me that his game is the natural type of game I want:

I want to be the guy who rolls into a bar and owns it by the end of the night.
I want to be the guy that girls are approaching because his social proof is through the roof.
I want to be the guy who has girls calling him each week for booty.
I want to be the selector, not the selectee.
I want to be picky.
I want to live in a world of abundance, not scarcity.
I want to have to ask myself the question, "which girl should I see tonight?"
I want to make pickup part of my life and enhance all aspects of it.
I want to date high-quality, beautiful women. (preferably blondes with blue eyes)
I want to have several girlfriends at the same time.
Ultimately, I want to narrow down my search some day, years from now, and decide on a mate for life -- but this will not be for a while. This mate will need to be my best friend and battle partner.
In the meanwhile, I want a harem.
I want to date beautiful, intelligent, fun, athletic, and funny girls.
I never want to get one-itis again.
I want to get this part of my life handled so I can move on to the next chapter.

Mango's game is very natural and I'm very much attracted to it. I don't like the idea of bringing props along with me into a set, but I like the idea of vibing with a set and fucking with girls' minds. I like the idea of girls walking away thinking I'm a rockstar and hoping that I call them. I want to be the guy who has girls all over him without even trying. I like the idea of having 2 day2's on the same day. I want to post LRs rather than just theory.

I know I can do all of this, but it's just a question of getting there. It's a long road, but Mango claims I can really improve my game within a few months of solid practice. I will keep you posted, O Blog, so that I may look back three months from now and say, "wow, I was still such an AFC back then!"

Kill Bill 2

2006-04-23T13:08:00.000-07:00

I think I should start sarging the Seattle au pairs more. I'm finding American women far too spoiled, like the great Pai Mei said in Kill Bill 2:

Pai Mei: Just like all Yankee women, all you are good at is ordering in restaurants--and spending a man's money!

The non-American women I know in Seattle seem so much friendlier and more genuine. I'll see about targeting Eastern Europe, but I won't limit myself. I met an HB8 French girl at salsa dancing last week, there is a cute German au pair I met the other night, and then I'm told there are two hot new au pairs, one Australian and one Brazilian. I think I'll be sarging the au pair gathering this Tuesday.

I'm still going through DavidD's On Being a Man video series today (on DVD3). It's powerful stuff. I love DavidD--I think some day, if I'm ever rich, I'll have to cut him a fat check for helping me fix myself up internally. Right now he's talking about how you must be voluntarily single first and build a happy single life before you can start entering relationships with women.

To love a woman, we must first leave women behind.

This isn't to say you can't have one or two FBs to fulfill your biological needs, so I'm hoping to get a few of those first. The path to victory is set! Fix my inner game issues (HUGE), build up my happy single life, have a few FBs along the way, then start looking for an LTR. Then I can start my own company and live the life I always wanted. But it all starts by working those inner game issues. I feel like I'm trying to untie a long tangled rope, although I'm still trying to see the rope and feel the knots. Once I find a way to untie it all, maybe I'll be victorious. Steve P, I'm looking in your direction!

Morphine Relationships

2006-04-22T18:44:00.000-07:00

I remember reading in the Game that Juggler commented on Style, saying how he thought Style was trying to find happiness in his life by filling a void with women. I understand that intellectually but haven't fully grasped it yet. For me, affection and love with women is so powerful and always brings me joy, but as I remember previous girlfriends now, I am starting to realize that success with women does not equate to happiness. It's hard to grasp at this stage in the game, but I do see how it will become more important down the line. One thing Style did say that the best way to pick up women is to be a legitimately happy (and of course confident) guy. So many people are unhappy and insecure but they try to fix this by getting into relationships that they think will bring them joy. This joy is, however, temporary.

Watching more On Being a Man by DavidD, he drops an important point:

Money, power, and success with women NEVER solves inner problems, and NEVER creates happiness by itself.

I look back at my previous failures with women (e.g. my one-itis) and it does bring me a smile because I realize that what I was seeking with those women was love and acceptance and maternal nurturing qualities that I lack because of my own mother's death when I was 16. So with women I am trying to find happiness, but happiness lies within. It sounds corny and trite but it's true; I just wish I knew how to get there. If only DavidD would point me in the right direction!

This goes back to my analogy for people who get into LTRs to find validation for their existence or purely to seek happiness: they have inner problems, so the affection of another brings them temporal relief. In actuality, however, this is more like giving morphine to someone dying from internal bleeding: they will feel great for a while, but it doesn't solve the inner problem. I know so many guys and girls who are in, what I like to call, "morphine relationships."

Struggle

2006-04-22T17:55:00.000-07:00

I'm again suffering from information overload and not enough solid game plan, and I reached a point today where I wanted to throw in the towel and give up the whole pickup game. But I know intellectually that what this means is that I'm frustrated from the scope of this game but also that success is just around the corner, so don't give up yet. I'm going to watch some more DavidD to keep me calm for now, so I can learn how to be a man that is naturally attractive to women.

I was talking with my cousin in TX recently (he's a natural) and telling him that I'm studying the pickup arts. He said, "Cous, you've got it all inside you already; you're just bringing it out!" He's absolutely right, but what bothers me is what is holding it all back? What is keeping me from reaching my potential? I wonder... DavidD suggests that we came pre-wired knowing how to talk to women on a sexual level, so why don't we? We didn't develop that potential.

Anyway, I'm going to be doing two primary tasks this summer: pickup and weightlifting. In the fall I hope to join a fraternity at UW so I can be on the regular sarge-list of campus. Who knows, by then I may be one of the best PUAs in Seattle. My wings say I will be better than they are, even though I'm far behind them both right now. I'll take that as a compliment, although I don't understand how they mean that.

On Being a Man

2006-04-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

I just started into DavidD's On Being a Man series, and I want to underline the main theme:

The boy must die.

The inner boy that is preventing you from being a real man... well, he's got to die.

Thoughts at Six Months

2006-04-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

I recently engaged in a discussion with the head of the Seattle Lair, Kjell. He was arguing that the game is too fake and people need to be real and genuine, but I am countering that the game is just what makes them become more real and genuine. I sent a message that others have liked a lot, so I posted it here as well because it sums up my current position. I'm six months into the game, I haven't really had one truly successful cold approach that led to a #close or *close, but I still have done stuff I never imagined I would before, and I am confident that if I stick with it, I will figure it out. Here's my message:

I find a lot of value in judging the game AS a game because it takes away the difficulty associated with losing. I know lots of guys who are not in the community who get one-itis over one girl, and if they can't get this one girl their life is over. Or they have five close female friends who tell them about their horrible boyfriends while that guy is in love with them all, secretly hoping they will like him "for who he is" or see how awesome of a person he is like in all the post-90s movies. (FYI... most movies nowadays seem to have the AFC getting the girls, which we all know simply doesn't work -- it's always affection-based rather than attraction-based; it's highly unlikely that Spiderman would have gotten his girl in real life since she'd be all over the rich asshole).

I've found a lot of value in David D's material, far beyond his cocky-funny stuff. In fact I enjoy the theory he discusses more than anything else. More than anything else, he's helping a lot of guys exercise their inner wuss and turn themselves into a man, much like Edmund Dantes in the Count of Monte Cristo. (watch DavidD's Deep Inner Game series... it's pretty powerful stuff that I've already used in my life outside of the realm of women with strong results)

However it is difficult to generalize an entire community of individuals. I know I associate myself very much with Style in the Game more than any other PUA out there, and I'm sure there are guys who prefer to be just like Mystery or Badboy or Juggler. But are people really picking up bad traits? I know my life has already improved significantly as a result of joining this community, and I'm not talking about dealing with women.

Three short examples:

Example 1: I just entered the game around August after a severe case of one-itis. I haven't read the book The Game yet, but I've gone to ASF and all I really know is the 3s rule and to say hello. After a week of entry, I'm sent back to my college on a recruiting trip armed with those two rules. The first night out in the college bar, I open up probably six sets. I don't get any #closes, but I have a lot of fun and actually meet a lot of people. After about ten minutes opening sets, I can feel my social proof rising and my presence in the room increasing. I kid you not, I start seeing girls who want me to open them up. One girl waves at me across the room; another girl is engaged in a 2-set with some AFC and gives a little smile my way. Another girl literally walks up to me on the street later that night and says "hey! who are you?" This was the best one for me because it signified something symbolic for me: who am I? I'm definitely not the kid who graduated here a year ago. I don't hook up with any girls this week, but I find out later that I had chances with probably four that I opened. I was still fresh out off the AFC boat, so I didn't know what to do at this point anyway!

Example 2: I'm in the Caribbean in December with my family. It's typical: we're bored hanging around each other and conversation is getting lame. I see an HB8 sitting by the wet bar with a young child. She looks like a really sweet girl just from her smile from a distance. What would the old AFC self do? He'd think "aw she's cute, maybe some day I will meet a girl like that." What does the RAFC Van Wilder do? He says "I'm going to meet her!" I walk right up to her and say hello! We chat for a bit, it turns out she's a babysitter and the kid is the son in the family. I introduce my family and we all have a great conversation about whatever. My dad refers to her as "my girlfriend" for the rest of the trip and my AFC brothers/sisters are asking me what we're doing. She's bored as hell because her host family goes to bed at 9 PM and she doesn't know anyone, so we have a great time hanging out the rest of the week. She has a boyfriend, but she still makes for a great friend while I'm there.

Example 3: I'm at a wedding this past weekend in NYC, high on life because NYC is a target-rich environment. I see a super cute HB9 (from Seattle actually) and her mom. My friend next to me says "who's the hot blond over there?" My old AFC self would say "I dunno man, but she's hot" and inside I'd be thinking "I wish I could have a girl that hot... damn!" But what does the RAFC Van Wilder do? He says to his AFC friend, "I dunno who she is, but I'm going to find out!" I head right over to her and her mom and open them up: "Hey why aren't you two cuties dancing on the floor?" Instant high value from the confidence and total social proof from the mom who boosted me up right on the spot for her daughter. I ended up dancing with her and her sister and friends for the next hour and we had an awesome time.

Would I ever have done this stuff a year ago? Nope, I'd be chilling in the corner, drinking scotch on the rocks with some friends, bullshitting about whatever, wishing I had a cute girl with whom to spend my life.

These are three short tales of some things I've done that don't involve fucking a girl I met in under 8 hours of interaction but at the same time have improved my own quality of life. I've met more people, I'm more friendly -- it's great. My dress is improving, my confidence is slowly rising, and even my posture is improving. I'm slowly starting to erase that sort of depressed coziness that comes along with the negative mentality that I should just accept I'm terrible with women and I'll never figure it out until I'm rich -- a mentality that plagued me for years before my initiation to the community.

I know most of you maybe don't have stories as extreme as mine, but maybe you do! It doesn't matter to me; this whole community, to me, is a network of guys out to help each other improve. "Scores" with women are really definitive metrics for benchmarking improvements, but I would argue that overall life happiness is what's really increasing. And nothing bad comes from people who are happier and more fulfilled.

Have a great day everyone. It's raining outside today but the future is bright and shiny.

The game is a wonderful thing, and the community is a fantastic electronic fraternity of guys helping each other. There are some slimeballs out there, but most guys you find in the community are really just trying to be accepted by others (especially women).

Pivots are AWESOME

2006-04-11T13:14:00.000-07:00

On the Mystery Forum, one post provides a crash course in learning pickup (in 2 days). One crucial element is seeking style advice from a female friend:

2) Upgrade your appearance. Get a haircut. Visit a tanning booth (just once, for now). Buy a new shirt. Buy new cologne. Clean/polish/buy new shoes. Clip your nails. Exfoliate. Consult a female friend for help with all of the above. If she doesn't jump at the chance, you picked the wrong female friend.

This is so crucial and I can't understand why women always jump at the opportunity! I asked a pretty hot pivot of mine (HB9) that I am looking to upgrade my appearance and she jumped at the opportunity to help me. It's like it became her mission in life to work on me. Women really are amazing creatures!

We're hitting up the stores in a week or so to see what we can do. This should be a blast.

Cities and Chicks

2006-04-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

I'm in NYC this weekend visiting friends and family, and I'm hoping to meet up with two RPUAs out here connected to my wing Zan. They're both MM alum and are getting out of their LTRs ASAP to get back into the game. I had forgotten how target rich this city is! Seattle probably has 51% women just like most cities, but it certainly doesn't seem like it. I haven't been to one bar yet where there were an equal number of women as men, and I was only recently at a party dominated by women (and it was our party). Here in NYC, I'm seeing women everywhere! It's amazing!

I'm hoping in the future to use a technique Mango mentioned to me where we can challenge ourselves to go pick up girls specifically to load a party. Maybe once he teaches us in person, we'll both become PUAs too. It's hard to imagine that I, Van Wilder, can become a PUA some day, but I am not going to give up on this.

It's the most exciting game I've ever played.

Social Proof

2006-04-05T13:50:00.000-07:00

Indy had incredibly high social proof at his birthday party (much like Style did in the Game). He was in-state and on fire the entire night, and it was amazing to watch him in action. The only 2 girls there not locked to their AFC LTR boyfriends were these two cute Russian girls, including a 6' one that stood higher than me with her shoes. The other one had an easy 38C cup and a pretty nice body on top of it. We suspected they were party girls, and later we confirmed it.

I opened the 38C HB because she works on my floor, and this was a great way to open her 6' HB8. I wasn't in state so it was AFC conversation and I wasn't flirty or fun, but it was a beginning and I ejected and retreated to the dance floor. I didn't ask girls to dance; I just took their hands and said "let's go dance, girl!" Most of them responded to it without question (I suppose it's because the alpha male will always wins out over a female's will).

I return to the bar and find Indy opening the 2-set of Russians, so I join him in. "Van is the coolest guy you'll ever meet," he says to start me out into the set. Indy is super quick on his feet and starts pulling a photo routine with the girls. I've got the tall girl around my arm and he's got the 38C HB around his, and he starts taking "cute couples" photos of us. I'm still in AFC mode but warming up, but I start to play along and flirt with the HB8. Indy says "OK, do the 'grab-his-ass' movie shot" and she does! Then we take pics of Indy with 38C HB doing the same.

What I learned is that it's incredibly easy to get girls to do what you want them to do if you just fucking tell them to do it! Rather than AFC'ing and saying, "you know, well, if you wouldn't mind, would you like to take a picture with me?" you just say "hey smile for the camera." It's almost like we don't give them a choice!

By the end of the night the HB8 was talking to me and getting my vibe, but her attitude was negative overall so it turned me off. I would still nail her in a heartbeat since she had an incredible body, but I figured we'd see them again soon and go to bars with them as well. She's leaving in a month so I'll need to hurry up. :-)

I love it and I'm looking forward to more gaming. I've got two solid wings and we're preparing to amplify our game in the next few months. I'll post more later, but it should be a blast.

LTRs

2006-03-30T09:34:00.000-08:00

Are all LTRs supposed to be emotionally draining? A part of me really likes the affection you receive in an LTR, but the PUA part would prefer to have 2-3 casual relationships requiring no real emotional commitment.

That's my inner dilemma: the AFC still wants an LTR, but the PUA wants to become a PUA and eradicate the DavidD "Inner Wuss."

Online Sarging

2006-03-30T07:35:00.000-08:00

Why is it that only fat chicks post on Craigslist? Jeepers creepers!

Day Gaming!

2006-03-29T11:01:00.000-08:00

I can't emphasize enough how awesome day gaming is vs. night gaming. During the day, women are friendly and open to strange conversation. When you're night gaming in a highly sociable setting like a bar, women have their bitch shields up high and will take total pleasure in knocking you down. So hit the local mall, coffee shops, and book stores this weekend and start opening up every one you see!

This Friday is Indy's birthday party. Valentino and I are going to peacock ourselves out and sarge his own party! His social proof should be through the roof and we're planning to game beforehand to put us into full state. It should be a fun night, but I'll keep you posted.

Right now I'm trying to find a comfortable divide for my time between studying and practicing. You can't just go out and practice non-stop without having studied, but you can't just study all the time and not practice. I'm thinking 30-40% of time should be spent in study while the rest is dedicated to practice. If only I could take the bus to work, I could read a lot on the way. Hmm, not a bad idea...

Comfort with Myself?

2006-03-25T10:28:00.000-08:00

It seems to me a lot of the approach anxiety comes from a feeling that I, myself, and umcomfortable with myself. People will say how easy it is to tell when you don't look comfortable "in your own skin" and I agree, and I can tell when I'm not feeling comfortable in my own skin: it happens all the time, especially in crowded bars when I'm forced to run cold approaches.

What causes this? Is it some internal fear of rejection? Or is it something deeper? Maybe some internal hatred or lack of self-love? I'm not sure exactly what causes it, but I am going to fight it as much as I can. I'm watching Deep Inner Gaming all tomorrow with Indy, and then I'll probably read Total Self-Confidence and Feeling Good. I will get to the bottom of this! It's all about the inner gaming, baby.

Target-Rich Environments

2006-03-24T13:35:00.000-08:00

Seattle is an unusual city in that there are few attractive, intelligent, and fun women running around. (that tri-force is so hard to get, but oh so worth it) Perhaps the overcast climate forces women to cover up and thus hide from my radar, but I could not confirm my theory until I had a few friends come and visit me. Each one would note that after a few days of going out, they noticed there were very few women out on the town, even on a Thursday or Friday night. In contrast, when I go traveling to San Francisco, New York, DC, or Austin, I find myself swamped in target-rich environments.

So what is a PUA to do? There are really a few plausible options short of joining the priesthood or changing teams and moving to Capitol Hill (gay central in Seattle). You can either find yourself an LTR and take yourself out of the game, you can leave the city entirely, or you can make the best of it by looking harder.

Indy and I are avoiding LTRs at all cost and we can't leave the city for at least six months, so we must move on to option 3. We started day-gaming during our lunch hour and would run off to the nearby mall or college campus to sarge the locals. We found department stores are target-rich at all times, even during a lazy Tuesday noon hour. Community colleges are packed with lower intelligent but higher attractive HBs (since I'm not looking for LTRs, I'm really lowering my standard on intelligence and focusing on my ability to generate attraction and build rapport). And you've always got the option of yoga or pilates classes.

But you want to know the best target-rich environment available, especially in Seattle? Dancing! I went to the Century Ballroom last night with Indy and did an introductory salsa class, and I met some of the most fun, cute, and intelligent girls in the shortest amount of time. Not only can I show off my body (well, it's not amazing yet, but I'm getting there), but approach anxiety completely goes away and I can engage in kino instantly. Some girls were squeezing my biceps and shoulders, and one girl kept squeezing my hands as a direct IOI. Unfortunately the cutest girl of the night did not give me the same IOIs, but Indy is inviting her friend (and hopefully her) to a party next weekend, so I will have a chance to regame her, hopefully with cocky-funny (not sure if I'll be great at Juggler yet).

So I'm signing up for salsa classes very soon and I intend to dance twice per week to get better. Indy and I also noticed how happy and energetic we felt after dancing with girls before we go sarging. We were both charged and in state, ready to open up HBs all over town. So I think I found a great hybrid of improving my dancing skills, meeting young HBs regularly (and a few cougars, to boot), getting some regular cardio to complement my weightlifting, and get myself in state. It was perfect!

You'll be seeing me at Century Ballroom a lot more soon. Hell I'll take classes at other ballrooms just to meet more HBs.

Movie: Just Friends

2006-03-20T22:04:00.000-08:00

Our friend from Van Wilder (Ryan Reynolds) returns as another PUA in the movie Just Friends. He starts out as a fat AFC in high school and turns himself into a high-status PUA later in life, making a hell of a bankroll to boot. By fate he returns home for a few days and reunites with the one-itis of his high school days, Jamie. He attempts to woo her with his amazing PU skills but finds that she no longer wants the asshole guys and misses the old AFC. There is a great scene where he actually tells himself before calling her, "You are a big pussy. The biggest pussy in the state. Pussy!" He calls her and acts like a total AFC.

So what happens? He fights for the girl and eventually wins her. This again reminds us that popular media always shows the AFC getting the girl, even though this isn't how the real world works. So sad, but the movie itself was hilarious.

Movie: The Pick-up Artist

2006-03-18T11:32:00.000-08:00

We just got a Blockbuster online subscription and one of the first movies I rented was The Pick-up Artist with Molly Ringwald and Robert Downey (not to mention a whole lot of cameo appearances by early 80's stars). For anyone interested in watching this as an instructional film, forget it. The only take away from this film is persistence. The main character, Jack, is a teacher but spends all of his free time attempting to pickup women. He violates some major rules of pickup (he pursues relentlessly, he approaches directly from behind, he uses some really corny pickup lines, and the greatest violation of supplication to gain favor with the girl by winning her $25,000 to pay off a debt), but to his credit his character never gives up and continues to hit on girls until he is blown out of the water or he succeeds.

The film ends as most movies on pickup end: the main character meets his match and turns into an AFC. This happens in about every movie I can remember involving PUAs (The Tao of Steve, Van Wilder, Just Friends), but that's what people really want to see.

I enjoyed watching it but I don't care to watch it again.

Deep Inner Gaming

2006-03-15T14:43:00.000-08:00

If you read this whole blog (good luck), you'll know that I had a horrible case of one-itis for the past 6-7 months. One man came to my rescue early on, Indy. He told me about the game and introduced me into the community, starting with Bristol Lair and the book, The Game. My life has not been the same since. No, I am not a PUA yet, but even as an RAFC I feel the difference in my existence. There is hope! There is power! My life is just beginning, not over, as I felt before (how depressing). I'm only 25 and I'm learning a skill that most men could not even imagine acquiring.

Indy got into an LTR about three weeks after he told me about the community, and while she was a great girl, it killed his game. He just got out and we are back! But we're starting from the most inner part of the game, the "inner game." To understand this better, we are regularly watching the David DeAngelo "Deep Inner Gaming" series. Even within the first hour of video, we've already started realizing a lot about ourselves and the way our brains work (for example, I estimated that I personally spend about 90% of my day living in the past or future, not the present, which is why making decisions or learning new things is so incredibly difficult).

We're going to spend an hour per day for the next 90 days reviewing this material so we understand it. I'll publish a full report on the series after we complete and describe if the "Mind OS" system can really make a huge difference in my life.

After Deep Inner Gaming, we're moving on to Cocky Comedy and then to the best outer gaming guru, Mystery. We're hoping to roll with Mystery some weekend in the next few months.

LTR vs. playing

2006-03-11T10:04:00.000-08:00

I have a strong internal conflict that is hard to fix. My father, friends, etc. keep telling me that I'm young and I should just be going out and having fun, and when I am out playing and see a pretty, fertile young female, I do want to sleep with her. However, my heart really just wants an LTR so I can come home to someone every night and cuddle up with them. This is painful because these interests collide when it comes to PU. Perhaps I will be able to find MLTRs where I can always have someone to call upon for sex or cuddling and watching movies, but I won't have to worry about the emotional drain that can be a single LTR?

Men have a HUGE Advantage!

2006-03-07T12:11:00.000-08:00

I am starting to realize what an enormous advantage I have over women. Young, fertile women seek older, experienced, stable, confident, high-status men. At the same time, high-status men seek young, fertile women. Women are only young and fertile until around age 31-34, after which their levels of attraction start dropping. Men, however, continue to mature and increase attraction indefinitely. So why do I feel the rush to get tied down into a relationship with a woman who's my own age? I'm at a HUGE advantage here because younger, hotter, more fertile women will always want to be with me as I get older, more mature, and more confident (i.e. more attractive).

This takes a huge load off my shoulders.

Older Women?

2006-03-05T13:29:00.000-08:00

I was in Queen Anne last night at a bar filled with 30+ year-old women (probably 50% divorced). One HB6 (body HB7) literally says to the girl next to me, "so I'm 34, not married, and all I want to do is find a nice 23 year old boy to fuck me." She then cozies up to me and does the typical female "I'm not going to open you but I'm hoping that you open me" maneuver, where she casually brushes my arm, will respond to conversation, but wants me to make the move. My problem is that it's loud in here with live music and I have 0 game with loud music. So I AFC and only exchange a few words of conversation, even though it's painfully obvious to everyone that she's throwing herself at me.

So I blew it... I had the chance to make a move and get this girl's number and have a solid FB, but I threw it all away. I think I have some really serious inner gaming issues here. Why would I not want to have sex with this attractive woman? I've got to fix this. I definitely want to hit up Paragon again sometime when there isn't live music blasting my eardrums. Having an older single woman on my speed dial could be a lot of fun, and I might learn a whole lot.

Seeing is Believing

2006-03-04T10:11:00.000-08:00

I had never seen two of the following:

A PUA take an HB7 from a group of 4 AFCs.
A short Asian kid #closing that same HB7.

Last night, I saw Passion do them both. I was amazed. Here's the story:

We had a crazy fun night sarging the U. District. Passion showed up and we hit up a few bars using female opinion openers. Then I encourage Passion, who is a 5'5" Asian kid, to open up a 5'9" white girl with a girlfriend-cheating opinion opener. She seems to reluctantly listen to his question, but then he moves onto a Saturday morning cartoon bit followed by some palm reading. He talks with her for probably five minutes and then she ejects. She sits down in a booth with 4 guys (2 on each side) who are obvious AFCs and want to hit on her but don't have a clue what to say. There's one AMOG AFC who continues to talk to her and make her laugh, hoping she will like him. Passion rolls into the set and starts telling them a story, attempting to draw attention away from the girl. Unfortunately, the HB picks up her phone right when he begins to AMOG and doesn't pay attention.

Passion doesn't give up. Ten minutes later he sees the HB talking with the 4 AFCs, all standing up this time, with the same AMOG AFC next to her. We say go and isolate her from the group, but he is reluctant. We keep pushing him and he goes for it. As he's going in, we're placing bets if he will succeed. He rolls in, grabs her by the arm, she says "Oh HI!" with a loud voice. He says, "Hey guys, I've gotta split, but I need to borrow her for a second." He grabs her by the hand, pulls her away, and gets her phone number. The AMOG AFC is literally staring at this entire sequence and is pissed beyond belief that this short Asian kid has just taken away his primary target. I go in to talk to the AFCs and tell the AMOG that I just saved a lot of money by switching to Geico, and he's clearly pissed because he knows I'm in Passion's group and Passion just took the girl he wanted. It was great reading his body language because you could see the desperation in his eyes.

It was amazing to watch. I'm a much firm believer in the female opinion openers. Women LOVE to give advice on anything relating to relationships.

The Rocket Analogy

2006-03-03T19:57:00.000-08:00

I see the game of pickup similar to a rocket taking off: it is at rest, doing nothing, like a boring beta male. Then it starts burning an enormous amount of energy but still doesn't go anywhere. Over 50% of its fuel will be burned going from 0 to flying faster than a bullet, at which point it is hurled into the heavens. That's how I view the game I'm playing now. I haven't had any real successes yet, even though I'm trying a lot and still getting nervous regularly when opening up girls. I feel if I could just have 1-3 solid patterns for seduction listed out in my mind, from hello to */f-close, I could really start taking off.

However, for now I'm just that rocket, burning tons of its fuel and trying to take off. Sigh.

Frat Parties are Fun

2006-03-02T14:30:00.000-08:00

I went to a frat party the other night after an invite from Asian Jeff from the Seattle Lair. It was a butcher shop, with probably 6 girls for 20 guys. There was a tall HB8 giving me instant IOIs as I entered, but I was AMOG'd by a frat brother. Frat parties can be a lot of fun, but it's difficult stepping on other brothers' shoes when it comes to the targets.

It was a great time and I got to meet some cool guys. Game on!

My New Car is Here!

2006-02-27T15:58:00.000-08:00

My next step at advancing my outer game is here: my new (used) Corvette has arrived in Seattle. Now is the time to trash my old car and find a really cheap used car to supplement my travels. Yeah, baby! It's hot, too: 2001, red convertible, tan interior, with new tires to boot. Beautiful!

Pickup is Life-giving

2006-02-27T09:40:00.000-08:00

Alright, I have to admit that I've done pretty poorly in my pickup game. Almost 30 days have past and I haven't done even one real #close. I have been studying lots of material but not really doing anything with it, and also given the amount of material I read, I forget it all on the spot. What I am going to do is start taking notes and running basic patterns on girls from ASF with a touch of MM and C&F. I just need a basic algorithm from hello to #close, and if I can get that I'll be set.

My major problem, I think, is my mental health. I'm not just lacking confidence, but I'm also plagued by horrible headaches that reduce my energy levels and happiness quotient. I've started into Lexapro to counter these headaches, but the side effects have been difficult to deal with thus far. However, I have to admit that within 48 hours I did notice some relief on the headaches, so I am going to continue to use them and see if they can help me.

At the same time, I'm going to be reading books on CBT and self-confidence. Confidence is key, and it's something I severely lack. Lack of confidence is a huge sign of weakness, and girls aren't attracted to weak men. So I'm going to continue to dive into CBT material to help fix my own thought patterns, and at the same time I'm going to go out and attempt pickup on girls to help improve my energy levels.

There is nothing more exciting than a successful pickup, even if it's just a #close.

Prizing

2006-02-26T00:21:00.000-08:00

I think one of the most valuable lessons I've learned recently is prizing. Historically I would always view a hot woman as the prize: you chase her, you get her, you win her. Then she's yours to bang and pat yourself on the back for seducing a hot girl. I suppose that mentality was programmed into my brain after years of movies where the guy would chase the girl.

Thank God there is a community to help me rewrite my brain against this horrible way of thinking. Rather, the more attractive method of getting women is prizing yourself, which makes a whole lot more sense. I look at myself and realize, well shit, I'm a fantastic guy! I've got a great body that I'm turning into a big, cut form over the next few months. I'm a good looking guy (and will only get better looking as I age, thank you God for the great genetic advantage). I make good money, I have a really nice dick, and I have an awesome car. To top it off, I'm a genuinely nice person at my core who really just wants a solid LTR to accompany him along the journey for however long necessary.

So why would I see a hot girl and think she's the great person to get? I'm the one she should be after! I'm the one she wants! I'm the one that will make her happier than all her previous jerk boyfriends.

The only problem I have with this prizing is that I don't fully believe it yet because I lack experience. I haven't had sex with dozens of women and had the time to carefully craft my sexual abilities, nor have I learned the best ways to make a woman feel amazing. I think once I get these abilities under my belt through some serious gaming, I should be in a great position to really prize myself above all other guys in the room.

Game on. This whole game is changing my life, and I love it. I just wish I had more time to practice! But hell, I will make the time.

It's not Fair!

2006-02-23T20:24:00.000-08:00

My roommate is an AFC yet his girlfriend is this totally hot Eastern European girl with a tight body who cooks for him. He's got bad breath, is about five years older, and doesn't have nearly the humor or imagination I have. And on his initial dates with his girlfriend, he asked her what she wanted to do and gave her a set of options rather than being the alpha male.

So why in the hell does he have a stable girlfriend and I do not? What did I do wrong?

The answer is confidence and luck. He picked a girl who was at the right stage in her life for a long term relationship, and to top it off she gave him a chance. My one-itis never gave me a chance and burned me because of it. Fuck her--I'm money and she doesn't realize it. Some day she will be sorry, just like all my previous girlfriends. Their fucking loss. Once I'm a PUA and can get any girl I want, I will exact my revenge on women everywhere. Never again will I fall under the control of any one girl, and never again will I allow a girl to abuse me emotionally or mentally. Fuck them all: women are easily the most dangerous creature on the planet.

GMail Chat is the IT-list

2006-02-23T10:45:00.000-08:00

Wow, Gmail integrating chat directly into the web client was an amazing move. I haven't signed onto AIM since! Sorry that this has nothing to do with Chivalry Lost, but it's incredible. Now you can chat with me directly (vanwilderpua at gmail). Google is fucking amazing.

On the Subject of Fakeness

2006-02-23T08:51:00.000-08:00

For a long time I've been pursuing friends who are real: genuine, honest people who are true to themselves and their word. However I've met a whole lot of people who I would consider un-real, and they piss me off. After thinking about it even more, I've started to question that maybe I am the one who is un-real. If all of these people I know who I think are fake are actually enjoying life a lot more than I am (happiness is key!), maybe I am the one doing something wrong?

I've halted on gaming right now to focus on improving self-confidence (which is the core of inner gaming), and so I'm going through Robert Anthony's eBook on "Total Self-Confidence". It got great reviews on Amazon.com, along with Think and Grow Rich. The basic idea is similar to NLP and reframing: if you can change the way you think, you can change the way you act and are perceived. If you can understand your thought patterns and learn to rewire them, you can truly achieve happiness and confidence. That's my goal for now: confidence and happiness. Women are a nice fringe benefit of confidence, but they aren't my primary goal here.

Falling Down

2006-02-21T16:35:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine was visiting me this weekend, and we spent probably half the time talking about women. For some reason, we always talk about that. Always. And it's depressing because we're always upset about it. I've told him about the game and the community and how it will make my life so much better, although I haven't had any success yet.

We got to talking about why I started playing the game, and I mentioned that one of my main reasons to play was to prevent myself from settling with a suboptimal mate. I know I'm an awesome guy, but because of my torn history I never seem to value myself high enough around women (or around men, it seems). So although I'm a great guy and everyone agrees, I don't have the confidence necessary to find a girl who's perfect for me. In reality this results in unhappy relationships where I'm too much of a wuss to break out. This happened to me numerous times before and I would see it recurring indefinitely until I had a horrible marriage.

So, in that sense, it was good that I got into this whole game. At the same time, I feel really sorry for all the guys out there who don't know that they can improve their situation in life. There are millions of nice guys who were programmed to kiss girls' asses, even though that strategy does not work in the real world. We were watching the movie Falling Down, and the lead character Bill (Michael Douglas) was your typical AFC: nice guy, works for a living, pays his taxes. But he's divorced and his wife won't let him see his kid. All he wants to do is see his daughter on her birthday, but because of his social problems he cannot.

At the end of the film, right before he is shot by the cop, he says "I did everything I was supposed to do," and he's the bad guy. His life is the AFC gone to the extreme, but after having seen the movie with my new eyes I'm glad I'm not going to end up like him. I know plenty of guys who are completely fed up with life already (in their early 20s) because they are so depressed and angry that they have to struggle so hard with women and people in general, and I'm so glad that there is a way to help these people. Once I help myself, I want to start helping others.

I just need to help myself first. That's the hardest part.

Sales is Hard!

2006-02-12T23:27:00.000-08:00

Gaming can be really hard on RAFCs. You read a few patterns, hopefully remember them, have a few good stories to tell, and then run off into the wild and start opening up girls. But when you're out there in the field, you may forget everything you learned and resort to AFCness. I'm finding myself doing that a lot when talking to girls: I just want to "be myself" and talk like the boring guy I always become in front of beautiful girls.

But I know that I have to stick with it. This component of my life is completely lacking, and 2006 is the year when I fix all of that. Onward!

"Split-Second Syndrome"

2006-02-12T22:47:00.000-08:00

I'm going to drop another quotation from the book Blink because it's a great line about split-second decisions and how we need to practice a lot to tweak our instincts. This is actually a paraphrasing of sentences about police officers:

[An AFC] goes to the scene as quickly as possible. He sees the [hot girl]. There is no time for thought. He acts. That scenario requires that mistakes be accepted as unavoidable. In the end, both of these perspectives are defeatist. They accept as a given the fact that once any critical incident is in motion, there is nothing that can be done to stop or control it. And when our instinctive reactions are involved, that view is all too common. But that assumption is wrong. Our unconscious thinking is, in no one critical respect, no different from our conscious thinking: in both, we are able to develop our rapid decision making with training and experience.

The author then tells a story of a security group that trains bodyguards. In each act, the bodyguard is shot from a different angle. By the fourth or fifth time they get shot in simulation, they are alright. Then they train the bodyguard to take on a ferocious dog. At first the heart rate is 175, and they can't see straight. The second or third time, it's 120, and then it's 110, and they can function.

What does this mean for us, RAFCs? It means that when you get that pang of fear in your stomach when you see a pretty girl on a night out, it's probably because you haven't talked with enough girls yet that night. So I would recommend myself that I open up at least four sets every night before starting real sarging. I guess this is difficult for me because I still end up usually opening 1 or 2 sets. But I'm working on it, and dammit I have commited myself to figuring this out -- no matter what.

I wonder if I can carry around a portable heart rate meter (I could always have a wingman measure my pulse). It would be neat to actually measure this data as it's coming back.

This is all encouraging information for us RAFCs who still fear each woman they open. David DeAngelo says that once you've done this enough, you eventually start to "see the matrix" like Neo did. When you can see all the data, you can essentially read people's minds and predict the future. I hope to be in that position some day soon. Whatever it takes so I will never have one-itis again -- except for my wife some day!

Time To Sarge

2006-02-10T16:41:00.000-08:00

OK, I'm getting sick of reading. I've been watching/listening to hours of David DeAngelo material, I've just downloaded a few more gigabytes of text, audio, and video from various gurus such as Swinggcat, David X, and Mystery. When does it all end?

So to get past all this crap, I'm going to sarge tonight with some friends. Of course I don't use the term sarge, but it's more like we're meeting women. Watch out, U. District: we're coming at you. My goal is to get at least 3 #closes and, if possible, 1 *close. That's pretty pathetic for higher ranking RAFCs and lower PUAs, but for me that would be enormous.

I've been working out a lot and I'm starting to get lean: holding at 14% body fat and 190 lbs, but within a month I should be around 10% BF and 188 lbs (hopefully). I'll have my new car by then and hopefully I will have reframed myself through hypnosis: this is, of course, the most important part. I'm going to start keeping track of my successes in a spreadsheet, but since I have had 0 successes so far, I have nothing to keep track of. Much like I keep track of my weight and body fat in a database, I'm going to also track my #closes, *closes, and f-closes. I'll take pictures of the women, write notes about them, and track my progress with colorful little charts.

The important thing is that I stop spending my nights inside, find some wingmen, and start hitting the streets. This is the weekend when it starts. Let's go!

All You Need is Love

2006-02-08T23:29:00.000-08:00

It's funny how true these words are. It's so simple, so fundamental, and so accurate.

What's not funny is that it's the only thing I lack. Love. No amount of money, looks, muscle, or prizes can replace something as basic as love.

Life's a bitch, so I say bitch-slap it.

Depression

2006-02-08T10:06:00.000-08:00

Depression is an interesting human phenomenon: it's completely unattractive to females, and since their attraction to men can prevent a depressed man from having sex, he in turn becomes more depressed, possibly to the point of suicide. Isn't that horrible? Nature really wants to weed out those who don't have their heads on straight. Even as I type this, all I want to do is go home and crawl underneath the sheets. I know that later tonight I will be feeling fine, but this constant fear of women and lack of confidence is like a virus that's tearing apart my brain. And the worst part is that it only makes itself worse by realizing that it exists. I'm trying to exercise the demons, so to speak, but it's a difficult quest. I wish I could just meet a magical hypnotherapist who could put me into a trance and begin to untie the knots inside my head.

Power

2006-02-07T08:31:00.000-08:00

David D advocates not giving up your power when you meet a new girl (or anyone, really). So if you meet a new girl and say, "You're so beautiful, let me buy you a drink," etc. you've essentially given up your bargaining chip over her. Or if a girl starts whining and complaining, and you succumb to her fits, you again are surrendering your power over her. This is amazing but true, but it's good to hear about it from his research.

For the longest time on this blog I was pining for my catalyst, the one-itis that started it all in me. She became my Helen of Troy. When I see her now, I still get a rush of emotion because of all the negative associations I have with her, but I'm not thinking about her much anymore. Why? Because I analyzed her from a logical point of view: she has no job, no passion, no dedication, no sympathy, and to top it off, she treats me horribly, even as a friend. Compare her with me: I'm dedicated, passionate, gainfully employed, caring, and I treat people as I would like to be treated. In short, she's the loser, and I am the winner. I just feel like a loser because I don't have girls hitting on me all the time. (This will change over the next few months, of course)

It's just amazing how someone of such high value (such as myself) could feel inferior to someone of relatively low value. She's funny and very attractive, and she can be nice, but overall she doesn't have her life together and she's now leeching off her current boyfriend. Hey, that's great: gold-diggers need suckers who will support them. The poor bastard doesn't realize that he's just picked up some dead weight in exchange for sex.

But I am very happy that I started into this whole game because it has begun to change my perspective. I never qualified girls before; I would just be happy that an attractive girl was talking to me. I always would succumb to a girl's fits to appease them, and in general I would do anything it took to make them happy. I didn't realize that what I was doing was living in their realities, not my own. I was letting myself be controlled by an external force. No wonder they never were attracted to me!

Remember This

2006-02-04T15:55:00.000-08:00

There's a lot of stuff you learn in the game of pickup, but there are also a lot of life-enhancing tricks that will improve your game immediately. All of the books on pickup talk about this, but it's absolutely true and you really need to follow the guidelines:

Work out. You don't need to pump iron five days/week or run ten miles/day, but you should be hitting the gym consistently each week. Women love strong men, but it's more important to be cut and lean than to be big but fat. So if you can't put on muscle to save your life, get your body fat below 10%, do pushups, pullups, and situps.
Clean your teeth! Keep them clean! Get braces/invisalign to straighten them up. Smile is very important in pickup. A good smile is very sexy, and a bad smile can be the difference between success and failure. If your game is good enough, it won't matter, but early on, it helps. I'm working on this because I need braces again. (sigh)
Dress nicely. You don't need to wear Armani suits every day, but dress well. Buy a couple $50 pairs of jeans, get some nice quality t-shirts (or even some tight funny t-shirts, but still good looking--tight t-shirts are key when you're cut or big).
Keep your apartment and bedroom clean and organized. Nothing says you're at a loss for control of your life if your bedroom is always a mess. It makes a big difference to sleep in a clean room each night.
Always have a bottle of (sparkling) wine at home in case you invite girls over.
Always know of a nice coffee/tea/hookah place where you can spend 30 minutes with someone to get to know them.
Get a life and be passionate about something. When you want to suck a girl into your reality, you want to make sure it's a good place to be. Learn to play golf or the guitar, or go rock climbing or fly airplanes. Do something that makes your life better and women will be interested. I know this is hard to understand when you can't get women, but it goes hand in hand. Once you are better at pickup, you will start to integrate pickup into your life rather than having pickup be your life. So after 6-12 months of hardcore pickup, get back to doing what you want to do.
Keep yourself well-groomed. If you're shaggy and messy, it's unattractive in general, unless a slightly unshaven face is your thing. For us white guys it's not. Keep your hair nice, and if you are balding, keep it short but look clean. I am majorly balding but I keep my hair shaved really close so it looks good.
Always keep in your pocket a pen, paper, and condoms.
Keep a prop in your pocket if you can perform some magic tricks with coins. It's fun stuff in a conversation, no matter how juvenile it may be.

I'm signing up with a personal trainer now. It's expensive ($600/month) but I get 3 hours/week with this guy, and he really kicks ass. He'll get my diet underway and I'll start dropping fat but gaining muscle. I figure six months of training is enough to make me big and cut. It's a lot of money but consider the long-term implications of being tall, handsome, and ripped. Not only do you get to eat more, you also get chicks swooning over you. Few men (<5%) have the dedication to make themselves truly physically amazing.

I've reached the point of studying pickup where I'm thinking about it all the time. Every day I'm reading more and listening to more, but I'm not practicing as much. I hope to get more practice going soon, but I want to mention that pickup should not become your life permanently. It may take several months (if not a year or two) to become really good at it, assuming you practice 4-5 times/week, but after you've become confident, you need to get back to life and integrate your skills into your daily routines. Then when you're out golfing, dancing, or driving your car, you can use what you've learned and pickup girls while enjoying your existence.

Alrighty, enough preaching for me. I'm hoping to sarge in the U. District tonight. Game on!

Coffee Shop Pickup

2006-01-30T21:26:00.000-08:00

I've always feared picking up girls who work behind the counters in bars or coffee shops. Tonight I did some really short C+F on this girl behind the counter and got a nice IOI while she was making the coffee. Then I wussed out and wouldn't get her number because my sister always asked me to never hit on girls who are working. However, my pivot who was with me decided this was bullshit and went to get her number. It was an awesome story with her asking the HB for her number, her hesitating for a moment, at which point my friend says, "It's not for me, you know." The HB leaves her number and I'm supposed to call her tonight. I'll give it a shot. What do I have to lose?

The Game: The Movie

2006-01-30T14:59:00.000-08:00

There were a few rumors circulating on the net about a movie of The Game (no, not the Michael Douglas version). I certainly hope they don't release one! Our entire community will be destroyed. The book did enough to open up the game to the world, but fortunately most people don't read books. People would be a lot more wary of players if they could see a 2-hour film on the subject at the local theater. Please, Style: no movie!

David DeAngelo is Scary Correct

2006-01-30T13:19:00.000-08:00

I just started into the audio portion of David DeAngelo's material. I don't know how well his stuff works, but I am thoroughly amazed by what he is saying. He's speaking directly to my soul and, I would imagine, a whole lot of guys' souls. I've loaded a bunch of his audio into my new MP3 player and I'll be listening to it again and again at the gym. Please help me, David! I feel you have the potential of literally saving my life.

There's one thing he mentions calls "transition vulnerability" which is a scary concept that has been addressed by other PUAs. Mystery suggested in Style's "Annihilation Method" farewell session that there are only AFCs and PUAs. Anyone in the middle is really floating in water and very vulnerable. The techniques you learn and practice can really rock your world, and it can frighten you as well. When you're in this middle ground between chump and rockstar, you need to be awfully careful because of the awesome emotional power that may unload upon you. I'm there right now, and I'm scared. Some days are good and some days are really, really bad. As I type this, I'm terrified. One-itis is flaring up and all I want to do is crawl into a hole and hide from the world.

David D mentions that failure with women can be like a virus running on the internal computer system inside a guy's head. It affects everything else running and corrupts his system as a whole. He's absolutely right. Hell, I'm typing this at work because I can't think of anything else except gaming. I was in a meeting today thinking about what tracks I need to review, what books I need to read, and where I need to practice. I haven't even had a full success yet since I started down this path, but I can't stop thinking about it. This game can consume your life. Watch out!

The funny thing is that before the game, I never thought about this stuff. I would see a pretty girl, be scared, and run away. Or if I talked to a pretty girl, I'd say hi, nice to meet you, and then look away. Scared. Now I know to continue the conversation, demonstrate high value, build rapport, etc., but since I'm hyperaware of it, I'm nervous because I'm judging myself. Until I'm totally confident with women and no longer allow them to run my life (as they are right now--pathetic!), it's going to be rough. This blog is my only support network because others don't understand how difficult this bridge can be. Thank you for listening, blog. No one knows about you, but hopefully some day someone in my shoes will read this and see that they, too, can go from AFC to PUA. Screw the terms: they can become confident and conquer their inner fears.

Pickup is Life

2006-01-28T10:46:00.000-08:00

As much as I am sad that I have to undergo so much training to "be all I can be," I am excited of the world it is opening. The people I model myself after are outgoing, sociable, and successful. They are picky about their mates and confident in their decisions. They know what they want, and they can get it.

As I type this in the morning, recovering from a nasty sickness, I wish I had a sweet girlfriend laying next to me, embracing me for my AFCness. Oh how sweet it would have been! I look over my past relationships and wonder why they all felt so unfulfilling, and I think the primary reason was that the girls never felt strong attraction to me in any of them. I was as nice as I could be, but it just never gained their attention.

In hindsight, I don't blame them for treating me badly, for I was not being the best I could be. I ponder if I would have made it as far as I have if I were not an AFC. Would I even be in the city I am today, or working the job I do? Would I be throwing so much time and money into self-improvement had I found a "good enough" girlfriend? I doubt it: as an AFC, I would be happy to have what I had.

I know that in a year or two, I will look back and be so incredibly happy that everything happened the way it did, but right now I am feeling incredibly lonely (emotionally). I wish I had a girl laying next to me and holding on to me, even if I knew she weren't the one for me. Kino is such a fundamentally human necessity that I think many of us go a little goofy when we don't have it. This is why I am starting into dancing soon, so I can touch plenty of girls at will.

If only the one-itis weren't keeping me awake at nights...

Fear of Settling

2006-01-25T17:26:00.000-08:00

I realized today when driving home from work that one of my main motivations for studying pickup and seduction is not to sleep with lots of women, but to become the best person I can be. Above all other things, I fear settling for the wrong woman (and her settling for me, the wrong man!). I know plenty of men out there who are getting engaged and married, and I know plenty of girls who are with the wrong guys, but they continue to stay in these pointless relationships because of their emotional attachments even though they may intellectually realize that these mates are not appropriate!

I know I would become victim of this had I not joined the community. I want to know when I pick my bride that she is the best match for me, and I want her to know that I can easily go out and find a younger, hotter, more exciting girl so that she never takes me for granted or regards me with contempt. In all of my previous relationships, I was always so happy to be with a girl that I didn't really care that we weren't good for each other, and I thought that I was just lucky to be with someone attractive. How pathetic was that?

In that respect, I'm increasingly happy that I had one-itis for this girl and was forced to play this game. By the time you see the new Van Wilder on May 1, he's going to be a different man.

If only I could find a way to cure these damn headaches...

NLP Healing

2006-01-24T17:36:00.000-08:00

I'm suffering from crazy headaches, as I have for the past few years. They get a lot worse under stress and I am running out of options. I've tried neuromuscular dentistry, acupuncture, lifestyle changes, tension supression systems (nightguards), and lots of medication, but nothing works. CT scans are reporting that my sinuses are perfectly normal, which rules out damage to the sinuses, and sinus medication to fight sinusitis fails.

I think it is possible that the cause of the headaches is psychological in origin, and this is why I am going down the path of hypnosis and NLP. I don't know if it will work, but I figure it's worth a shot. At this point I will try anything.

Feminism Failed

2006-01-21T10:47:00.000-08:00

I was sent an interesting article on the failure of feminism.

I believe one of the major reasons so many American men are wusses today is because of feminism. We were taught from the beginning to be nothing but gentlemen to women and treat them like queens, but they never liked it! All women want to be treated well, but if you treat them too well too early in a relationship or treat them too well all the time, they will never respect you. Feminism violates the laws of the world. Hell, even in most primate societies, the male never feeds the female; even when she is lumbering around with children in her belly, she still must find her own food. The male will, at most, defend her. Women want to be taken care of but I think most men went overboard!

Feminism failed because neither men nor women want it!

Lazy Sunday

2006-01-21T00:30:00.000-08:00

I am reading David DeAngelo's eBook, Double Your Dating, right now and will be practicing as soon as I finish. The rest of this post has nothing to do with pickup, but you should see this hilarious video clip made by Saturday Night Live about two white guys going to see the Chronicles of Narnia in New York. It's called Lazy Sunday.

Book: How to Pick Up Girls

2006-01-18T18:28:00.000-08:00

As I'm digging myself deeply into the list of recommended books in The Game, I am piling up a stack of paper that needs to be digested. I'm going to start taking offlines notes in a binder with appropriately tagged chapters, but I am also intending to briefly review books I am reading and then report my successes on this blog. The funny thing I've noticed so far is that there is a lot of conflicting material out there (some books say "buy her a drink!" while PUAs say "never supplicate!"; some books say "compliment her" while DeAngelo says "tease the hell out of her"). After you've become really successful at dating correctly, it doesn't really matter what you say because you have built yourself into a fun and confident person.

Anyway, I'm reading Eric Weber's classic How To Pick Up Girls, originally written in 1970 and referenced right at the end of The Game. Weber's book is considered the first true book on the subject and claims over 3 million copies in print in however many languages. Weber successfully picked up his wife by blocking her passage in a bar, saying "You're way too pretty to let get away." She said "Do you think?" and they have essentially been together ever since.

The book claims it will turn you into a truely confident and outgoing person who others are naturally drawn towards. This is noble because I don't trust any book saying only "We're going to turn you into a dating machine!" (mentioned in another book on my list)

So how does it do? It contains the necessary material to successfully open girls but I would not say it succeeds teaching you how to pick up girls. Most chapters are filled with openers and reminders about the theory of this all. The book contains clippings from the "Fabulous Fifty", a set of beautiful women who provide their insights on pickup. Where do they like getting picked up? Everywhere. When do they like getting picked up? Anytime. What type of approaches creep them out? They all disagree (some like C+F, some like flat out honesty, etc.)

The book does regularly remind you of some of the basic laws of pickup that you really need to believe and follow. Such examples:

All girls want to get picked up, even if they have a boyfriend (this is a confirmed tenet of seduction: everyone wants to be seduced)
As a guy, you're going to have to make opportunities for yourself. (exceptions: incredibly high social proof or perceived value, such as being Steve Jobs walking into a party in San Francisco or being a super hot or ripped guy who girls are drooling after)
Want to meet more women? Meet more people. This one is very true and I find myself failing this in recent history. I have been spending so much time focusing on women that I forgot I should be chatting up men just as much. I do like talking to men, but men can't get my juices flowing. So I've noticed myself avoiding hanging out with only guys or talking to guys at bars because I would only want to focus on the women. I will try harder to abide by this law because I have seen it work in action as well as reported by Style in the Game. (lead the men and the women will follow you) It does reinforce the point that you want to be perceived as a cool, confident, and fun guy, and this will naturally make you more appealing to women.
All humans like to be touched by other humans. Read: kino! Touch her softly on her cheek, or brush her shoulder after you feel her hair. This is a fundamental rule of pickup and boy does it work!
Next time you move in on a girl, think to yourself, "I'm doing her a favor. I'm about to bring a little excitement and drama and romance into her life."

While the book lays out a ton of opening routines and nuggets of wisdom like above, it fails at outlining overall strategies for the pickup itself once you are engaged. PUAs train to demonstrate high value by telling stories (me) or performing tricks (Mystery), and this is essential in your pickup routine. My major problem is no longer opening up women: I can usually generate some opening line or find a way to get their attention, but I consciously find myself running out of things to say during the conversation to the point where I choke up and decide to bail out. Unless a girl is really interested in your stories or initial material, she will probably want to get back with her friends or the party. So get her number!

Unfortunately this is a big problem for most RAFCs: the confidence to ask for a number without fear of rejection. I admit that I have never asked for a girl's number during a pickup routine thus far, even when it was obvious the girl was interested (kino, IOIs, etc.). I am always worried I will say "so can I call you sometime?" and they will say "ugg I have a boyfriend" or flat out, "eh, I'd prefer not." Or perhaps the worst possible flavor: the fake number. All girls have fake numbers they use on guys, and while confidence is boosted when you get a number, it is typically destroyed when you find out she faked you.

So while this book does provide a lot of important common sense reminders for the reader to enjoy, it doesn't provide any material for the follow-through (read: close). Follow-through is most important in pickup, "just like in life, ha ha ha." (Kate Hepburn, The Aviator) Without any follow-through material most guys who severely lack self-confidence (me) are going to freeze up after the conversation runs stale.

The book is good overall, but if you want some seriously insightful material, remember the basics (even the ones I have listed above) and save yourself the $15.

Power

2006-01-17T00:11:00.000-08:00

My father and my cousin are both womanizers (well, my dad was, but he's old and married now). For the longest time I didn't want to be like them because they both cheated on their wives, but unfortunately I was so anti-womanizing that I ended up on the furthest other side of the spectrum, the low AFC. While I was a great guy as an AFC (I still am a great guy), most girls are genetically bound against AFCs, so I had essentially screwed myself in honor of some ancient code of chivalry that probably never existed. This is why my blog is called Chivalry Lost: because I am cleansing myself of these horrible traits.

Back to my dad and his cousin: I've realized that using the technologies of this game, most notably the powers of self-hypnosis, I can become more powerful than either of them (they were naturals). My cousin is still incredibly good at his own game, but I think I could achieve even more. Me! My ex-girlfriends wouldn't even believe it.

I'm excited! This week I am reading more David DeAngelo. Sarging this weekend, baby!

Let's Get It Started

2006-01-15T05:23:00.000-08:00

The time has come. I've been talking a lot about sarging, I've been detailing some of my initial sarges, and I've been postulating the mysteries of myself on this blog for months now. I've also been ranting about the source of my one-itis (unfortunately like the song goes, there is "always something there to remind me" given our social network connections).

Now is the time to get serious in the New Year. I'm finishing up Eric Weber's classic "How To Pick Up Girls" book this week and will write a short review, and then I'm diving straight into thte documentation and media of my first dating guru, David DeAngelo. I've got his eBook on Double Your Dating and I'm also getting his video series on the same subject. I'm in regular contact with people in the Seattle Lair, and I'm also talking to a PUA on the east coast who went from lay-less to five girls/week within six months of practice. I'm also contemplating trying the Mystery Method live seminar in a few months, as well as autosuggestion/NLP with Steve P.

I'm going to start hitting up the gym around eight times/week to bulk up, I am healing from my rhinoplasty (and it looks good), and I should have my new Corvette within a few weeks.

I've got everything I need to get started down this path, and this week is when I begin my intensive training. I will continue to post as I go, although I will keep the minutiae of my notes in my carbon notebook. Wish me luck! There are six girls waiting for me to sleep with them before May 1, so I've got some work to do.

CSI: Miami (Episode #84, The Score)

2006-01-14T09:17:00.000-08:00

I watched my first episode of CSI this past week with my cousin, who is a huge fan of the show. The episode opened in a club with three men at the top of the stairs staring down upon the women. The middle man said "OK men, pick your targets". At this point I thought that this show might be about pickup, but maybe they were just murderers or something. The two guys with the main guy chose the women they wanted, and they proceed down to talk to them. Student #1 pulls out lint from his pocket and pulls it off the girl's dress, using a classic routine listed in The Game. Then he runs ESP (1-10) on her and proceeds to seduce her. The second student fails with a neg hit on a 7 ("nice hair... those are extensions, right?"), but then he succeeds with another girl using a female opinion question.

Soon afterward student #1 is found dead, and the CSI folks try to find out "who done it." The episode involves a lot of terminology from the community, including "#closes", "neg hit," and bags of lint handed out at seminars. It even refers to student #2 as "The Magician" as his alias, clearly referencing Mystery, although of course Mystery was not a student.

The girl targeted by #1 turns out to be a reporter who was doing research on pickup artists in a vain attempt to protect women from their standard routines. She feels pickup objectifies women and turns men into monsters. I have to disagree: the purpose of pickup isn't to sleep with lots of women, it's to build your self-confidence and get the women you want. She thinks pickup was turning her brother into a machine, but he felt it was making him a better man.

The purpose of my post here is two-fold: to discuss the value of pickup in relation to this story and also to discuss the size of the community's exposure.

For the first point, I again must declare that pickup is not intended to break as many women's hearts as possible, although some men do choose to do this as revenge on the fairer sex for years of abuse. Most guys in the game are really nice men who just want sweet girlfriends, but they have had countless bad experiences in the past and are sick of women treating them with near apathy. Men are plagued by our need for sex as well as companionship, just as much as women really, but we don't advertise that normally. And a large number of men who happened to get off on the wrong foot need help getting back on track. Pickup does this, and it makes confidence-deprived men a lot stronger internally. Like in the Tao of Steve, the purpose of the philosophy isn't to get lots of chicks, but to be the best person you can be. It seems women don't understand that.

The more alarming aspect of this show is how much extra exposure the community gets as a result of being on a popular show. I asked around to see if other PUAs had encountered resistance from women who are aware of the game, but as it turns out, only maybe 1 in 10 have ever heard of the game, and those rare exceptions usually had heard about it second or third hand. There is a difference between reading about a game in an article and undergoing months if not years of training in playing the game. So fortunately, I don't think too many women are aware that there are entire seminars of aspiring pickup artists out there.

Double fortunately for me, most men here in Seattle are wusses when it comes to women anyway, and I've seen first hand that alpha male'ing the shit out of women here works wonders. There is no short line of women who would happily sleep with men here who have some balls. Perhaps it's the rain that makes men so weak in Seattle?

Either way, it's good for me having to train in such a shithole. When my time here is over, I can move on to bigger and better things in cities with more attractive and higher quality women.

I'm excited to start into the game this month because it's something that I need to do. I want to find a solid girlfriend who understands me and treats me well, but I also want to have the confidence knowing I can get almost any girl I choose. Remember that women treat men like stock symbols, and the higher your stock price rises, the more they will want to buy you. It is a shame that I have had to put off my other business projects to study pickup exclusively, but I know that in the long run it will be worth it.

But we shall see. Welcome to 2006, Van Wilder!

New Year Resolutions

2006-01-12T06:59:00.000-08:00

I'm not too much a fan of the New Year resolutions, primarily because I always forget them and never live up to them. This year I am writing them down and posting them to my bathroom mirror so I always see them. What are my resolutions? I want to continue to build a better body, I want to study the art of seduction and perfect my game over the next six months, but most of all, I just want to be happy. That seems to be my biggest problem: finding happiness. I thought I might find happiness in business-related projects, but I have not. I thought I would find happiness in women, but so far I continue to prove myself a failure (to my credit, I am trying). My great failure with my catalyst only reinforces this deficiency.

The biggest problem, of course, is finding happiness in myself! This is why I think inner gaming is going to be the most important aspect of the game I will learn this year. There is nothing more attractive than a completely confident man who is incredibly happy with himself, and my big problem is that I simply am not happy with myself, no matter where I go. I don't know where I will find happiness to cure this problem, but I know it is out there somewhere. Perhaps my lack of happiness is due directly to my poor abilities with women? If so, then sarging will be the best thing for me. I also know that I'm not particularly excellent at anything except maybe computers. Every other activity I have ever done was always temporary: I was never excellent at soccer, swimming, or playing the guitar. Why? I never put enough time into any of them because I have problems maintaining focus on anything. I think if I become really good at sarging and working out, that will be something I can be proud of, and once I am a master at the game, I can move onto bigger and better things.

I remember the taste of happiness, though, and it did have to do with sarging. When I was back at my college on a recruiting trip a few months ago, and I was on fire with women and everyone else too, I felt alive for the first time in years. I want to find a way to be like that all the time.

Rhinoplasty: Day 6

2006-01-09T09:36:00.000-08:00

My bandages are not yet off from my nose, but I am loving my new look. My eyes are so much more prominent as are my lips. I think this was money well spent! $3,000 for Lasik and $8,000 for a nosejob. Next on the list of vanity upgrades: braces for $7,000 (well worth it since it's functional too), and of in 2010, hair cloning and transplantation. I had amazing hair one day, but it all started falling out when I was in college. Right now I'm sporting the Bruce Willis look.

Off to Rio de Janeiro tomorrow! (hopefully) Brazilian women are the most beautiful in the world.

Camaraderie

2006-01-06T04:30:00.000-08:00

I had a great talk today on IM with a friend of mine from college. I asked him flat out if he was happy, and he flat out responded "nope." Both of us went to a great university, and both of us are going to be very wealthy some day (he already is, considering the size of his trust fund). We're both really smart and have worked really hard to get to where we are today. Yet, despite all these great attributes, we are both completely depressed all of the time because of women. We see girls around us that would make great girlfriends, and we see movies of chumps like ourselves falling for these fantastic women. Yet these stories never happen to us. And each month we grow more and more bitter.

Neither of us wants to be players: we just want to have girls who love us for who we are and would be loyal to us. No matter how hard we try to find these girls, we simply fail to attract them. Then of course we are fucked once we get a lot of money because then the girls will only want us for our money. So, in short, we're screwed.

This is why I am playing the game and entering the community: to attract girls by my actions and words, not by my props and net value. I would be the happiest man on the planet to land a girl and be a total AFC with her, and she would be totally loyal to me in return. I just fear I won't be able to find a relationship like that. My catalyst could have been that girl, but she has fallen for another guy who is actually quite similar to me but, of course, better looking and therefore more confident and holding higher perceived value. Fuck 'em all.

Rhinplasty: Day 1

2006-01-04T11:49:00.000-08:00

The majority of the pain has passed now and I am simply cleaning my bandages. I've queued up the first two seasons of Chappelle's Show on my DVD player so I've got plenty of entertainment. I only hope this was a worthwhile investment. $8,000 is a hell of a lot of money for making my nose nicer, but if it works well enough then it's worth my time. The real key to rhinoplasty is not to suddenly make women more attractive, but to boost your own self-image. You have to understand that America is a cosmetic society, so if you want to play the game, you've gotta play by the rules. The greatest rule is to have highest confidence in yourself, but unfortunately the best way to have such high confidence is to feel great about your appearance as well as your own abilities.

I entered the game knowing I was pretty confident with myself and friends, but I've always felt completely worthless around women. When I have a girlfriend I'm usually on top of the world, but whenever I go for a few months (or years) without a lady friend, I start losing my confidence again.

This is all good though: the recent near-successes I've had give me confidence that I will have the guts to call myself a pickup artist by the end of 2006.

Rhinplasty: Day 0

2006-01-03T23:30:00.000-08:00

My surgery was completed around twelve hours ago as of this writing. I feel incredibly drowsy and my eyes are blood shot, but other than the bruising, the bleeding, and the pain, I feel great. I can't wait to see how my new nose looks in a week! This is the second step of improving my physical appearance in 2006 (the first being the orthotic for fixing my bad bite and TMD). I've got ongoing weightlifting through 2007, and I'm also looking to get braces this year as well to fix my teeth. And I've got a dermatologist appointment to learn to make my skin smooth and clean.

I'll let you know how the rhinoplasty goes. I'm very optimistic right now, and anything to improve my outer game is a great bonus. As always, inner game is the most important element of pickup, but I'm dividing and conquering so we'll see where this leads.

My real study of pickup and practice starts in just under a month. 2006 should be a great year.

Stay the Course

2005-12-31T12:03:00.000-08:00

The Tarot cards that threw me down this path of destruction in November told me to stay the course, continue working on my abilities as a seducer, that I should forget the problems of the past and the skeletons in my closet, that my father figure knows I have the talent for greatness in me and ignores my own problems, and that I would have a reunion with a former interest. Some of this has come true except for the reunion with the former interest, which I assume is the source of my one-itis. The cards did tell me to stay the course and keep doing what I'm doing, with the hope that I will some day be rewarded.

Right now I'm going to continue working on improving my own life and loving life even more. I do love life and existence, but I am plagued by some terrible pain that I cannot explain. It manifests itself in my head as this horrible pressure on the front of my skull. Unfortunately the orthotic I am using to treat my TMD is not fixing this problem yet so I am hoping they can adjust it or somehow figure a way to get it working. Perhaps they could just reimburse me if it doesn't work?

I'm continuing down my path of PUA and will start sarging full time later in January. I'm getting my nosejob on Jan 3 to give myself a more natural looking nose, I should be negotiating the purchase of a new Corvette in late January too, and I will continue working out regularly. The most important upgrade, however, will be my mental workouts. Sarging, studying women, and practicing regularly will boost my confidence around the female sex, but inner gaming is my primary concern of all. Style mentioned that being truly happy about life and yourself is the most attractive feature a man have, and that is what I am hoping to achieve. A wingman's buddy is going to San Diego to see Steve P later in February, and my wingman here in Seattle is going with me to a self-hypnosis expert in the state of Washington. We are going to see how we can learn the secrets of self-hypnosis to cure problems we have. For instance, I know one of my major problems is pent-up anger that I can't seem to permanently vent. Perhaps with hypnosis I can learn to vent this?

I know the first few months of 2006 will be rough as I am getting started into gaming, but I know it will all turn out well. VW will live up to calling as a PUA and the world will seem a lot nicer as a result. I will be able to get any woman I want and never lose a high quality girl again due to my own AFCness.

Increasing my perceived value is going to be one of my primary concerns. I noticed a week ago when hanging out with old friends how much more my female friends like me when they see me hitting on other girls right in front of them. They saw that me going into a 3-set of women without a care in the world was an incredibly attractive quality, and they gave me kisses as a result. It's amazing how well this works and I hope to keep this train going.

Only you few blog followers know that all of this is being done in an attempt to win back my one-itis, and have her pursuing me like I was the most attractive guy around. I want to arrive to the day where she is almost begging me to be her boyfriend, and on that day I want to decide whether she is worth it. I know this sounds sadistic but it's really not: this girl had some serious potential once she grew up a few years mentally.

Either way, of course, I win out. It's not like people are getting married here, and there's a long way to go before VW settles down with any woman. Unfortunately I am pained by a perpetual paradox: emotionally I want one really great girlfriend who really loves me and I love her, but it seems the only way to obtain that is to sleep with lots of women and increase my perceived value and self-confidence. I've got such a long ways to go but thankfully I know I'm not alone in this journey. I've always got Style's The Game to remind me that others in my class of men have also walked this path.

As Good As It Gets

2005-12-31T10:08:00.000-08:00

The hot young secretary at the publishing agency is shaking in her boots as Melvin (Jack Nicholson) is in her presence. She loves the idea of a man who knows women's minds and hearts. This reminds me that women (and men) are really like computers running code and, as such, can both be cracked. I suppose the optimal way to get a woman to really like you a lot is to figure out this code and put her into such a state. I think this is where NLP and Speed Seduction might actually be useful.

The best line of the movie comes immediately after Melvin talks with this girl:

HB: How do you write women so well?
Melvin: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

Pure hilarity.

Anyway, my course is clear: study women and understand them well. Then once I crack the code, I can become a master seducer and score with any woman I want. One less chump going around and whole lot more satisfied women.